Strange question

[Pipeworkhelp]

Would it be weird for one friend to drive 20 miles to pick another friend up and then drive another 70-80 miles just to drop him off. To avoid said friend from having to hire a car/taxi to London as he has two heavy suitcases (moving back home after finishing his current hospital job)?

In total 3 hour round trip.

It would be very kind but I wouldn't expect it

Basically my partners friend has asked him to help him move his stuff back to London- he lives 20 miles away from my partner. Partner had to pick him up then drive another 70-80 miles to drop him off in London.

This friend is in a well paying job so not exactly short of money and also inherited a flat in a prime London location so doesn’t have a mortgage most likely but would have been paying something to stay in hospital accommodation.

We are supposed to be saving what we can for our wedding next year.

I think if a person was willing and happy to do that (and they weren’t coerced or pushed into it) that would make them a lovely friend.

I might probably raise an eyebrow if the person had romantic feelings for the friend and was doing it to try and win them over though. It might feel a bit like they’re trying too hard.

My partner has a very dodgy and unreliable car that frequently breaks down but refuses to change it.

Are they making a trip of it, ie staying for a takeaway/drink, or literally dropping off at the door?

If they are good friends and it’s a one off, then it’s a nice thing to do to help a friend.

I would be surprised if someone did it but not think it was weird.

It depends on the context. It's a very kind thing to do. If the friend has been asked to pick up and drop off the friend (rather than offer) I think it's a big ask and the friend who is driving could reasonably say no.

Oh just seen the update. Does your partner feel like he had to do it, or was he happy to?

Well I am down for the weekend (LDR) and partner was supposed to be spending time with me but would rather run this errand for his friend. His friend is male, over 40, 10 years older than us actually.

Your partner is helping your friend move house during a period where social distancing is encouraged. Surely this is the safest way rather than being in a random taxi. No doubt on the day he will cover the petrol costs. It's not that far really. I guess you either don't drive or don't drive frequently?

Well I’m not really sure- I wasn’t privy to the asking but tbh I find it a little odd. I must also say as I’m probably now drop feeding that I’ve often wondered if said friend has feelings for my partner. He is over 40 and single. No signs of any love interest whatsoever.

Season no I drive ALOT... we are in LDR very shortly coming to an end- I don’t know maybe it’s just me being paranoid as he does fill his lack of social time with me with this friend. Doesn’t mean it means anything I guess.

Thanks for the replies.

Do you suspect that they are secretly gay? What are you basing it on? That they spend lots of time together?

Yes schrodinger- pre lockdown almost every other week several hours together

Erm. That's friendship. I often meet up with a friend for several hours. Well did before lockdown... Doesn't make me or her lesbian. Unless you have something else but the he is single and they spend time together, you are being bit ridiculous

Luggage can be sent using sendmybags.com. About £20 per suitcase within the UK depending on dimensions and weight. Door to door service via DHL. Makes using public transport much more of an option.

That's the practical bit done. Is your other half generally a rescuer personality? I am. I would look at that situation and think I can do something to help (regardless of the impact on me) and volunteer. I'm working on curbing the urge!!

I think different issues are being brought in to this one example. I have a few thoughts:
I'm not clear how your DP felt about the favour.
I'm not clear whether you are cross on DPs behalf (feels he's been taken advantage of) or cross for yourself (DP would rather spend time with friend than you).
What you think your DPs feelings are towards his friend.
In short - what are actually pissed off about?

You haven’t really provided much evidence of any feelings between them apart from spending time together?

Are you feeling a bit insecure perhaps?

Schrodinger I can assure you I know what friendship is- I have many friends as does he but this one just irks me! I don’t know what it is but it just does.

And no I don't think it's a strange thing for a close friend to do for another.

No not feeling insecure.., I guess I’m just concerned about his car which constantly keeps breaking down!

I'd do that for a mate without hesitating. Great way to spend some active time together, being busy, stopping for a bite to eat etc. I'd see it more as a day out than any big favour.

So you don't like him, that's it? Isn't it.

I would do this trip for my best friend without hesitation. It sucks it coincided with you coming, but it's a nice thing to do for a friend.

Also slightly irritated that this is timed carefully to coincide with our little actual social time together

I am now massively confused what your issue is. Are you concern his car will break, they will end up shagging on a rest stop, he will always want to spend some time with him even when you move together? Which one is it

You say it’s the car that concerns you but you only mentioned that a few posts in, which suggests it’s not really at the forefront of your mind or you would’ve mentioned it in your OP? It seems to be them spending time together which is your issue.