To charge an 18 year old keep?

[AnneTwackie]

We are not wealthy and both work full time. DD has managed to get two part time jobs, mainly to save up spending money for her gap year starting in Jan. The trip is paid for by her wealthy dad. We are thinking of asking for 15% of her earnings (I thought 10, my husband thought 20%) capped at £100 pm. What do you think?

There’s no MN consensus on this subject.

Around half of posters think it’s unjustifiable to charge your children to live in their own home.

The other half think that unless you do, your child will never learn personal responsibility and will probably end up on the streets...

You’re just going to have to make up your own mind.

@AnneTwackie yes take a percentage but put it in a secret savings and give to her for her travelling in January or you will have to pay alot from your own money. If she likes buying clothes and socialising it will be all spent.

I paid keep as soon as I started earning: even when I was working part time and was studying. When my dad moved out, I paid a lot more than £100 a month, this was about 20 years ago!

I would suggest you do charge digs. If yuh can afford to, Maybe keep it aside and give her the money when she heads off on travels

I had to pay my mum keep when I was her age and honestly it really held me back. I worked 2 jobs and had very expensive travel on the train to get there. It ended up slowing down the process of me moving out as that money could have been saved. I would say it's different if you actually need the money (my mum really didn't) but otherwise you may end up delaying her moving out/going away.

Wouldn't dream of it. Agree fully with cat

I think it instills value in money and that you have to pay your way when you start to work. I always handed over 30% from the time I started part-time work as a 16 Yr old. I feel it was the right thing to do. My folks weren't well off at the time so there was no gifting back of the money or anything like that but they are slightly better off now and would give me the shirt off their back if I needed it.

My mum ‘charged’ me 20% of earnings from my very first job until I left home. I didn’t know she saved it all and gifted it back to me to help my buy my first house. Taught me good financial responsibility I think

@Dullardmullard the pain is real 😂..

I would charge 10% and then give it back for her trip when she goes in jan.

No way would i take it off her.

Let this little girl live her life

Personally I wouldn't charge a child of mine to live in their own house.
Mind you mine are studying so I wouldn't want them working 2 part time jobs

No. There's something uncomfortable in the way you are justifying it because you are 'not wealthy', but her dad is 'wealthy', and the fact that she's saving her wages for her gap year.

You almost sound a bit resentful of her opportunities to travel etc, tbh.

Agree with posters above saying it's a complete financial headfuck of a time to be a young person because of high rents, insane property prices, shite low wages, tuition fees, etc.

I didn’t realise this wasn’t the done thing? Myself and everyone I know were all charged keep when we started earning

This is MN, you never take keep off your kids even if they are still living at home at 27 and earning 150K a year. I’d get her to cover a bill or do some of the household shopping at this point.
(My first job on leaving school at 15 earned me £26 a week in my pocket, my mother got £10 of it).

Isn't it also a sign of appreciation of what is done for you? My parents paid for my school education, my four years at uni. When I got my first job and back living at home I offered to contribute to the expenses. My Dad wouldn't hear of it, but I came to an agreement with Mum (at my insistence) that I would give her a certain amount each month as a "thank you" for doing my washing, ironing, she shopped, kept the fridge full - it was her "pocket money" to spend on herself, not a contribution to household expenses.

My parents had the rule with us, all the while we were in full time education we could live rent free, once we left we had to pay rent. I moved out when I was in college but my siblings both still live at home, working full time and pay £200 each. Its a drop in the ocean from their wages but it's important that they learn something about expenses and managing money. Ultimately water bills, gas and electric etc do go up having another adult so I think yanbu to expect a nominal amount at all.

It depends what you mean by not being wealthy. If you are having problems with affording food and utilities presumably your daughter would prefer to contribute rather than save all her money for a holiday.
She’s optimistic to think she’ll be going anywhere in January so this arrangement may last longer than you both anticipate.

Add up what benefits you have lost. Include council tax increase. This is your starting figure.
Assuming she is not in the house much, something towards utilities, say, £30 a month(£1 a day) seems very reasonable.
Your mortgage/rent is not going up so nothing for that.
If she had an allowance, wouldn't that naturally stop now she is working?

If she’s already sensible with money (sounds like she is) I wouldn’t charge her rent I’d let her save and do her trip. If she’s terrible with money and a big spender on random ‘stuff’ I’d charge her a small amount and teach her about bills. You might find she wants to move in with her dad if you do start to charge her

My first part time job was when I was 17 and I insisted that my mum take 20% of whatever I earned. I can still remember the penny-drop moment at about 14 when I realised how expensive food shopping was!