My mum likened getting a tattoo to paedophilia

[yadayadayesokay]

So DP and DM were having a conversation about tattoos (he has a sleeve & chest tattoo, and mentioned that he is planning another soon)

She hates them and was making this absolutely clear. She thinks they’re disgusting (‘especially on women’) and very ‘look at me’.

She was giving all her unsolicited opinions and he shrugged and said ‘I don’t see the harm in them, they make people happy’ to which she replied ‘abusing children makes paedophiles happy’.

I don’t care what people’s opinions are on how tattoos look, but AIBU I’m thinking this is a ridiculous and offensive thing to say? I’m fuming.

Ah, she lost the argument, by the same rule that if you are the first to mention Hitler you have lots the argument.

She's bonkers. Just laugh it off, don't waste time & energy being offended, life's too short. Just laugh & say "Mum, you're totally ridiculous".

@SillyCow6

Tattoos only hurt the person who wears them temporarily so long as they are done properly. Paedophilia hurts children physically and mentally for the rest of their lives....bit of a daft comparison.

She sounds like she feels superior to your dp? I dont particularly like tattoos but plenty of my friends have them and I wouldnt look down on anyone for a tattoo. Although being completely Im not sure how Id react to facial tattoos initially

Don't try that argument.

She will come back with 'seeing tattoos hurts ME, aren't I worth not hurting?'

Been there.... with a very similar argument (although not with my mother, with my XH).

@Freixene

‘Mum, are you implying there’s no harm in paedophilia??’

This. She's an idiot.

Your mum is bonkers, but why were you and your partner discussing tattoos with her when you know she hates them? That's just asking for drama.

Bloody hell. If anyone I know came out with that statement I think I would be too stunned to reply, more so if it came from my mum.

It's a pretty bizarre link isn't it.

Does your DM not get on with your DP or has she always reacted this strongly when the subject of tattoos comes up ?

Well, she's clearly not up for life membership of the Oxford Union. But she's right, tattoos are horrible - especially on women. Why can't she express an opinion in the context of their conversation?
(I don't think tattoos are 'look at me', though - more that every moron likes to blend in with the masses!)

@MitziK Yes, she's deeply offensive and best avoided permanently. Up to you whether you do that, though.

You seriously believe that one stupid and offensive remark should not be forgiven and would, ideally, cause a permanent rift in the family?

Do you have any friends or relatives left?

'No, I don't think we'll be coming over for a while. You do realise what a fool you made of yourself with that comment to us the other day? About paedophilia? We are angry of course but also I'm so embarrassed. You sounded so stupid and offensive.'

I would not interpret that as likening tattoos to paedophelia tbh. I'm sure if she thought your dp was a paedophile she'd have said so before now!
Some people hate tattoos, some hate lip fillers and Botox, some hate breast implants. Takes all sorts.

I can't believe some of the responses on here. You will never win an argument with someone who has such flawed thinking. Don't even bother trying and as for taking permanent offence, that's way over the top. Just don't engage with nonsense, make light of it & move on for your own peace of mind, feuds are exhausting.

She's making herself sound like an utter moron. I'd laugh. She sounds so so stupid

She wasn’t likening getting a tattoo to paedophilia. She was likening the argument that people like tattoos so they are okay to the argument that people like paedophilia so it’s ok. It’s a weak retort trying to use the moral outrage over paedophilia to give weight to a more general puritanical argument that people’s enjoyment is not Of itself a positive reason to be okay with something.

It’s a ridiculous argument, but not one to “fume” over particularly.

It's a pretty crap argument, but she isn't actually equating tattoos with paedophilia, is she? Your DP's argument was that getting tattoos made people happy and your mother countered with something which was proof that something making people happy wasn't a valid argument for its value. It was still a stupid example though...

DP's argument was that getting tattoos made people happy and your mother countered with something which was proof that something making people happy wasn't a valid argument

But this doesnt even make any sense. Paedophilia is something done to someone else against their will. Having a tattoo is yourself doing it to your OWN body with your consent. Its a really stupid comparison

@katy1213

Well, she's clearly not up for life membership of the Oxford Union.

Properly LOLed at that.

Her point was about happiness - happiness doesn’t make something right.
Her chosen example for that point was poor.

Why have a conversation in the first place with someone you know hates tattoos. It's like actively seeking out an argument.

And, whilst her argument sounds like desperation, she's right. There are lots of revolting things that make other people happy, she wasn't saying having a tattoo is the same as being a peadaphile (sp?) just that making him happy isn't a reason to do it.

@motherheroic

There's always someone who slips in how much they hate tattoos but stress how they're such a good person for not saying anything. Yawn.

It's a thread law man

This sounds like something my mad old mum would say. She despises tattoos.

Not a day goes by when I don't look at my full back-piece (plus Cheryl Tweedy-esque arse flowers) and feel proud.

That's a pretty horrible thing to say. Admittedly, there may be a generational thing here- tattoos are much more common and generally accepted now than in the past, and she may still associate them with rebellious and non-law-abiding types. However, bringing up paedophilia here is just not on.

Oh my God.

That is a major red flag. I'm sorry but your mum needs help OP.

I detest tattoos...and I think they look disgusting and cheap, especially on women.

But she's right, tattoos are horrible - especially on women.

The sexism is coming from inside the house.