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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how do you know which things are 'tacky/common'?

970 replies

TheHydrangeas · 01/08/2020 19:37

On here I sometimes see certain items, behaviours, homeware, fashion, makeup, etc classed as "tacky" or "common". Sometimes I can understand it, but other times it is things that seem pretty innocuous. Despite this you see this kind of unanimous belief that those things are "common". However I can't really find an underlying pattern to what is deemed to be tacky/common and what is not. Is there any kind of theme or pattern to this? One example is I remember reading a thread where a pretty popular brand of scented candles were classed as tacky.

I also want to say that I am not trying to portray other users negatively as judgemental or anything, we are all entitled to our opinions. I am just interested from a broader point of view - how do certain things become tacky or common?

OP posts:
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15
Theoldwrinkley · 03/08/2020 19:18

I think if it is ostentatious, it is tacky. A place near us is v posh. A number of houses have beautifully mown lawns at front of million-pound houses (usually with the white plastic chain slung between posts) at front of house. Those people have ‘loads-o-money’. Other houses in the same area have a wooden gate, and then the drive turns just inside the gate to what I assume is a substantial property, but all behind trees and shrubs. They have ‘real’ money.

AattA934 · 03/08/2020 19:24

I always think would joanna lumley have it lol I said it to my mum today when looking at kitchens lol

rvby · 03/08/2020 19:29

@Alabamawhirly1

And yet again, good old Queen Liz is blazing the way in the 'tacky' / 'common as muck' stakes with her RR.... grin That and her gold piano.

I think you might have missed the point. Queenie drives a farmer type RR in the country because that's what they're intended for.

The Boycey's of this world picked RR's as "classy" because Queenie drives one. Only they drive theirs round Essex, in dazzelling bright white with all the mod cons - thinking they're now just as classy as the Queen, and that they must have really good taste to get the same car as the upper class.

This is such an hilarious post. You have just explained class snobbery as if it is the most logical thing in the world Grin !! When the explanation itself is unadulterated, brutal, utterly subjective snobbery.

How dare someone drive a car around Essex feeling happy and fulfilled. How very dare they! Thinking themselves anything but common as muck, not paying any mind to the twitching curtains and outraged mutterings of their MC neighbours. The very idea [shakes fist] where is their shame, etc

Lollll

Colom · 03/08/2020 19:29

I drive a Range Rover, didn't realize it was seen tacky Blush. We live in the sticks on a farm and they're fairly common here but I've never laid eyes on a white one... anyone I know with one has a dairy farm/horses so most are mucky all the time and white would be very impractical.

Coronapip · 03/08/2020 19:30

It's just in my DNA, dahling....!

But, never forget. If you are a true, warm hearted, honest, sincere person - 'class' (and all that stuff) means absolutely ZERO. It's in what you really value that the test of you resides.

And I don't mean pricey brand names.

jessstan2 · 03/08/2020 19:33

I've never seen a white range rover. My husband drove range rovers for years because he had to drive to sites in the country that had unmade roads and lots of mud; it was practical.

A white one would soon show the slightest splash of mud, you'd be forever at the car wash.

Zhampagne · 03/08/2020 19:33

@ReceptacleForTheRespectable

It's interesting that, of all the small minded, snobbish, nasty posts on this thread, the one above (which wasn't sneering at others, as the pejorative was directed only at themselves, as far as I could see) is the only one I've seen deleted.

So calling other people "chy" is fine, but calling yourself "py" isn't? I think they're both awful words, but it's good to know where MN stands. Hmm

Although there are some who use both words as synonyms the word beginning with ‘p’ is widely considered to be an ethnic slur.
MrsMayo · 03/08/2020 19:34

I want to see photo's non matchy living rooms, I must be so common as I have curtains that has several colours in but one of the colours matches my sofa AND I have a scented candle in the same colour.

MrsMayo · 03/08/2020 19:36

I've never seen a white range rover

The young man who owns one of our village shop has one with a private number plate on. Grin

WhatevsTrevs · 03/08/2020 19:36

People like what they like. People who judge and/or look down on others for their likes and dislikes and view other people as common or their likes as tacky, are not the kind of people I’d want to be around, no matter what they do or don’t earn, or wear, or have in their home, or drive...etc

Meangallery · 03/08/2020 19:38

People on here are snobby about old money, new money, real money...why does it matter it's all the same. If someone buys something that makes them happy because they feel validated, why would you deny them that experience like they are lessor. My brother always has a top of the range RR, buys a new one nearly every year - it makes him feel normal - he can't walk, is it ok for him to buy one when he isn't lord of the manner or is that worth slagging him off for? The moments he spends in his car when no one knows or thinks less of him because he can't stand up? Does it matter whether he buys it on a lease or pays for it cash in hand? I've never asked - never thought it mattered, it's all earned though through hard graft - no easy inheritances, no handouts - no idea why being just handed money by your parents is classy (old money) and working for it isn't (new money, tacky and common) - doesn't make much sense to me.

MrsMayo · 03/08/2020 19:41

Well I think there is such a thing as too matchy, but what do I know?

I do get this.

derxa · 03/08/2020 19:42

I must be so common as I have curtains that has several colours in but one of the colours matches my sofa AND I have a scented candle in the same colour. Hang your head in shame. Grin

Fimofriend · 03/08/2020 19:48

Weirdly enough, I feel that being a snob is very common and tacky. Prince Joachim of Denmark is a snob and I found his snobbishness to be common and tacky even when he was number 2 in line for the throne.

Averyyounggrandmaofsix · 03/08/2020 19:56

I think the Royals have some kind of a deal with Range Rover. Is that a bit tacky? 🤔

sleepingpup · 03/08/2020 19:59

Katie Price had a pink RR. Just saying.

RoyEastmannKodak · 03/08/2020 20:02

Lol I love Yankee candles but I’m too poor to afford them so I buy the cheap, copy cat brand from Home Bargains. God only knows wtf that places me on the tacky/common scale. Somewhere far off the wrong end of it no doubt!! Grin

VinylDetective · 03/08/2020 20:13

@sleepingpup

Katie Price had a pink RR. Just saying.
Chris Evans has got on, number plate FAB 1. It passed me on the M4 once.
Gmom · 03/08/2020 20:15

I've never used the word "common". The first time I heard it I'd just moved to England and met a woman who told me my husband's name was "common" and when I said "yes it was very popular in the 70s" she explained that she hadn't meant common as in "frequently found" but as in "low class." How would I have known this without a nasty woman explaining it to me? Sadly I've lived in the UK long enough that now I find myself always picking up on class signifiers in people's clothes/cars/language/names etc which is what "common" is about so I could use the word properly if I wanted to. I think I learned to distinguish class from the media rather than from people I know.

I recommend All In The Best Possible Taste with Grayson Perry a 2012 Channel 4 documentary that analysed the taste of UK social classes.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 03/08/2020 20:15

Although there are some who use both words as synonyms the word beginning with ‘p’ is widely considered to be an ethnic slur.

It's not a word I'd ever use (my family has a traveller background on one side, so definitely not!), but is it any better to sneer at someone for being 'lower class' than for being a certain ethnicity?

Cheryl Cole was called 'white trash' earlier in the thread, and when I looked a few minutes ago that comment was still there (reported now).

I do think that calling someone else a [insert unpleasant pejorative here] is worse than using a similar word to describe yourself. It doesn't make the word any better, but at least the bile isn't directly aimed at others. Other people may disagree of course.

Tbh though, I'm mainly here to laugh at the forelock-tuggers. Grin The upper class wouldn't give these people the time of day, yet they're falling over themselves to fawn over the innate style and poise of the smart set.

I'm also loving some of the 'tack' being posted. Flamingoes were my favourite animal as a child!

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 03/08/2020 20:15

@Gmom

I've never used the word "common". The first time I heard it I'd just moved to England and met a woman who told me my husband's name was "common" and when I said "yes it was very popular in the 70s" she explained that she hadn't meant common as in "frequently found" but as in "low class." How would I have known this without a nasty woman explaining it to me? Sadly I've lived in the UK long enough that now I find myself always picking up on class signifiers in people's clothes/cars/language/names etc which is what "common" is about so I could use the word properly if I wanted to. I think I learned to distinguish class from the media rather than from people I know.

I recommend All In The Best Possible Taste with Grayson Perry a 2012 Channel 4 documentary that analysed the taste of UK social classes.

I'll try to watch that, thanks
DreamTheMoors · 03/08/2020 20:15

@mrshoho

She’s being the “grammar & spelling police “.
“an” instead of “a”.
I guess she thinks she’s doing you an enormous favour.

DreamTheMoors · 03/08/2020 20:27

When I became a teenager, my mum started her crusade of “Don’t be common!! Don’t be common!!”
What she meant was, Don’t be slutty!!

And I think women smacking gum with an open mouth is very tacky - and gross.

Susan1961 · 03/08/2020 20:29

Refined & classy as opposed to gaudy & flashy, think Audrey Hepburn v Bet Lynch 🤭

OneEpisode · 03/08/2020 20:29

There are some great art (that pig!) tv and book recommendations on this thread. I do value Mumsnet as a place where we can all be funny and clever and rude (and of course sometimes unfunny and not clever).

Mumsnet is under attack from men’s rights activists, often discussed as activists for another protected characteristic.

Py and N* would both be fodder, as they relate to a legally protected characteristic (race), and could be easily found on an automated advanced search. And used to shut this site down.

Even if, for example, in quoted song lyrics, quoted literature.
I missed the p post, so I don’t know the context, but regardless Mumsnet need to protect themselves and will delete fast, even the best intentioned post.

Swipe left for the next trending thread