AIBU to contribute to daughters rent?

[Applepea1]

So I know this is the opposite of what would usually be asked but in a dilemma about this.
Daughter was due to go away to university last year but took a gap year at the last minute. She then met her boyfriend who had to leave his shared house during lockdown and ended up moving in with us. This situation is ok but never supposed to be permanent and I'd like it to end soon. Daughter and I have had issues and I was honestly really looking forward to her going away to uni!
She is due to start at our local University now in September as she doesn't want to leave BF.
Rents around here are extortionate and they couldn't afford a one bed place with his wages and her maintenance loan.
So I'm wondering if I should pay her share of the rent or something towards it so they can move out? If she'd gone away to uni I would have paid for accommodation but I'm not sure about this situation.
If he moves back to his parents I think he'd just be staying over here most nights anyway and I'd just lose his rent money.

If you can afford to help her with rent then that is fine. I would suggest she gets a job still though, even if it is just a saturday job.
Turns out it was a good decision to take a gap year!

She needs to stand on her own two feet and grow up. I hate it when parents mollycoddle and bow down to their adult children.

Parents are expected to top up and the loan is reduced accordingly. I level up my son loan to what those on a full loan would get. His student accommodation is now private and he shares with one couple.

I'd tell her that she can live at home and he can stay two nights per week, or she can move out. It is annoying having someone else in your house all the time, and you deserve your space.

Depends what your financial situation is. If you can easily afford it then do it. If not then think twice before committing yourself. And as someone else said why can't they get a room in a shared house. Lots of students do that.

@Cadent many student pains do not come close to covering student accommodation.

Watch Martin Lewis he explains it very well the expectations of parent contributions.

*loans

What unwritten rule? Everyone I know paid their own accomodation and living costs at university!

It’s not an unwritten rule it the consequences of applying for a student maintenance loan that is reduced because of household income.

Yes as @Movinghouse2015 says please watch Martin Lewis explain the expectations of parents to top up living costs. It's not widely known unless you are in the position now.

So they should be renting in university halls or shared accommodation privately
Two single rooms or one double room

You should not be paying for him

A one bedroom or studio flat is probably not affordable unless they work as well as study

You should make it clear that you will not pay for her boyfriend

Your property, your rules
If you didn't expect him to move in permanently, he got until uni starts to find somewhere to live

Student loan got my through 3 years of living in Central London Halls. My parents didn't pay a penny.

Yes, but it's changed now. The governement takes parental income into account for loans. A parental contribution is assumed.

Surely she worked loads during her gap year to fund her uni.
I'd sit down, find a house share, look at costs etc and come to a figure where you're not subsidising her lifestyle but she can afford to be there.
Vs them living with you and you charge him rent, proper rate. They buy their own food.
See what you're happiest with.

My government takes parental income into account when deciding if students get any financial help. It basically equates to if your parents work, then you pay everything. Just because they government takes parental income into account doesnt mean 18-21 year olds arent capable of getting a part time job to learn the value of money and to supplement themselves. I certainly won't be funding my DD when she goes to University. I wont see her starve, but if she wants the adult life she needs to work for it. A part time job in a shop or restaurant isnt bad parenting, it's a valuable life lesson, not to mention CV experience.

halls accommodation would have been between £170-£220 a week. It's the unwritten rule that parents pay this

Holy fuck, there's no way I'm paying that for my dc, no possibility I can afford that! I assumed thats what student loans are for?!

pay her rent and she’ll expect everything on a plate for the rest of her life.
Why can’t she find shared housing?

Muppetry76

Your household income is assessed for a student loan. It is expected that parents will top their child's loan up to the full amount.

So many parents will be paying for their child's rent at uni, leaving them the rest of the loan for food and other costs,

That's how it works. Rents are usually cheaper in shared houses in the second and third years.

The point of a local university is that you then don't have to pay rent.
Or you can choose a university where the rent is not £220 pw - my son was paying £119 pw in Liverpool last year, so I do think your figures are on the generous side. Are you sure those figures are correct? Or is that for the double room with ensuite and catering?
And yes, at her age she shouldn't get into being liable for the rent for a whole flat for a year - what are the options if the relationship goes pear-shaped?
However, if you want to pay, then do.

I'm not buying it sorry. Student loan got my through 3 years of living in Central London Halls. My parents didn't pay a penny.

Loans are now means tested, any student with family income over about 60k gets minimum loan of about 3800 a year which doesn't even come close to covering rent let alone food/spending money etc. Fine if you're doing a degree with two days a week contact time and can fit in a job not so fine if you're doing a science based degree and in labs/lectures all week. Parents are expected to pick up the financial slack and make it up to the full loan amount which is about 8k.

@jay55

Why can't they live in a shared house?

This is what I thought.

Shared housing is what they should be looking for.

The full amount of student loan for 2020-2021 is £9,203 outside London and £12,010 studying in London. Both for students under 25.

The amount loaned to students whose household income is over £60k will be £4,289.

Therefore parents need to provide £4914 outside London for the academic year.

I am finding this difficult to understand. Why is it the parents who are expected to do this and not the adult students?

Also, I did a degree with 4-5 days contact time, and I still worked every weekend and I wrangled a Friday without lectures with some careful choosing of my modules for my final year. I did my essays Monday to Thursday evenings or during free hours during the day. I earned about 600 a month and worked nearly full time through the holidays to help during term time. It's very doable for many students (obviously not ones on placement who are already working 8-12 hour days).

I just dont get why its expected that a parent will just have that money to give to their kid and fund their adult lifestyle in university. My parents just didnt have it. I wanted to go to university, so I paid for rent, food, and nights out. These students are adults, not kids.

I wouldnt. I'd have her living with me. Tell the boyfriend that he cannot sleep over. It's your house so your rules.

That's what is expected for students under 25. Many courses are full-time. My own children only have Wednesday afternoons free. There isn't time to attend lectures and workshops, do coursework and work as well.

That's why household income is assessed - to judge how much parents should pay. Those from less affluent backgrounds can borrow more, to reduce disadvantage.

I am guessing that you, @SquidgeBum, didn't go to university under this system. Neither did I. I went in the days of grants, but these were also based in parental income.