To tell my son his singing is awful

[stopthesingsong]

My (adult) son likes to sing and thinks he is talented but actually his singing is awful and he sings all the time when he's home, wandering around the kitchen singing at the top of his voice with his very deep out of tune noise singing.

I don't want to offend him but AIBU if I tell him to STFU and stop singing even though I know he sings because he's always in a good mood and it's me that's the grump.

Has he ever recorded himself singing and listened to it? It might make him change his mind.

How often is your son at home, and singing? Unless it's 24/7 I think you're a joy less old bat.

I'd leave him to it. Sounds like he is having fun

Obvs ask him to be quiet if you're trying to do something that requires concentration, otherwise let him crack on

If it’s just singing to himself around the house is it really so bad that he’s a bit crap? (although annoying!). Might be a different story if he was planning on rocking up to the open mic night at the pub.

If he just sings at home leave him to it. If he actually thinks he could make it and plans to go on the X factor then tell him. I always wonder WTF when someone turns up with 20 family members going in about how great they are, the person opens their mouth and it sounds like someone strangling a cat.

Does The X Factor still exist? You could always let Simon Cowell do the deed for you.

Leave him alone. It's not kind and it's not necessary.

Record the singing and show it to him as PP suggested. Will quickly change his mind if he really is that bad. However YABU if it isn't constant

Yes he's just having fun, I'll miss him when he leaves home so maybe I should lighten up.

As long as he doesn't have delusions that he's really good at it and wants to make it a career/humiliate himself in public, you don't have to shoot him down.

Also, your post made me laugh and think of this:

Is he just singing around the house? Why would you tell him he’s bad? I mean, is he looking to go in X factor or something? Or is he just really loud and annoying? Depends what your relationship is like. I’ve no trouble telling people in my house to wrap up cos your doin ma head in. Or are there cats getting their heads rammed in a drawer somewhere? Or have you tried to shove the dog in the vuvuzela again?....depends how you guys get on. If he’s a bit touchy maybe sweetie I love that your so enthusiastic but could you maybe do it at a lower volume cos I can’t concentrate/hear/my ears are bleeding Or your just being grumpy

Enthusiastic - if out of tune - singing is fun. People don’t seem to mind that. It always gets crowds going in karaoke if the person singing is obviously having fun.

I was mocked for my singing as a child and it has left deep scars that mean I would now never dream of ever singing in front of anyone, ever. I would rather die. Please don’t do that to him.

You are so lucky to have a happy son in your house singing

If it's just a case of him singing in the house then I wouldn't tell him he's bad. If you're trying to concentrate/read/watch tv then you could quite reasonably ask him to quieten down.

If he starts mentioning entering talent competitions such as X factor, then I would definitely tell him as nicely as possible I always feel so bad when people audition for X factor and the whole family has been telling them they're good when actually they can't sing a note.

He's not that bad but he wakes up at 6AM singing and clowning about but it's the volume he belts out a ballad while making his toast and coffee and thinks he's brilliant but nooo it's like nails down a black board.
I wouldn't really tell him it's awful because I know he enjoys it.

Does he actually think he is a bad singer though?

I am an awful, tone deaf singer. I don't need to be told how bad I am, I may be tone deaf but I know hearing me sing is a punishment for other people. It don't bloody stop me though

Please do not let him go to Britain Got Talent to find out! Some parents seem to do! And their faces when they are told they are not good singers is quite a picture!
But just for fun, as a good mood at home, just let him sing and sing his heart out.
Maybe no when you are WFH

Maybe ask him simply to tune it down a bit? Singing can get very annoying very quickly

I feel your pain.
I have a 12 year old dd who sings at the top of her voice constantly. We've all been locked down together since 20th of bloody March, I want to cry. No it's not lovely/wonderful she's happy/doing no harm, my ears are bleeding, my nerves are shot, I can't concentrate on anything. It starts around 7.30am and doesn't stop till 10pm AT ALL! And she's a very good singer, but very loud and constant. I say shut the fuck up under my breath so many times a day!!

Why can't you ask them to sing quietly? I sing all the time, and I'm terrible, but I don't sing at the top of my lungs.

He’s happy let him be! But maybe get some earplugs

I am a singer and my poor family must have hated me growing up lol but they knew that is how I cope with life. If I don’t sing or listen to music I can get really depressed as it’s like an outlet for my emotions. Apparently it is a recognised thing.

I do feel your pain though.
Could you have the radio or tv on low and so you can say you can’t hear it with him singing so loudly. Or could you get him a computer microphone that he can use in his bedroom (then he might stay there and sing).

We have 2 singers in the house and 2 non singers. DD2 likes to sing, she's quite good, I like to sing but am terrible and never know all the lyrics. The other 2 are joysuckers and put on a pained expression after about 2 secs, even when it's DD2 singing not me. DD2 even says she'd rather wash up on her own than have help from her sister as then she can sing while she's doing it. If she and I wash up or do other jobs together we have a blast singing.

There's enough moaning and misery in the world. Let him have his fun.

LOL my ds2 is the same..he's 23 and has autism but that's no excuse for his singing.. loudly, constantly.. and it's all musicals. However while I may not want to hear his flat rendition of Gethsemane (with the high notes from Jesus Christ Superstar) at 8am.... he's happy.

But My Ds1 CAN and does sing, he has a gorgeous voice (does gigs) and he moved to Australia in February... and dear god I miss hearing him so so much. And I'd miss it even if he was tone deaf.

Just let him enjoy it... and get some ear plugs

Maybe 6am is a bit early, but perhaps he is always in a good mood because he is singing. I have a terrible voice, but used to sing to cheer myself up, even though I know I'm rubbish. I've stopped doing so over the last 15 years and am really much more sad now most of the time.