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Original poster

Are 4 year olds just The Worst or is it only mine?

69 replies

AngryFeminist · 03/08/2020 21:28

Seriously. Baby stage was knackering obviously but he was cute and squishy and portable; toddlerhood pissed me off a bit but there were naps; 3 was kinda cool. Nursery, cafe, playground, chill.

But now.

What hellbeast is this?!! I know lockdown has a fair bit to do with it, but he turned 4 only a couple of weeks ago and OH MY FUCK. This is what they said the 2s would be like. The constant CONSTANT noise. From ridiculously early morning wake-up to fractious night, the NOISE. Chattering. Questioning. Narrating. Demanding. 'I don't want to so thaaaat'. Screech. Repeat. Then the movement. Running. Jiggling. Climbing. Climbing my face. Roaring. Fidgeting. Knocking over of things.

I am so tired and ratty. I need space and silence. Tell me it ends someday. Please.

OP posts:
JuniperFather · 03/08/2020 21:40

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development

mrsBtheparker · 03/08/2020 21:42

I think whatever age they're at now is the worst, mine are 41 and 43!

pollylocketpickedapocket · 03/08/2020 21:53

I have a 4 yo, she is a beast! I adore her she is cute, funny, cheeky, clever, my pride in her is enormous.
But fuck she kills me- never still, never quiet, just looks at me and I know she is going to push boundaries and then some!
Nursery tell me she's an absolute angel and is "so good" "if we had 25 baby pollys we'd have the easiest job in the world"
Get her in the car and ( minutes later she is kicking off over something
I am hoping it's a phase, she is somewhat controllable if not tired, hungry or bored.
Went shopping with my mum the other day, all kids her age were trotting along nicely, mine was hiding in clothes rails, plonking herself on the floor and trying to climb up mannequins!
No advice, just glad I'm not the only one

Treaclepie19 · 03/08/2020 21:55

Oh my gosh yes. 4 has been the hardest so far. He's almost 5 and I'm hoping a switch flips 😂

Thurmanmurman · 03/08/2020 21:56

My adorable little boy never had tantrums, until he turned 4 and got major attitude! He's 8 now and a lot more reasonable but I really feel for you.

Lostinagoodbook · 03/08/2020 21:56

Constant noise...... yep we have that!!! Does.Not.Stop.talking ever. Even mutters in his sleep!! Intense but it's great fun too :-)

Whatthebloodyell · 03/08/2020 21:59

My 4 year old is HARD WORK. Lockdown has been much harder
On her than her older brother. She’s sleeping like shit and she is tired or hungry moray of the time.

itchyfinger · 03/08/2020 22:01

I have two of the buggers. Yes, they're a pain in the arse. Wine but I enjoy them more than when they were babies. For a start they can play independently or watch the ipad or get snacks themselves. So basically i can ignore them for a decent amount of time (before the screeching, questioning, demanding, nagging, fighting kicks in)

historygeek · 03/08/2020 22:02

Oh my god yes! And the sass?! Now, I am a secondary school teacher and expect to be given shit. But to have my 4 year old tell me he was "facing the other way so he didn't have to look at my horrible face" hurt a little I'll be honest!

mollypuss1 · 03/08/2020 22:04

My 4 year old is quite well behaved and sleeps great but she NEVER EVER shuts up. It’s mentally exhausting.

Colom · 03/08/2020 22:08

"But to have my 4 year old tell me he was "facing the other way so he didn't have to look at my horrible face" hurt a little I'll be honest!"

😂😂😂

Sailingblue · 03/08/2020 22:12

I’ve heard lots of people say 4 is hard. I think mine hit it early and was v challenging at 3y9m for a few months. We’ve had door slamming, tantrums, lots of swirling emotions, not listening. The child is an angel for everyone else though. I think we might be coming out of it as she seems to have calmed down a lot. The constant chat is here to stay though I think.

Colom · 03/08/2020 22:14

God OP please say it isn't so?! My eldest turns four this Friday and I've been looking forward to a magical switch flipping and her becoming a beautifully reasonable, pleasant child Confused

She's always been hard work and for the past two years or so I've combed through threads about when DC get "easier" and enough people said age four that I took it as fact in order to see an end in sight/save my sanity.

To think she could potentially get WORSE?! Shock

UrgentExitRequiredFella · 03/08/2020 22:15

Mine is all of the above and currently obsessed with death and dying! Endless questions about it, apparently it's quite a common thing?!

TitianaTitsling · 03/08/2020 22:17

This thread is my salvation!! Our 4 yo has hit the switch and the back chat! "Get out side mummy so l can lock you out in the rain"!

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 03/08/2020 22:17

Yep. I love my 4 year old obviously, would die for him etc etc... but he's a little dick at the moment. Constant noise, shouting, tantrums at the word no. Constantly asking for food like we're starving him (we're not). And he says quite hurtful things sometimes, usually directed at me. Lots of daddy's my best friend, boys only, no girls allowed. Which all sounds innocent but when its constant and I can't even sit next to my dp on the sofa without being told im not welcome, it hurts.

But my time will come. Probably when he needs help with his homework.

Sailingblue · 03/08/2020 22:18

UrgentExitRequiredFella We had that about 6 months ago. When are you going to die? Why is grandma not dead yet? The worst thing was she’d randomly ask old people when they were going to die.

Colom · 03/08/2020 22:23

UrgentExitRequiredFella mine is also obsessed with death at the moment. Her current favorite place to go is for a walk in a local graveyard where I have to tell her all the names of the "people who live under the ground" 🙈

She also has started going crazy when told no. Today when she didn't get her way she informed me, quite calmly, that she was going to knock over a full glass of juice that was sitting on the kitchen table. I told her not to and was getting up to walk towards her, when cool as a breeze she knocked it over, turned her nose up in the air and sashayed out the door... I thought it safer for both our sakes if I let her leave...

AnybodyOutThere1 · 03/08/2020 22:27

@Sailingblue

UrgentExitRequiredFella We had that about 6 months ago. When are you going to die? Why is grandma not dead yet? The worst thing was she’d randomly ask old people when they were going to die.
😫🙈 Mines just turned 3 and I'm dying to know when it gets better! Looks like I've got a bit more time yet!
pollylocketpickedapocket · 03/08/2020 22:34

@Colom

God OP please say it isn't so?! My eldest turns four this Friday and I've been looking forward to a magical switch flipping and her becoming a beautifully reasonable, pleasant child Confused

She's always been hard work and for the past two years or so I've combed through threads about when DC get "easier" and enough people said age four that I took it as fact in order to see an end in sight/save my sanity.

To think she could potentially get WORSE?! Shock

She'll be fine. I was VERY smug with my perfectly behaved 2-3 year old Wink
IckyPop · 03/08/2020 22:35

Just wait till they're 6 😡

TuckMyWin · 03/08/2020 22:38

Oh thank god. Mine is nearly 4 and I could have written this post. He's taken to slamming doors and stamping his feet. The foot stamping is cute and comical and incredibly fucking annoying all at the same time.

crumpet · 03/08/2020 22:38

It’s not called the Fucking Fours for nothing...

Siameasy · 03/08/2020 22:40

The summer before she started school my DD was awful. Deliberately attacking me and her younger cousin. Refusing to do things and I then ended up stuck in a cycle of negativity as I was constantly criticising her. I introduced a reward jar using pom poms which eventually helped.
She’s 5.5 now and currently Uber whinge/emotional/hitting/on the attack so I feel I have done nothing but shout today

TuckMyWin · 03/08/2020 22:44

Funny you should say that @Siameasy. We introduced a reward jar with pasta a while back for him and his older brother (probably around the time his older brother was four.... 🤔) but had let it lapse. I got it out today to try to get through dinner in a less shouty way and it did help.