To ask how do you know which things are 'tacky/common'?

[TheHydrangeas]

On here I sometimes see certain items, behaviours, homeware, fashion, makeup, etc classed as "tacky" or "common". Sometimes I can understand it, but other times it is things that seem pretty innocuous. Despite this you see this kind of unanimous belief that those things are "common". However I can't really find an underlying pattern to what is deemed to be tacky/common and what is not. Is there any kind of theme or pattern to this? One example is I remember reading a thread where a pretty popular brand of scented candles were classed as tacky.

I also want to say that I am not trying to portray other users negatively as judgemental or anything, we are all entitled to our opinions. I am just interested from a broader point of view - how do certain things become tacky or common?

I was always fuming when parents smoked when they walked their children up to school and then stood outside the gates smoking. Even though I would have a crafty fag at the weekend.

@MrsMayo

I was always fuming when parents smoked when they walked their children up to school and then stood outside the gates smoking. Even though I would have a crafty fag at the weekend.

Well, technically it was the parents who were fuming

Zhampagne

I find Yankee candles disappointing because they sometimes smell artificial. I don't mind the fresh linen one. I'd never shun them because they were "common" or "tacky" though, that woildnty put me off, it would make me more likely to buy it as a two fingers to the British class system. If I liked them I would have them.

This is a big point of difference between me and dh though. I am well educated and well-read and can see the merit of good quality etc. But I also like to take things as they are, and so can enjoy tacky and common things as well.

Sometimes I long for a simple life where dh wasn't so constrained by the "right" things, and was a bit more open-minded and flexible. I get so bored of his judgement on certain things being too proletariat for his taste. 🙄

I long to be free to go on a package holiday to Spain, or a weekend in Butlins in Skegness, live in a (bigger) non-period home, or to buy a laz-y-boy tasteless leather recliner chair. Just to live without being so goddamn obsessed with good taste.

I can see why most people marry someone from a similar background.

@FlamedToACrisp

*Lords and duchesses don't flaunt things they own, because they don't need to try to impress anyone.
*
Not sure if it's still there but when we went to arundel castle, the earl of arundel had a fountain that was basically a vertical spout of water with a gold crown balanced on top. Tackiest thing I ever saw. Bet Donald trump would love one

What a very odd/sad post, Cloudspotter. Who on earth is he trying to impress? He sounds more like an insufferable snob than an artbiter of good taste.

Arbiter

@Thisismytimetoshine

Yes, I can imagine it sounds sad. Every time I post anything on here about my relationship with DH I seem to get dreadful comments back. 😬

Perhaps I'm the problem in the sense that I'm obviously too insecure to take charge and ignore the judging and criticism.

@PatriciaPerch

I like yankee candles and I could not give one ounce of crap whether any of you think I am common or not! :o

Please adopt this attitude because it honestly serves you well
I have worked supporting struggling families for years, some well off, some not and a lot in between. None of them are common, rough, tacky or lofty or whatever is. They are just human beings, all you judgers need to get over yourselves and maybe acknowledge you are part of the problem for heavens sake

Lots of love

Mary's granddaughter x

😍😍😍

[quote Cloudspotter]@Thisismytimetoshine

Yes, I can imagine it sounds sad. Every time I post anything on here about my relationship with DH I seem to get dreadful comments back. 😬

Perhaps I'm the problem in the sense that I'm obviously too insecure to take charge and ignore the judging and criticism.[/quote]
Sorry, I didn't intend that to sound bitchy. But I do think it's a dreadful way to live, particularly when it's not even your actual choice.

Argh, you know how you make compromises in life, to keep it all on the rails.

Then you have to evaluate those compromises every so often.

😥

⭐I like yankee candles and I could not give one ounce of crap whether any of you think I am common or not! grin

Please adopt this attitude because it honestly serves you well
I have worked supporting struggling families for years, some well off, some not and a lot in between. None of them are common, rough, tacky or lofty or whatever is. They are just human beings, all you judgers need to get over yourselves and maybe acknowledge you are part of the problem for heavens sake

Lots of love

Mary's granddaughter x⭐
Best post

IMO. My neighbours kitted out Range Rover. My sister in law's Perspex Christian Lamboutins. My son's Prada trainers. My friends daughters orange fake tan. My high black gloss American fridge freezer. To name a few.

Hi Cloudspotter, you sound lovely. He sounds a bully.

I'm finding it interesting reading the comments about what mothers and grandmothers considered common.

My mum was brought up in a slum, absolute dire poverty, it took her years to climb out of it.
She's always treated everyone she's ever met as an equal. It doesn't matter if you're a tramp or an Earl, no one is beneath her or above her, she will make you all feel welcome in her house, no judgements.
As I've got older I've realised I've met very, very few people with the same belief, that everyone should be, and is, treated equally, it's quite a skill really.

@SecretWitch 👍 I did have to look it up though, I remembered the great minds but not the rest.

@OneEpisode

There are some great art (that pig!) tv and book recommendations on this thread. I do value Mumsnet as a place where we can all be funny and clever and rude (and of course sometimes unfunny and not clever).

Mumsnet is under attack from men’s rights activists, often discussed as activists for another protected characteristic.

Py and N* would both be fodder, as they relate to a legally protected characteristic (race), and could be easily found on an automated advanced search. And used to shut this site down.

Even if, for example, in quoted song lyrics, quoted literature.
I missed the p post, so I don’t know the context, but regardless Mumsnet need to protect themselves and will delete fast, even the best intentioned post.

I genuinely can’t figure out what those words are. Could someone pm me to fill in the blanks?

@SadiePurple that’s lovely; I would like to think I treat everyone equally but I’m pretty sure I’m actually a judgemental arsehole.

Not as bad as my own mum though!

@Cloudspotter I hope you find peace it is very difficult to live with a negative person.

[quote Aria999]@FlamedToACrisp

*Lords and duchesses don't flaunt things they own, because they don't need to try to impress anyone.
*
Not sure if it's still there but when we went to arundel castle, the earl of arundel had a fountain that was basically a vertical spout of water with a gold crown balanced on top. Tackiest thing I ever saw. Bet Donald trump would love one[/quote]
I had to google this, and it is spectacularly blingy! The Duke of Norfolk obviously knows how to flaunt it...

Hi Threeoleary sorry other posters have pointed out that my posts are veering off topic and have to be “read sideways”. Apologies all.

The “n word” wasn’t on the thread at all and was me extrapolating only.

Lucy Worsley OBE, a (White, female) historian, has made a BBC program called “American History’s Biggest Fibs”. This covered the history of slavery and a speech by Abraham Lincoln. Confederacy supporter John Wilkes Booth was them quoted saying “that means n**r citizenship. By God, that’s the last speech he will ever make.” The assassination followed.
Does that help. Many newspapers have covered all the apologies In the last few days, because Lucy quoted In full, and didn’t pronounce the asterixes.
I didn’t see the deleted post, but the opposite word to the “p word” I am thinking of is “gorgers”.

@SadiePurple

I'm finding it interesting reading the comments about what mothers and grandmothers considered common.

My mum was brought up in a slum, absolute dire poverty, it took her years to climb out of it.
She's always treated everyone she's ever met as an equal. It doesn't matter if you're a tramp or an Earl, no one is beneath her or above her, she will make you all feel welcome in her house, no judgements.
As I've got older I've realised I've met very, very few people with the same belief, that everyone should be, and is, treated equally, it's quite a skill really.

That's the ultimate sign of class, actually.

Lords and duchesses don't flaunt things they own, because they don't need to try to impress anyone. How many subtle modest castles and palaces have you visited lately? 😂😂 It's so funny how the upper classes have you lot fooled that they are not ostentious - they are skint that's why they ain't splashing the cash. They continue of course to need to impress - but not the plebs - they need to impress their betters and equals - everyone else is invisible.

I went on holiday to Munich a few years ago and went on a guided tour of Linderhof Palace. It was the tackiest thing I'd ever seen - we're talking entire rooms covered in gold. King Ludwig II did not have very good taste.

Btw why do people on here look down on Lindt? Is Lindt common? I love the stuff.