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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report elderly driver

30 replies

Propercrimboselecta · 03/08/2020 09:09

There's an elderly man who lives at the other end of the road. I've seen him bumping curbs a LOT, reversing in to bins that end up falling over (big green wheelie bins), nearly hit a car when reversing this morning because he wasn't looking.
There's a primary school at the end of the road on a busy corner, often a lot of traffic moving and children stepping out, so a lot to watch out for.

WIBU to report him for unsafe driving? I feel bad but it could be a child rather than a bin.
Or am I being over dramatic?

OP posts:
FruitLikeAPeach · 03/08/2020 09:11

No you are not being unreasonable. There is an elderly gentleman who lives on our road and I am considering doing the same after he bumped my car when parking for the 2nd time. Like your neighbour, he often bumps curbs, bins, others cars and parks at really dramatic angles, half on curb off on road etc... I feel sad for him but it wouldn't surprise me if it were a person before long. His car is absolutely covered in scratches and dents.

FruitLikeAPeach · 03/08/2020 09:11

Half on road**

BedknobsNoBroomsticks · 03/08/2020 09:12

If it was me I would have to report it. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't and he hit a person. Not sure if the police or DVLA can do anything though. I know the last time I saw a TV program about this it was up to the person to make the decision for themselves.

llangollen11 · 03/08/2020 09:14

A friend of my dad continued driving too long. Died in a road accident aged 82. My dad thought they had stopped driving (they lived miles away) and was shocked.

Please report the driver, perhaps to save their life.

Spied · 03/08/2020 09:18

Imagine how you'll feel if they kill someone.
Imagine how they will feel.
Reporting them is the kindest thing all round.

PersonaNonGarter · 03/08/2020 09:20

Please please please report.

This devastating tragedy could have been avoided if people had stepped in.

Marriedtoapenguin · 03/08/2020 09:20

If they can't realise they are no longer safe to drive, then they do need reporting.

Better that than they find out by getting into a bad accident.

EL8888 · 03/08/2020 09:22

Another vote to report. They sound dangerous to me!

noworklifebalance · 03/08/2020 09:26

I know someone who was killed when an elderly driver hit them. Their toddler instantly lost a parent and will have no living memory of fhem.
YANBU.

Yo

User87471643901065319 · 03/08/2020 09:27

Tbh, I would go (wearing mask) and speak to the driver, gently and kindly, and tell him I had seen these things on a frequent basis and express concern that he could hit a child next. I would mention that we don't always realise our vision declining. I would tell him that I feel compelled to (so am going to report it) but wanted him to know why so that he realises it comes from a place of concern rather than someone being malicious.

It would be an awful shock for him to have a communication from someone in authority so I would be mindful of that.

noworklifebalance · 03/08/2020 09:28

(Not sure where the “yo” came from)

RandomUser3049 · 03/08/2020 09:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

RandomUser3049 · 03/08/2020 09:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 03/08/2020 09:32

I live in a town with a significant elderly population. Some of them are hideous drivers and they often have huge fancy cars. I've had to hop away from the kerb a few times as an old man who can barely see mounts it. Please report; too many people have been killed or hurt by kerb-mounters!

KonTikki · 03/08/2020 09:35

I told the son of an elderly neighbour that he should stop driving after knocking a lamp post over in our road.
Lots of young children playing there.
Luckily the son, being a local MP, had to take it seriously and sold his dads car, end of his driving.
I know that was the right thing to do in the circumstances.

Poppyismyfavourite · 03/08/2020 10:05

yup do it
My gran was driving with cataracts (had 20% vision) and took ridiculous circuitous routes to avoid turning left (in europe) becaus "it's too hard". She was actually very dangerous and I told my Dad! It was the push she needed to get her cataracts done, and now she still drives but only down the road to the shop.

Our car door was taken off by an old man the night before the night before our wedding, he thought it was hilarious "oh haha that's the third time this month"... needless to say I was not impressed!

81Byerley · 03/08/2020 10:07

Years ago, my ex husband watched our elderly neighbour trying to get his car out of his garage. The wheel was turned to the right, so he was repeatedly hitting the garage walls as he wasn't adjusting the wheel, just kept reversing then going forward. Eventually my ex said "Can I help you, Walter?" Walter was relieved, so my ex told him to go in and get a cup of tea. He then drove the car into our drive and took the key to Walter's wife and told her Walter shouldn't be driving. She said to Walter "81 needs a car, so I've given her ours, is that OK?" He said, "Of course, if she needs one. That's fine". My ex sold it for them. It was horrifying really, Walter had been teaching his wife to drive. That day we found out that his dementia was so bad, he could no longer sign his name.

divafever99 · 03/08/2020 10:08

Please report, that wheelie bin could have been a small child. My 87 year old gran had recently taken the decision to stop driving, following an accident where she "didn't see" a car right in front of her. Fortunately nobody hurt, but it could have been a lot worse. You can contact the DVLA anonymously.

81Byerley · 03/08/2020 10:09

You should definitely report it. It's sad, but we all come to a time in our lives when we have to give up things we love, including driving. This is for his safety as well as that of other people.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/08/2020 10:13

If he was 25 you’d have no qualms about reporting him. Why is it different because he’s elderly. He’s clearly a huge liability and danger on the roads. As you say imagine if that bin had been a child

leftovercoffeecake · 03/08/2020 10:13

Definitely report. I know it’s sad for someone to lose their license, but it’s much sadder for an innocent person to lose their life because of dangerous driving.

contrmary · 03/08/2020 10:16

Maybe speak to his family or him directly rather than go down the police route.

Remember that as an elderly driver he is much less likely to go to prison if he kills someone through careless/dangerous driving than if a 17 year old does.

Shaunthesheep34 · 03/08/2020 10:18

You have to email the dvla regarding unsafe drivers. I work in a petrol station and we had an elderly gentleman nearly crashing into our pumps ( he was a regular , in twice a week) quite often, nearly running customers over, fell out the car quite a few times we had to help him up, very unsteady on his feet, struggled to count money , very forgetful,We took his registration and phoned the police but were told to email the dvla with all details. We did this as we were so concerned he was going to potentially kill someone.We never saw him again and I'm not even sure if hes still alive or not. I know we did the right thing.

Tiredmum100 · 03/08/2020 10:21

Yanbu. Report him, as horribel as it is, you might save a life.

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