To ask how to be more elegant?

[AugustTime]

Elegance is something I find hard to define, but there are just certain women who have this elegance about them. I am not eloquent or observant enough to know what about them makes them elegant, they just are. I want to be more elegant. I have tried to be with things like manicured nails, styled hair, using good quality beauty products, etc. Yet I just don't have it.

So for those more elegant and/or knowledgeable than I, how can someone be more elegant?

P.S. I don't want to imply that I think that "elegance" is some kind of universal standard that all women should aspire to. All kinds of styles are wonderful in their own right.

I have the elegance of one of those ballerina hippos from Fantasia.

And after being the same way for almost 36 years I just (clumsily) roll with it.

Also there's some proper Victorian finishing school crap in this thread why can't we work more on embracing who we are, as we are?

I've always thought it has something to do with ironing clothes!

Oh wow I was going to ask the opposite question but I don’t know which category to post in? Any ideas?

Sorry @AugustTime for the mini hijack

NOT S&B @Blueeyedpixie

I'm another who did ballet (only for a short time however) and I have been called elegant. I think a lot of it is posture and I do think being slim helps? We used to practise walking across a room with a book on our head. I have been told my walk is very recognisable because I glide
I sound very Samantha whats-her-name , I'm really not.

always skirt!- I smile a lot - soft speaking

Why can’t you be elegant in a trouser suit?

As for “soft speaking”, I can’t think of anything less elegant than affected speech. Weird hushed voice is as bad as a phoney accent.

Oh don’t know any elegant ladies but polished? I think I prefer polished to elegant.

Nice hair, clothes, nails, makeup.

I think I used to be elegant as a teen but now I'm too fat...
I reckon: being slim, being tall is helpful, well-groomed - so sleek hair & minimal makeup, and also the way you move - that languid grace that dancers have, rather than sudden, clumsy/jerky movements.

My perception of elegance is a timeless simplicity to clothes, hair, jewellery.

So not necessarily following fashion, but wearing what suits you.

Long hair without a fringe, nicely conditioned (simple).

Jeans worn with classic cut t shirts or a navy jumper with a loose cut.

Expensive looking simple jewellery.

But not all so simple that it's twee or boring. There needs to be something sophisticated thrown in there, maybe the jewellery.

I have a really clear picture in mind but am struggling to describe it!

I have always been told by people (both friends and random people) that I look elegant and to this day I have no idea why or how. I personally feel like a scruffbag most of the time. Ok, I took make an effort to wear nice clothes and do have my hair coloured professionally but that's about it. I barely wear make up or anything expensive. A bit of lipstick if I am feeling myself on a particular day.

The most common answer to my question about what makes them think that is 'the way you hold yourself' and believe me I have no idea what they mean. This is not a brag by the way, I am just equally confused as to why people think that.

WTF does “soft speaking” mean?

@purpledaisies I always think of soft-speaking as Bernard Black's summer girl... Just dreamy voiced and wears a lot of florals.

I personally can be heard from the moon so definitely not a soft-speaking person

WTF does “soft speaking” mean?

People who adobt a whispering tone of voice, thereby forcing others to listen hard and giving them full focus. Something some consider posh, but isn't.

See Michael Jackson, demi moore.

I interpreted soft speaking as not loud and whiny.

Renee Zellweger is a prime example in interviews.

I do a lot of yoga. My posture has improved greatly over the years

I have all the physical compnonents described (minus posture) and I’m so not elegant. Would love to be!

So I think it’s a lot to do with great posture and innate confidence - ability to not look rushed / stressed

@giantangryrooster

WTF does “soft speaking” mean?

People who adobt a whispering tone of voice, thereby forcing others to listen hard and giving them full focus. Something some consider posh, but isn't.

See Michael Jackson, demi moore.

Spot on!

Ballet for sure! I had a student who was elegant, once. It was only when I looked over her UCAS application for her and noticed all the years of ballet that I realised why. Yoga and Pilates plump up the 'cushions' between your discs and give you core strength that helps with posture, too.