To think shop workers shouldn't be asking people why they aren't wearing a mask?

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

My friend is epileptic. She can't wear a mask because it takes very little to trigger a fit, and wearing a mask creates too much of a risk. Over the last 2 days she's been asked in 3 different places (Greggs, Morrison's and the Co-Op) in an abrupt and snotty way "Where is your mask?" By staff. This is with lots of other customers around. She responded "I'm medically exempt" and has been asked why she's exempt in two of those places. She's also been told (online) that she should stay in to protect others and get someone else to do her shopping etc.

AIBU to think this is appalling ableist behaviour to put someone on the spot in front of others? She doesn't owe anyone her medical history. Yes there's sunflower lanyards she can pick up but she's apprehensive about wearing anything around her neck for obvious reasons. Why can't we just trust others that they're doing it in their best interests?

The badge or lanyard are easily identifiable and will be acknowledged so to solve any issue, people exempt just simply wear one

Funny because I've seen multiple people on MN alone where their lanyards or badges have been completely ignored.

And you don't HAVE to wear a lanyard or a badge. You don't have to announce to the whole high street that you have a disability or medical exemption if you don't feel comfortable doing so.

@AlwaysLatte

The government has already announced that GP letters or card aren't needed for non-mask wearers. I know, but what I meant was that I think they SHOULD do this - it would be more helpful to those who aren't able to wear them and stop all the idiots who pretend they can't (I've seen some people do this).

How does this help the people who cannot wear one because it triggers their PTSD from past sexual abuse? This is sadly not at all uncommon and a huge number of survivors will never have disclosed it to anyone.

@FruitLikeAPeach

I don't get this, what difference does it make to anyone if someone explains their medical history to you. Does it protect you more? Or does it just satisfy your nosey curiosity.

No one should have to be made to walk around with a badge or sticker telling the whole shop that they suffer from a hidden disability. It really surprises me how many people seem to think that they should. It's no one's business.

Funny how none of us were wearing masks a month ago or during the peak and yet now it's all 'BUT WHAT ABOUT COVID, WHAT ABOUT MY SAFETY'.

Your friend doesn't have to explain her disability to anyone OP. The law is quite clear on this. She should not be bullied into providing strangers with a detailed account of her private medical history.

What is it with some people at the moment. It's like they've gone crazy, reporting neighbours, curtain twitching, demanding to know people's private information. Fucking ridiculous.

Funny how none of us were wearing masks a month ago or during the peak and yet now it's all 'BUT WHAT ABOUT COVID, WHAT ABOUT MY SAFETY'.

Because everything is changing, and now the medical experts are asking us to wear masks

its like, well we didnt need seatbelts, or proper car seats for babies, or which way up you should put babies to sleep to avoid SIDS

Do people really believe GPs have the time to sort cards and certificates for exempt people?!
How about we just let people decide for themselves when they have a condition and accept that there will be a tiny minority of piss takers, and just stick to social distancing?

For those against badges, do you also think we should do away with disabled parking badges and just trust that only disabled people will park there?

I think it's totally reasonable for a shop assistant to ask. I also think it's reasonable for them to have to accept if a person just says 'I'm medically exempt'. The government says you don't need written proof of exemption, not that a shop assistant can't politely enquire about whether you have a mask. A badge might help them not to be asked quite so often; the hysteria about badges being discriminatory is crazy. We're living in an unfortunate time and we are trying to stop lots of people dying of a horrible disease, which unfortunately takes precedent over the inconvenience of being asked.

If the shop assistant is aggressive or bullying that's another matter, but has to do with the individual bully who should be dealt with appropriately, and not the system of asking about masks as a whole. I see no problem with a simple- 'excuse me, do you have a mask with you you can wear? followed by 'no, I'm medically exempt', followed by 'no problem then, have a nice day'

I have seen people wearing clewr plastic visors instead of mask. Not ideal but still a face covering so should stop queries and not be round her neck.

She shouldn't be challenged for not wearing a mask but possibly a solution to make her feel more comfortable.

Your friend should wear the badge illustrating she’s medically exempt then no one will challenge her why she’s not following the law.

On this thread and others many people have stated that the lanyards and badges don't stop people challenging disabled non-mask wearers. I think people seriously underestimate the level of ableism in this country

@myhumps123

I keep hearing again and again that there are people that don't want to be muzzled, and to blame them when people because suspicious about all non mask wearers. Where are these people? Everytime I go shopping etc 99 percent of the customers are wearing masks. I don't wear a mask. I don't have a health condition, and technically I could wear one but I have a valid reason not too. I don't need to explain this to anyone. None of anyone's business. Bloody busybodies.

I also wonder where all these mask refusers are. I think in the entire time of compulsory mask wearing I've seen about three people not wearing masks. I haven't heard anyone making a fuss about masks or complaining about wearing one, both in person and on social media.

@DomDoesWotHeWants no it isn't irrelevant because if you can wear a mask you are not exempt and you have said you can. What your GP knows about your medical history is not relevant. The rules are the rules, dear.

@GlummyMcGlummerson anyone who thinks GPs have time for issuing exemption certs can't think anything else matters.

For those against badges, do you also think we should do away with disabled parking badges and just trust that only disabled people will park there?

You are comparing apples with oranges.

Blue badges allow disabled people to park with space and convenience and stop them getting ticketed. Blue badges allow parking on yellow lines, which non-disabled people can't do, to make life easier for disabled people.

A simple transaction in a shop as a customer is not something that is there to make life easier for disabled people. Everyone should have equal access to doing this no matter their disability status, and challenging them on even being there is being discriminatory. Blue badges are not discriminatory. It's a fundamental right of a shopper (provided they're not being abusive or disruptive) to be able to go into a shop and buy something without experiencing discrimination.

I see no problem with a simple- 'excuse me, do you have a mask with you you can wear? followed by 'no, I'm medically exempt', followed by 'no problem then, have a nice day'

Exactly this.

I don’t think people should have to wear a lanyard or produce a card, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be questioned upon not wearing a mask. The above conversation isn’t offence at all.

What SOS does your friend wear OP, does she wear a necklace or a bracelet? Perhaps she could just show that when she is challenged?

There is noting on it that will disclose her medical history, but it is proof that she has a medical condition.

In the co-op there is an announcement saying not all disabilities are visible and to be respectful of customers who may not be wearing a mask.

I think it's disgusting that people are seriously saying the disabled need to wear a badge to say why they are not wearing a mask. Are we in Nazi fucking Germany? The guidance is clear.

Im not wearing a mask any more. I was wearing them and they aggravated my asthma. Its a load of bollocks as they can do more harm then good when improperly used. Unless you get a sterile one each time (do u want to pay for that for me?) most people shove them in their glovey or pocket and reuse over and over, thus making them full of bacteria.

I have other reasons for not wanting to wear one. No, not because of conspiracy theories or being "muzzled", more because they remind me of an ex partner trying to strangle and suffocate me.

Im 6 weeks pregnant and my tolerance for bullshit is low right now. I really feel for all those who are avoiding shops because they are afraid of being challenged for not wearing one. I am happy to challenged. I double fucking dare someone to challenge me and i will politely and loudly explain the situation to all in earshot and then maybe in future they will mind their fucking business.

Im sorry this has really wound me up. Id be more amenable to the proposal of everyone wearing them in March / April when infection rates were high but its getting ridiculous now.

A man in sainsbury's was aggressively staring at me on Saturday because I didn't have a mask on. He literally followed me and thankfully I didn't feel intimidated at all, even though he was a lot taller than me. Later we crossed paths at the checkout and he violently coughed next to me. As I was heading out I looked back and gave him a smirk. Absolute tosser.

@QueenofmyPrinces

I see no problem with a simple- 'excuse me, do you have a mask with you you can wear? followed by 'no, I'm medically exempt', followed by 'no problem then, have a nice day'

Exactly this.

I don’t think people should have to wear a lanyard or produce a card, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be questioned upon not wearing a mask. The above conversation isn’t offence at all.

What SOS does your friend wear OP, does she wear a necklace or a bracelet? Perhaps she could just show that when she is challenged?

There is noting on it that will disclose her medical history, but it is proof that she has a medical condition.

Can you really not understand how it will be distressing for some people to be put on the spot about their disability? Especially if they have PTSD.

Also what does it actually achieve by asking? Going by this method, the assistant trusts what the person says. So perhaps just trust that there's a good reason for not wearing one?

I dont think people can get exemptions from masks in france or spain can they?

I dont think people can get exemptions from masks in france or spain can they?

But we're not in france or spain are we?

[quote countrygirl99]@DomDoesWotHeWants no it isn't irrelevant because if you can wear a mask you are not exempt and you have said you can. What your GP knows about your medical history is not relevant. The rules are the rules, dear.[/quote]
Patronising much? Bless.

Still don't get it do you?

I am exempt but choose not to be for a limited time. Not sure why you can't understand that. Comprehension not your thing?

I know others who are exempt for the same reason as myself but they also wear masks for limited periods to protect others.

Not sure why you are so enervated about someone trying to protect other people. Very odd. Or maybe you don't like being wrong.

Stamp your little feet all you like.

@GlummyMcGlummerson OP you are making a lot of sense but you made a mistake coming on mumsnet because mumsnet is known for being transphobic, racist and now from what I read, ableism. Mumsnet is only good if you want practical advice for getting out of an abusive relationship, but for anything else it's pretty shit

Also what does it actually achieve by asking? Going by this method, the assistant trusts what the person says. So perhaps just trust that there's a good reason for not wearing one?

Exactly. Anyone could say 'I'm medically exempt' so what's the point in even asking in the first place? It doesn't put you in a better position as a shop assistant and you shouldn't then go on to further question them on their exemption and why that is so why does it need to be asked at all?

If you are expected to take someone's word that they are medically exempt and not question them further (rightly so), surely we should just take people at face value when they don't wear a mask? Yes some people will not wear one when they should, people take the piss unfortunately, but those people will also just say they are medically exempt and move on so what difference does it make.

@FruitLikeAPeach apparently an assistant's right to know if a non-mask water had a "valid" reason, and simply taking their word for it, trumps the privacy and dignity of vulnerable people

@myhumps123 I suspect you're right

"She should, however, be sure for her own safety and others to socially distance herself from others."

Everyone should be doing that. You being a mask wearer doesn't mean you can stick your head right in someone's face.

I think there should be exempt cards that say on the reverse "fuck off you nosey cunt" to flash at members of the public who decide to challenge people.

The sunflower lanyard thing only seems to be a thing on here. None of my colleagues had heard of it.

As to masks - most people are complying with the law. A simple "are you exempt?" reminds those who forgot, a simple "yes" is fine as an answer.

Don't get the fuss really.
Almost as if people want "the government" to be really strict over something that does not really seem to need it in the real world.

Why do people want to be policed more? When was the last major outbreak linked to a shop?

@Spikeyball

I think there should be exempt cards that say on the reverse "fuck off you nosey cunt" to flash at members of the public who decide to challenge people.

That's a fabulous idea. I might even wear it as a lanyard or a badge!