not to want mil to buy ds a present when it is dd birthday

[Sunshine78]

It is my dd 1st birthday at the weekend and I've gone through 2 hour tantrums when I took my ds (3) to buy his sister a present and he didn't get one. I've had to keep telling him all week he can't unwrap her presents and play with them. I want him to learn its not all aboout receiving and sometimes you have to give. Then last nigh MIL calls to say shes got him a present so he doesn't feel left out . If I dont allow her to give it to him she will be in a mood the whole party and ruin that.

YANBU. I don't agree with unbirthday presents either.

My DD was born in February and my 3 DSs all in September. 2 share a birthday and the other is a week later. We always impressed on DD that she was lucky to have her own birthday and not have to share, while the boys all got lumped together.

My mum one year let one of the kids open the baby's xmas presents because "the baby doesn't know and it doesn't matter". Cue massive tantrum when interesting toy handed over to the baby... Didn't let grandma do that again.

I believe 3 is too young to fully understand the 'giving not receiving all the time' thing.

Think it's perfectly understandable why a 3 yr old might feel left out (in their mind).

I would let MIL give the pressie.

I got something for dd1 when it was dd2 birthday. She is 3 also.

3 is not too young. 3 year olds go to nursery and have to learn that they don't get everything they want there. They have to go in shops with their parents and understand they are not going to get sweets everytime. There is nothing wrong with not getting a present when it is not their birthday.

You meanies!

I'm lucky DS2 and DS3 share a birthday, born 2 years apart, so I never have this issue. Having said that, my best friend always did this for her daughters and I didn't really agree...but at the time we only had DS so I guess I didn't know what it was like. I don't get DS1 a present on DS's 2 and 3 birthdays A) because he is 9 years older than DS2 and B) because their birthday is the week before christmas (bad planning eh!

I don't really agree with this but I haven't had the experience so maybe I would change my mind.

he's far too young for this IMO I think your MIL is right and you're addressing this too early

understand it's other's birthdays comes naturally you don't need to force it like this