To think shop workers shouldn't be asking people why they aren't wearing a mask?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

My friend is epileptic. She can't wear a mask because it takes very little to trigger a fit, and wearing a mask creates too much of a risk. Over the last 2 days she's been asked in 3 different places (Greggs, Morrison's and the Co-Op) in an abrupt and snotty way "Where is your mask?" By staff. This is with lots of other customers around. She responded "I'm medically exempt" and has been asked why she's exempt in two of those places. She's also been told (online) that she should stay in to protect others and get someone else to do her shopping etc.

AIBU to think this is appalling ableist behaviour to put someone on the spot in front of others? She doesn't owe anyone her medical history. Yes there's sunflower lanyards she can pick up but she's apprehensive about wearing anything around her neck for obvious reasons. Why can't we just trust others that they're doing it in their best interests?

@LangClegsInSpace

Still banging on?

Still demanding my medical history.

Silly person. Stop it.

Still demanding my medical history.

Clearly not

Still not exempt if you can wear a face covering.

@LangClegsInSpace I think we should just let @DomDoesWotHeWants decide if she's exempt or not.

[quote SurreyHillsGirl]@Whichoneofyoudidthat
They’re not nosey, or self righteous. They’re doing their job

Exactly this ^

Shop assistant, "madam, where is your mask?"
Exempt person, "I am medically exempt"

Job done.

Really nothing to get worked up about but this is the world of MN, where everyone is perpetually professionally offended about some bollocks or other[/quote]
The problem is that, according to accounts on here, the question is being asked in a rude and abrupt fashion, and when the person with the disability replies that they are exempt, the shop worker does not always accept that answer, but asks for proof, or details about the reasons for the exemption, @SurreyHillsGirl - and quite rightly people don't want to have to disclose their personal, medical information, or discuss their rape-related PTSD with a stranger.

If the question were asked politely, and the answer accepted, I think people would be far less likely to be annoyed (or 'professionally offended').

If you had been raped with a hand over your mouth, and had PTSD as a result, that meant you couldn't wear a mask - would you want to discuss that in the middle of the supermarket, with anyone - never mind a total stranger??

Still not exempt if you can wear a face covering.

But if someone has to put it on for you then you are exempt.

What baffles me, and forgive me if it's been pointed out before, is where are all the nurses, HCA, care workers, porters, cleaners, medical receptionists, GPs etc who are loosing their jobs due to their physical inability to wear a mask?

I know quite a few medical staff and carers due to my role as a care worker and not a single one has been forced to leave their job because they cannot wear a mask, which is odd given that around 60% of the local population are medically exempt.

You could argue that the medically exempt wouldn't go for those jobs due to their inability to wear a mask but it would not be a valid argument since none of those roles had to wear a mask pre-covid.

And it is around 60% of the local population around here. It might less in other areas where it is socially unacceptable e.g people question you on your lack of mask, but here its not. I helped my friend out in her shop last night to cover staff holidays and more people were "exempt" than not.

I get that masks are unpleasant, honestly, I do.If you don't like walking around Asda in one in summer, try showering someone in one in an enclosed bathroom while also wearing a plastic coverall and latex gloves, but if we want this to work we have to at least try and you do get used to them after a while. I had a mild panic attack the first time I put one on which then triggered an asthma attack but due to the fact I can't afford to quit work I had to suck it up, take my inhaler and get on with it.

FruitLikeAPeach

Nothing to do with wearing a masks its do with customers being abusive to shop staff and thinking they can get away with it. Not for much longer

😥😥 For your friend. I have epilepsy and experience there barriers all the time. Hidden disabilities are the worst although they’re hardly hidden when you’re having a seizure on the floor. Sending much love and hope she gets it sorted. I agree a badge might be a good idea. Maybe a medi-alert bracelet. I have one of those. Feel a bit like a dog being tagged with my husband’s phone number but hey, needs must. Gotta have a sense of humour.

DarkMintChocolate

So shop workers are there for long periods and dont need to wear a mask. Social distance is guidance and not law. Customers going into a shop must wear a mask or not if exempt
You do not have to go into a shop if you dont like assistants not wearing a mask just order online. Simple

GlummyMcGlummerson

Customers can complain to a manager but if a shop worker is physically or mentally abused while at work they usually have to rely on a manager. This law what's coming in the worker can go straight to the police and make a complaint and the police will have to investigate it and not just rely the company to deal with it as what usually happens.

@Vivana

GlummyMcGlummerson

Customers can complain to a manager but if a shop worker is physically or mentally abused while at work they usually have to rely on a manager. This law what's coming in the worker can go straight to the police and make a complaint and the police will have to investigate it and not just rely the company to deal with it as what usually happens.

That's good, it if a shop assistant is ableist towards a customer it's reasonable to expect them to get some grief back. Same if they were sexist, racist or homophobic. You can't openly discriminate against customers then run to the police if you're challenged on it

@wanderings

Saint Boris knew from the start the mask law is window dressing, unenforceable and unworkable, and he probably knew the police would actually do nothing; maybe he even told police chiefs what to say. But I bet he also knew that certain members of the public would more than happy to “enforce” it; so that when it goes wrong, and disability discrimination happens, he can throw up his hands and say “nothing to do with me”. Just like he’s handled everything else, it’s all designed so he can say “not my fault”. All part of his strategy of divide and conquer, keeping the public distracted and squabbling with each other, so they’re not looking at him.

Exactly. He knows there are so many people falling over themselves to bully people over rules even those that don't exist he doesn't have to do anything.

@DomDoesWotHeWants

Still not exempt if you can wear a face covering.

But if someone has to put it on for you then you are exempt.

Correct, and if that's your situation you could have cleared up the misunderstanding pages back.

The only reason I'm going on about this is because there are rather a lot of people saying things like 'I'm exempt but I wear one anyway' or sometimes 'I have X condition so I'm exempt and I can wear one' - and this creates the idea in lots of people's minds that being exempt doesn't really mean you can't wear one and maybe people are just not trying.

Which is a problem.

That's good, it if a shop assistant is ableist towards a customer it's reasonable to expect them to get some grief back

It is no more ableist to ask "where is your mask" than it is to ask "where is your blue badge".

I do agree with the above that BoJo has deliberately made mask wearing an unenforceable farce to keep us plebs squabbling between ourselves but I still maintain that the vast majority of non mask wearing is due to non-compliance due to lack of proper enforcement rather than genuine medical exemption and I don't blame shopworkers for politely asking where people's masks are, particularly if they are working in areas of high non-compliance. Shop workers have as much right to a safe working environment as anyone else and masks will make it safer if they are used properly.

The infection rate is rising, admittedly mostly due to bad government choices such as opening pubs, and I don't know about you lot but I don't fancy spending Christmas in lockdown seperated from my family nor do I fancy working in a care home in lockdown over Christmas, so I'm hoping it will made enforceable soon and that those who are genuinely medically exempt will be issued with a blue badge equivalent for mask wearing. If that makes me a Nazi or whatever then so be it. I see first hand what lockdown is doing to our most vulnerable and I want it to stop. It is heartbreaking.

GlummyMcGlummerson

Nor can the customer think it's ok to abuse a shop worker. We have to uphold the law eg asking for I'd if thinking someone is underage and then getting abuse back as all the worker did was ask for identification.

It asking someone for ID isn't discriminating against a protected group. It's isn't going against government guidance

I wear the sunflower exemption card on a lanyard. Your friend needs somrthing visible. I feel 'safer' wearing the card because everyone can clearly see see it so there's no potential for unpleasant challenges or comments. Only once has anyone mentioned it and that was a friendly cashier asking what it said as she'd not seen one before.

Correct, and if that's your situation you could have cleared up the misunderstanding pages back.

No, I shouldn't have had to but you bullied it out of me. Well done. I hope you feel proud of yourself. Now I have to name change as I find this level of helplessness upsetting and embarrassing. And very identifying.

Government guidance is that people should not be routinely asked to provide written evidence of their exemption. There is no guidance that people should not be asked where their mask is.

@Bbq1

I wear the sunflower exemption card on a lanyard. Your friend needs somrthing visible. I feel 'safer' wearing the card because everyone can clearly see see it so there's no potential for unpleasant challenges or comments. Only once has anyone mentioned it and that was a friendly cashier asking what it said as she'd not seen one before.

I had exactly that. I was still challenged, aggressively, and told I had to put a mask on. I said I’m exempt. And she said I had to put one on. Said a second time. I’m exempt. And she sneered, curled her lip at me and said what is the nature of your disability.

I said. I don’t have to tell you that.

She then said. Get to the back of the queue.

I said. But I’m in the queue. And she said. Get to the back of the queue.

So I went to the back of the. Queue.

She served everyone else and made me wait and when I got to the front again and was Obviously close to tears she rolled Her eyes at me and said you need to wear a mask.

And I said I’m exempt. Can’t you see my lanyard and I showed her my card. On my sunflower lanyard.

And she rolled her eyes, and tutted at me. But she did serve me.

Not all shops know what the sunflower lanyard is and it's up to the companys to tell there staff what it stands for. It could mean anything. Shop workers dont go online looking at what different lanyard mean that's up to companys to inform there staff

Drumple

You should make a complaint that's disgusting what she did

I also had a laminated card on the lanyard saying I am exempt from wearing a fence covering. Thank you for your understanding. And it has a picture of a mask with a line through it. In red and black.

*have not had

This is what I was wearing