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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mum being attacked

49 replies

flygirl767 · 31/07/2020 21:34

I've posted about this on a long term thread in elderly parents but I need some advice now please.

Briefly, my 86 year old frail mum has been in an acute MH unit for the last 7 weeks suffering from delirium and mild dementia. She was cleared for discharge last week so just waiting to organise a place at a care home for short term respite care.

This morning mum was punched on the arm by a new patient. I was told this both by mum and the nurse when I went to visit today. This evening, the charge nurse has called to say this woman is targeting my mum and has gone for her again and chucked water over her. I am beside myself-how can they allow a violent patient on a ward with many elderly patients? They have said they are trying to find her (the new patient) another bed in a different ward and have her on surveillance now but mum will be terrified. Knowing the ward as I now do, there re very few staff in over the weekend and I am not convinced mum will be safe. AIBU to think this woman needs to be removed from the ward like now? There must be somewhere for her to go.

No idea what tomorrow will bring but I really need to take this further, any idea who I should ask to speak to?

OP posts:
Original poster
flygirl767 · 31/07/2020 21:36

Sorry didn't mean to enable vote, just need advice

OP posts:
Leaannb · 31/07/2020 21:39

You are correct that the woman needs to be moved but unfortunately they ha e to find somewhere else to place her. Just like you are waiting for a place at a care home she will be waiting a place for another ward

TitianaTitsling · 31/07/2020 21:39

It won't be what you want to hear probably, but the new patient is likely to also have dementia, is it a care of the elderly ward she is on? Often all that the staff can do is offer 1-1 nursing supervision, or a single room.

TitianaTitsling · 31/07/2020 21:42

But of course absolutely understand how stressful things are for you. Hope she can move soon.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 31/07/2020 21:42

Yabu to think the women needs to be removed, you have absolutely no idea about her care plan, however YANBU to want your mum to be safe and free from assault.

Original poster
flygirl767 · 31/07/2020 21:43

@TitianaTitsling

It won't be what you want to hear probably, but the new patient is likely to also have dementia, is it a care of the elderly ward she is on? Often all that the staff can do is offer 1-1 nursing supervision, or a single room.
She obviously has MH issues but she is not elderly. It is a mixed ward but with a fair amount of elderly ladies
OP posts:
Original poster
flygirl767 · 31/07/2020 21:43

They are all in single rooms but are allowed to wonder around during the day to the canteen, TV room and garden.

OP posts:
Smallsteps88 · 31/07/2020 21:48

How scary for your mum!

I’m not sure what is possible but can you ask that either the new patient or your mum has a staff member with her at all times when out in the communal areas? Or if they can make it so your mum and new patient aren’t in same communal areas at same times.

hula008 · 31/07/2020 21:49

Ask if they have reported to the police and adult safeguarding. If they haven't, I would contact them yourself..

nzborn · 31/07/2020 21:57

the hospital should provide an escort to sit with the disruptive patient 24,7 till they are shifted somewhere better suited to their condition

Emeraldshamrock · 31/07/2020 22:05

Oh your poor DM. I have no advice other than keep calling your DM to check in I'd ring the ward repeatedly too until they can guarantee your DM is safe.

rosiejaune · 31/07/2020 22:25

Is it possible the delirium is from a urinary infection, not actually mental health related? It's a common symptoms in older people, and often missed.

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 31/07/2020 22:27

Your poor Mum, I hope she's OK.
This other person may well be an elderly dementia patient. They can be very strong and fast.
Hope she can be moved to a safe care home very quickly.

Scentsandsensible · 31/07/2020 22:29

Oh I’m so sorry for you and your dm. Am sure they will move her as quickly as possible. In the meantime are you able to perhaps stay there or take dm home (appreciate that might not work)

loutypips · 31/07/2020 22:33

Your poor mum! If she's been punched then as another poster said, the police and whoever is responsible for safeguarding needs to be told.
You might also want to contact the social worker who is dealing with your mums case.

Lightuptheroom · 31/07/2020 22:33

Unfortunately this happens a lot, my mum was put on a mixed ward (she's 78) and a gentleman they admitted started throwing oxygen bottles around, in the end my mum went and slept in the corridor. In a different hospital, my step son, then in early 20's was put on an assessment ward and there were several elderly women with advanced dementia who spent all evening either trying to leave the ward, pulling their underwear down or trying to get into his bed. Wards are understaffed at night, they don't have the manpower to do 1:1 and often people waiting for the next stage of assessment will end up together. Hospitals seem to expect relatives to supervise, which is just not workable. All the ladies I mentioned had nobody with them and 2 nurses on a 10 bed ward. Hopefully they can sort it quickly

LegoMaus · 31/07/2020 22:38

I would remove my mum, or if that’s not possible I’d sit there round the clock to supervise. Nobody would be hitting my mum.

Arthersleep · 31/07/2020 22:38

Agree with rosiejaurn

If it's sudden onset, then double check whether it infections have been ruled out. They're not always obvious.

Personally I would be tempted to ask to sit with your mother to ensure her safety at all times until the situation has been resolved.

Longdistance · 31/07/2020 22:39

So sorry your mum has to endure this. Is there any way they can close her door so she’s not exposed so much? The staff should be watching this new lady too, like a hawk. Your poor mum Sad
Love your username btw. Always liked the B767.

sammylady37 · 31/07/2020 22:45

Unfortunately this can happen on psych wards. The police are extremely unlikely to do anything about it. There isn’t always a swift solution such as “move to another ward”- beds can be a very scarce resource. And it’s not feasible to have everyone on 1:1 nursing as a preventative measure, so it’s usually only a reactive measure.

disorganisedsecretsquirrel · 31/07/2020 22:48

I would discharge my mum and take her home with me until a safe place could be found . There is no way I would allow my mother to be scared. No matter how much that inconvenienced me

Jacky209990 · 31/07/2020 22:53

I would ask if incident forms have been completed on each occasions, these will need to be investigated. Also, they have identified your Mum is being targed, what measures have they put in place to reduce the risk to your mum. They have a duty to ensure her safety, they have identified a risk, they need to ensure there are plans in place to manage this risk.

Original poster
flygirl767 · 31/07/2020 22:57

Thank you for the replies. Unfortunately I cannot take her off the ward overnight as she is sectioned at the moment and I’m unable to be on the ward with her due to covid. I can only visit her in the grounds or take her out for up to 2 hours. It’s a nightmare situation.

OP posts:
Atthebottomofthegarden · 31/07/2020 23:07

I am sure they will have checked for infections, the impact of UTIs on MH in older patients is well known.

I’m sorry OP this sounds awful. The PP advice about asking if it has been reported to safeguarding sounds sensible to me. I am sure the staff will be doing all they can but goodness I can appreciate your concern. I’d be phoning regularly. Have you asked to speak to the Sister in charge of the ward?

littlealexhorne · 31/07/2020 23:47

I'm so sorry OP, of course your Mum deserves to both be safe and feel safe. I really hope things improve soon and she can at least feel safer again, it must be such a tough time for both of you right now

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