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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child screaming / tantrum

31 replies

Douglas1951 · 04/08/2020 01:37

I wqas woke from my sleep at 00:20 by the sound of a child having a tantrum / screaming the house concerned is across the road and five houses down so the child was really letting rip.
What do I do would hate to let child abuse go un reported?
but really do not know what to do. any suggestions

OP posts:
Original poster
Douglas1951 · 04/08/2020 01:38

Did not mean to add a vote button

OP posts:
KorkMum · 04/08/2020 01:39

Best to be safe than sorry.

SnuggyBuggy · 04/08/2020 07:21

Maybe night terrors or a nightmare? Does it happen often?

coffeeforone · 04/08/2020 07:24

My first thought would be night terrors. I don't think this would hit my radar to consider reporting unless I noticed anything else concerning.

labyrinthloafer · 04/08/2020 07:26

A child screaming doesn't mean anything one way or another, you can't report things with no evidence or suggestion of anything wrong!

Bluegeode · 04/08/2020 07:26

My child has some proper tantrums at times! It’s fairly normal and I can’t believe someone would consider reporting it?

Ohshitx · 04/08/2020 07:27

Does it sound like a tantrum? Or did it sound like a child upset?

You’d think sometimes my 6 year old was being murdered. But not at midnight.

Monstamio · 04/08/2020 07:33

Abuse wouldn't be my first thought either. Do you have other reasons for concern, op?

My daughter went through a period of suffering from night terrors and it was so frightening. She would be lying in her cot asleep but screaming and screaming. You're not supposed to wake them up, just soothe until they settle down. She had no memory at all of it the next day, though dh and I were very frazzled. She grew out of them pretty quickly thankfully.

My other daughter once woke up as a toddler screaming with an ear infection.

Do your know the family concerned, or is there a mutual neighbour who might?

Original poster
Douglas1951 · 04/08/2020 07:41

Thanks for your advice, you have practicle experience. my wife and I are childless.

I know the family and yes it was the first time.

I will talk to them.

OP posts:
Chocolateoo · 04/08/2020 07:58

Kids do that sometimes. I've been there and cringed hoping people dont think what you are. When my eldest gets in a state she is literally hysterical and we have to let her get on with it because you can't reason with her. She only does this once in a blue moon when she's overtired. But she's honestly good at sounding like she's being attacked. She's actually sat on her warm clean bed, with a drink and two parents telling her to calm down and go to sleep because she will feel better for sleeping. So perhaps consider that.

Also my two year old had night terrors after being on hospital last year. He was asleep and shouting out hysterically. He was also being comforted by me who just wanted to soothe him back out of it. From the garden it perhaps sounded like abuse again.

Don't judge. Unless the parents are swearing and threatening the child on a regular basis or you hear objects banging etc. But even remember it's not a crime of a frustrated loving parent raises their voice or swears after weeks of a difficult phase with a child.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/08/2020 08:02

Mind your own bloody business!!!! Sorry but you are completely ridiculous - a child cries once and you report them? Even speaking to them is a joke- it was one incident, I would be livid if you dare spoke to me when my 3 yr old was either having night terrors or teething. Do you honestly think social workers are so over paid and under worked they go out to a cry of a baby, and do you think parents need the added stress of a busy body!

AtTheWinchester · 04/08/2020 08:04

Child abuse Shock

If it was a regular thing then maybe but a one off? Get a grip.

Looneytune253 · 04/08/2020 08:06

I would leave it just now if you know them and it was a one off and have no other concerns. Honestly I don't think they've had a good night and if someone asks them about it they'll most likely perceive it as a complaint. Leave it be for now (unless you have other concerns)

Bluegeode · 04/08/2020 08:06

I also think it would be inappropriate to go and speak to them about it, they don’t need to explain every tantrum/night terror to you

seven201 · 04/08/2020 08:16

I don't think you need to speak to them. If you had other concerns then yes safeguarding, but a child tantruming in the night sometimes happens, as do night terrors.

My dd was a very screamy baby (had some health issues so was just in pain) and could be heard a few doors down even with the windows closed as a neighbour kindly pointed out. I was always worried someone might think we were not looking after her.

elephantfeels · 04/08/2020 08:19

Oh god. DS is 13 months and does this occasionally if he wakes up and wants us and we haven't got to him quick enough. The fact you would consider reporting is ridiculous children have tantrums, they cry and scream if they have a nightmare, if they are younger they cry and scream if they wake up and you're not there!
You don't have children so if you ever do please remember this conversation it's impossible to have a baby/young child that never cries (very loudly!) don't report it!

namesnamesnamesnames · 04/08/2020 08:25

That people think like this is horrifying to me, a parent of a child who I'm sure the whole road could hear a few nights ago.

RoseMartha · 04/08/2020 08:29

My dd screams anytime in the night hysterically if sees an insect on way to a loo visit. Is absolutely petrified. Or has a night terror. Or has a cold. If dd has a cold can scream up to five hours day or night. My dd has autism.

Almost every week I feel I have to apologise to neighbours.

Do you know if this child has SN?

FelicityPike · 04/08/2020 08:33

This was the first time this has happened and you want to speak to the parents about it?!
Also you think the child is being abused?!
Most likely a night terror or a nightmare.
I know we all need to be vigilant but jumping to conclusions much?

CeibaTree · 04/08/2020 08:35

@Douglas1951

Thanks for your advice, you have practicle experience. my wife and I are childless.

I know the family and yes it was the first time.

I will talk to them.

If it was a one off there's no need to talk to them about it is there?
BKCRMP · 04/08/2020 08:37

Why on earth would you jump to child abuse. It will be a nightmare/terror

EarringsandLipstick · 04/08/2020 08:40

No way can you or should you go talking to the parents.

There can be a myriad of normal reasons why a child would be screaming or upset, night terrors, as suggested already, being one.

Of course if you had other reasons to worry, you would report or take some action.

I can't even believe someone has to ask this.

HeyDuggeesCakeBadge · 04/08/2020 08:47

I'm surprised we haven't been reported to social services the amount of meltdowns my child has. They scream and scream its exhausting and makes me cry sometimes thinking of what people will think.

SkySmiler · 04/08/2020 08:54

Why do you need to talk to them?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 04/08/2020 08:57

Some of you are being ridiculous. Obviously if you hear child screaming at midnight from a house FIVE houses down the road so loudly it wakes you up, you would be concerned.

Op, I would be too. If it's not a common occurrence something could have happen so I get it. I would have a look out of the window and if anything seemed dodgy, called 101.