Are 4 year olds just The Worst or is it only mine?

[AngryFeminist]

Seriously. Baby stage was knackering obviously but he was cute and squishy and portable; toddlerhood pissed me off a bit but there were naps; 3 was kinda cool. Nursery, cafe, playground, chill.

But now.

What hellbeast is this?!! I know lockdown has a fair bit to do with it, but he turned 4 only a couple of weeks ago and OH MY FUCK. This is what they said the 2s would be like. The constant CONSTANT noise. From ridiculously early morning wake-up to fractious night, the NOISE. Chattering. Questioning. Narrating. Demanding. 'I don't want to so thaaaat'. Screech. Repeat. Then the movement. Running. Jiggling. Climbing. Climbing my face. Roaring. Fidgeting. Knocking over of things.

I am so tired and ratty. I need space and silence. Tell me it ends someday. Please.

Oh god my 5 yr old is still at it.
Never still and her mouth never ever ever stops talking, singing, chuntering.
She goes to the toilet and carries on chattering on her own in the bathroom.
I put her in her car seat and as I close the door she’s still talking and just continues as I walk around the car so I open my door and she’s still yabbering.
Too busy talking to eat so meal times are a constant “shhh. Eat. Pick up your fork. Shhh. Stop talking and EAT!!!”
And the back chat.
Really quite pleased to be working a 13hr shift overtime tomorrow and leaving DH to it.

@UrgentExitRequiredFella yep us too - for a while there he was dreamily asking 'are we going to die today?' just before bedtime...

Thank you all, brave warriors. I am really not covering myself in glory parenting-wise here - shouty, pissy, zero fun. I wonder if it's like the ready-for-school age version of what they say about teens? That it's evolution's way of making us just fine with them going away?

I have 2 as well....

They fucking tag team. It's either one being vile or the other. I pinch myself of there's not tears by 10am....

Oh and what IS IT with them behaving so well at nursery? Or are nursery gas lighting us for shits and giggles?

Mind you... I DID go back to work today, and they were falling over themselves to tell me how beautiful my dress was, and your hair mummy and your make up, we missed you mummy....

Sniff....

Little shits 😩😭

@colom I think maybe this is payback for us having a reasonably easy ride of the 2s and 3s, so you'll probably find the reverse!

4yo here and im drinking gin by 9am lmao x

4 year old here too, goes through phases of death obsession, asking nana if she's going to die the next day etc, and when will grandpa die?

Then there are the tantrums when she doesn't get her own way or when whatever she's doing goes wrong in her opinion/I do or draw something wrong/the paper rips/she decides she's just going to be grumpy.

At the moment she's getting up in a hideous mood in the mornings which isn't fun and when I ask her why she's so grumpy she just says "I don't know why, I JUST AM!"

She hits, spits, growls, stamps, shouts, huffs and puffs. And that's not just in the mornings....

Sometimes she petulantly tells me to "get rid of daddy"

Love her to bits

DS2 is 4 next month and we have just got into the stroppy/backchat phase. The non-stop talking has been going on for a year or so.

Today I asked him to sit properly at the table and eat his dinner and got the response "I don't want to mummy, so tough luck". We've had a challenging bedtime this evening as well...

4 is the most difficult age I’ve face (although my eldest is only 7)

I remember being so smug as my eldest was a dream baby, he slept through, he weaned great, he had no terrible twos, he had no tantrums at three, then four happened and BAM - he started spitting, hitting, answering back. He just required constant, constant disciplining and it was exhausting. Thankfully he learnt quickly that I follow every consequence through but it was a difficult few months.

My four year old told me this morning that I need to get back to the gym

They don't call it the Fucking Fours for nothing, OP.

Oh God, I’ve found my people. I adore my four year old but she can be so so bloody difficult lately.

In fact, I just posted for advice in parenting so do feel free to pop over and offer some advice!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/3986103-What-do-you-do-when-your-four-year-old-misbehaves

I’m dreading her starting school because, while I think she’ll get on brilliantly there, I think she’ll be an exhausted, emotional anti-Christ the rest of the time.

Place marking for tomorrow because I have found my people. I can confirm that attempting to discipline a sassy four year old with one boob hanging out while balancing a baby on your knee is futile. You’re welcome.

The worst thing I find is that mine is a mini-me that echoes my worst qualities revved up. For example she is doing a very grumpy ‘uh fine’ which she has got from me but she says it with much more venom and exaggerated arm expressions than I do. I can’t really blame her as she got it from mf in the first place.

Mine has suddenly started doing endless questions. It’s very hard not to reply sarcastically to ‘why are you here mummy?’ asked repeatedly when I walk into a room. Another favourite one is ‘how did you get here?’. And ‘but whhhhhy?’ He’s into the deep questions of life!

I have a 4 year old and OMG she is driving me to insanity at the moment. I lost my shit yesterday. Rude, cheeky, not listening, noisy and don’t get me started in the mess she makes.
My DS at 4 was a delight in comparison.

I love 4! 2 was tantruming hell on earth, he gets better as he gets older

Oh no. Mine is four in September and she's already like this, I was hoping it would get better.

She's fine if you constantly kowtow to her greatness, the minute you need to do something else she's wrecking the place. You never know if she's playing quietly in her room or climbing the toilet to get the toothpaste to paint the walls with.

And the chatter... and the 'Mummy.....' that she just leaves hanging.

She has pretend tantrums if you tell her bedtime/stop/no (I ignore but seriously - when does this end?). The ungratefulness! 'Mummy, I said I wanted a SQUARE piece of cheese' (no she didn't).

Gone from happily sleeping at Grannies to being brought home at 10pm because she won't sleep the past 3 times (I mean, I think GPs need to get tough, and are fuelling the fire, so no more attempts now).

She forces me to shout, like, it's the ONLY way she'll listen sometimes, and I hate shouting.

She's better at nursery but we still have days where she's not been listening to them either.

DD is 5.5, been harder work since she turned 3.5. Constant questions, demands, requiring entertaining and constant wanting me to play 12hrs a day, having an opinion on everything we do and where we go. Baby stage was easy in comparison for me. She craves company now, and is an only child which has been hard for lockdown. Depends on the child too. But I hear you!

I found almost 4-5.5 really hard.
They want to be independent but actually can’t do everything they think they can and sooo many feelings.

5.5-6 and a half was great.

6.5 back to being a pain in my arse.
(It’s also been a really weird last 6 months so I’ll give her a break)

When dd1 was 4 it made me realise why some animals eat their young. (Because animals are smarter than us and it means no one is talking at you)

In the last month my 4 year DD has turned into a tantruming devil. She can be on her own in her room and still have one. Locked me out of the house last week because I told her off and she said she didn't want to see me. I'm hoping once she starts school and is back into a routine they might ease off.

We actually had a compulsory module on Child Development at secondary school (foreign) and I remember they dwelled at some length on the stubbornness of 4-year-olds. They did hold out hope for more compliance at age 5, though.

@whoisjoe mine is an only as well (sort of, I'm 31 weeks tomorrow) and it definitely shows. He wants constant company 😴

Am so glad this thread is here! There's one on aibu about a poster wanting to cancel a holiday because of how her older child is being led astray by a 4yo, lots of posters saying how awful the 4yo is and terrible mother. Would have had me rather stressed were it not for this thread!

Ah yes the fucking hell fours.Its fuck me fives after that 🙂

Hello comrades. Hope you are all hanging on better than me today.

@Sailingblue this might actually be the worst thing- I hear my exact peak-exasperation tone coming out of him too.

@Frlrlrubert I really hate shouting too, and managed not to really up til now. I've probably shouted more in the past 2 weeks than the rest of his life! And I used to be a teacher! Why do none of the tricks work...

@grissomsbugs she locked you out of the house? Oh my life. Have

@Mypathtriedtokillme I think there's something in what you say about the disparity between how independent they want to be and how independent they can be. I guess it's just the latest cycle of boundary-pushing that comes with any new developmental stage but it's always such a shock when it rolls around again jus taste you think you're on top of things!