Husband doesn’t give a s**t about anything

[Verity35]

I’m really fed up with him. He doesn’t care about anything. I’m really embarrassed of the front of the house in particular as paint is coming off, cracks and it’s generally in bad state. I told him December I’m going to call someone he flipped and said “stupid b*tch I’m not paying for someone you find”. He said he will sort it out but still nothing done 8 months later. This is obviously just one example I can’t write everything down. I’m really annoyed with him as the houses in the street are pristine and ours looks like a mess. We live in a lovely neighbourhood and People must talk about the state of our house. Paint is coming off and looks awful. I’m really fed up with him, he doesn’t sort anything but when I try to get someone in he has a meltdown. I wish I could write more things but I’ve confided one friends about past things and they might read and realise it’s me. What can I do? I can’t live like this with someone like him. He’s lazy

What can I do? I can’t live like this with someone like him.
Leave him.

That's an awful thing to say to you. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that. I think that your problems run deeper than some work on the house.

I think the fact that he refers to you as a stupid bitch and is controlling is the main problem not how the front of your house looks. You need to leave him.

Thank you. You’re definitely right they run deeper. He doesn’t care about anything. He’s like a robot he has no emotions or passion about anything. I feel like I’m just wasting away with him. Whenever we go out for dinner he sits in silence and makes no effort. Everyone says “oh x is a lovely guy, so quiet and sweet” I feel everyone thinks he’s nice but I’ve had enough.

Closet narc. How can you be with someone who even utters the word bitch? I would seriously leave. I know it's not simple, but he is the way he is and clearly doesn't care.

I’d be more concerned about my husband calling me a stupid bitch than the laziness.

I wouldn't dream of calling my mrs a stupid bitch.
She's a a doctor for one so clearly isn't stupid and she'd kick me in the nuts re the bitch part.

Doesn't sound like there's much in it for you.

Leave

He called you a stupid bitch.

Kick the fucker out.

He calls you a stupid bitch. He is abusive. You need to leave. Do you have children?

It's one thing not giving a shit about the house, but he obviously doesn't think anything of you. It's not ok to call you a stupid bitch. That's not a good life to live. I know it's easy to say on here but if I were you I'd be planning how to leave him.

That sounds awful. Firstly you shouldn’t speak to your spouse like that - let alone over something so trivial in the big scheme of things!!
Also even without that attitude towards you, I can see why his apathy would grind you down after a while. I think you really need to weigh up what you’re getting out of this marriage and whether this is how you want to live.

You say you can’t live with him. Sounds like you’ve already reached the necessary conclusion. Do you have a plan for first steps out of this relationship?

Life is too short to be unhappy leave him.

So that's every day language is it? That's how he speaks to you in a discussion about getting the house painted? Totally unacceptable. Do you have DC? You need to let him know that's the last time he'll speak to you like that. What is it with boys that never grow up?

He sounds horrible. You do have choices. Including splitting up. Paying someone. Leaving it etc.

No, you should not stay with someone who speaks to you like that.

YANBU.

My question though, is why are you with someone who calls you a stupid bitch? He sounds lazy and unpleasant.

Your scruffy paintwork is the least of your worries, I honestly wouldn't put up with that.

Get him gone, we're only here once and you deserve better than being spoken to like that.

Leave him he’s horrible

Calling you a ‘stupid bitch’ is completely unacceptable. I would not tolerate this at all.

About the painting, though, if you want it done why don’t you do it yourself? It is not compulsory to have a penis to use a paint brush or a sheet of sandpaper.

He sounds awful - I wouldn't stay with him if I didn't have to.

Do you have children? What's the house/work situation like?

Do you have children?

Do you work?

Do you both own your house?

Can you start making plans?

Why should she leave though? Why not him??? I'm sick of women being told to leave when the man is the verbal or physical abuser.

I think they mean leave the relationship bored.
And quite right too!