Summer is just no fun with a baby, AIBU?

[Lelophants]

Maybe it's the added stressed of coronavirus or I'm just being grumpy. Or maybe summer just really isnt than fun with an 8 month old? When does it get good?

All these light days and yet I'm stuck upstairs in the dark for every naptime because he contact naps and that's the only place he'll sleep.

Too hot to go out any time other than first thing in the morning and if you miss it, you're stuck inside all day. Far too hot outside! Having to keep all the windows and curtains closed in the house to keep it cool and especially for night time. So bit dark and depressing. All the overheating anxiety.

Had all these visions of us being outside in the paddling pool, but so hard to get shade in our garden and terrified of him burning! Filling up the pool is a nightmare as have to get it over 30 degrees and then only in for a few minutes, then you lose that tiny bit of shade! And where to put them where you're filling it up?

Honestly find it all stressful and a disappointment! Give me cold brisk walks in a snow suit any day.

Yes I'm a grump. I hate seeing a beautiful day we can't enjoy.

Does it get better?

@Bitchinkitchen I don’t have an immobile 8 month old, I have a 7year old, a 5 year old and a 3 year old, so I probably beat you in the zero peace stakes; but you can still leave them on the grass whilst you put the small amount of water if takes to fill a paddling pool up for a tiny baby. Or, as I said, you can put them in a bouncy chair. Even if they are moving, it doesn’t matter. Let them explore. I’m assuming you’ve got no dangerous tools out in the grass.

The main gist of my post was that it doesn’t do to over think things. Put baby down, put water in. Job done.

My eldest was born in the heatwave of 2006. Trying to keep her cool was a nightmare and I wouldn't go out with her as,it was just too hot even in the morning.
We've only had about 4 nice days,of weather since my 7 week old was born. He's obviously too little to play outside but have been a little more relaxed this time. Plenty of sunscreen, parasol on the pushchair and off as go.
I'd get a parasol for the garden but can see it's harder with a slightly older baby. The hot weather isn't meant to last and will.probably be easier by next year.

I had dd in June and spent most of the beautiful summer breast feeding and changing nappies. Not a blast compared to pre baby summers in festivals and Thailand etc. Yanbu.

Just put a small amount of water 2 cm in the paddling pool. It will warm up . plonk in baby. . No need to temperature measure to 30 degrees ! Make life easier and relax a little. 8 month old wont be harmed by a dunk in 3 cm of cool water on a hot day ! Who says measure to 30 degrees? Put Next to a bucket of cold water and small containers to play with. Let her experience and experiment cold cool and warm.
Fix up a parasol.

A paddling pool is not a swimming pool. You really don't need to have it heated to 30. Just put in a small amount of water instead of filling it to top. Try to adapt. And enjoy being out .

Totally overthinking all of this.
Get a parasol or some shade for a start, and wean your little one off contact naps in the dark. A snuggly nap is fun, but it needs to suit you both, and so a nap in a cot, pushchair, sling, or a cushion on the floor would give you much more freedom.

And I've never in the history of MN (and there's a lot of PFB crazyness on here at times) heard of anyone measuring the temperature of a paddling pool. Just use a hose and chuck a couple of buckets of hot water in it! What are you going to do if you go to the beach, measure the sea? Most people just go by what feels comfortable with your hand/ foot.

I love summer with babies. I have a 15mo, and whilst she was in from 12-3, after that she's been suncreamed up and running round in a swim nappy totally happy.

Teach him to sleep on his own. He didn't contact sleep in your womb so he can learn to sleep normally as well. This is your own decision at this point. So if you don't like it , change it. As for it being to hot well there is nothing you can do about it.

I've currently got an 8 month old and have found it all to be ok... we use our paddling pool and I just prop the parasol from the outdoor furniture in front to create shade when hes in it (lay it in the grass) I also put the water in it first thing in the morning so it heats up through the morning and we go in it after lunch. I check the temperature and add water from the kettle if too cold still (before baby is in it).

Buy a parasol if you want shade!

I think CV is making it seem worse. Keeping babies shielded from the sun can be a pain but the days where that’s really a problem in the
UK are quite few and far between x

A cheap second hand travel cot makes a great portable play pen, especially for the garden. I used to plonk DD in with some toys while I was pottering around the garden, you can also drape a sheet over the top for extra shade? I also agree with some of the other comments, it doesn't sound like you are getting anytime for you, carving out sometime to do something you enjoy or to relax is really important- have a look at your schedule and see if there are any tweaks you could make - good luck

I think you need to not worry quite so much. I have a 9 month old and I just let her sleep where she likes; sling, buggy chair. I have two other kids so can't spend hours upstairs with her napping so she has just had to adapt. Sometimes she naps sometimes she doesn't. I know yesterday was hot but I still
Took her out in the buggy with the sunshade to get ice cream. You have to be sensible with sunscreen and shade but I don't think you have to be in the house all the time. I would really suffer too if I did that so maybe experiment bit by bit with getting our more.

I agree OP - mine is now 20 months and it's much more fun this summer.

I contact napped until she was a year when she decided to stop and wanted to feed to sleep then lay down in her cot. Never sleep trained and now she does 8pm - 7am overnight and a two hour nap in her cot/car or pram during the day. You don't have to sleep train for things to get better - unless you want to. Good for you for doing what you feel is best, I found there was so much pressure for me to stop the contact naps which I could've done without.

Hope it's a bit cooler today!

@wanderlove he doesnt sleep anywhere! Trust me I'd love it if he did! I hate seeing him so upset and overtired.

I understand you can keep water warm overnight night by covering pool with sheet of black plastic ( as in black bin bag?).

Yep i agree, I can't enjoy hot weather due to sun cream stress and burning paranoia! I prefer when it's cloudy!

@Lelophants

Sadly (for you) you've taught him by the sounds of it, that to nap it has to be pitch black and indoors and touching you. To change this, you'll have to gently teach him there is another way? What happens if it's nap time when you're out?

This isn't a question of babies being no fun in summer, it's that yours is no fun in summer, because of the sleep associations you've taught it.

And I don't mean that in a harsh way, there are probably advantages somewhere to it, but life with babies really depends on some of the decisions you make. Someone with a very strict routine has the disadvantage of no flexibility, but the advantage (often) of a decent evening free. Someone very relaxed in routine may be able to to to parties still, watch the sunset on the beach whilst eating dish and chips etc, but with their baby with them.

Does the baby at least go down in the evening?

8 months old is old enough to wear sunblock and keep baby in the shade. You shouldn't keep baby inside the entire day just because you're scared of them burning, take reasonable precautions and let baby enjoy the outdoors. If you have a garden, get a big parasol and a picnic blanket with lots of toys on and let baby play in the shade in the garden. What's the big deal? I had my son April 2019 and we had a stinking hot summer last year (far better than this year) and we spent every day outdoors. Long walks in the park with friends (with a clip on buggy fan and a parasol), paddling pool in the garden. You're being way too overcautious and it's not allowing you to enjoy the summer with your new baby. Relax and get outside already

Also agree with @Babyboomtastic - we gently sleep trained my son when he was young so ideally he has all naps in his cot, blackout blinds and white noise, but if we are out for the day he naps where we are. In the buggy or in the car, or we give him a long nap before we go out. During the holidays the routine goes out the window as I refuse to be a slave to my child's naps. You need to teach him to sleep elsewhere other than you, as he gets older it's only going to get harder.

I think it matters how much you enjoyed summer before DC.
I really didn't, sitting and sweating in a hot garden was really not my thing at all. Yes summer walks and the beach were great, but I prefer crisp autumn walks.
When DC1 came along he was about 4 months old in the height of summer and I felt such pressure to "make the most of the weather" and get him out and about all day. He would nap in his pram with a parasol and pram fan whist I baked and sweated in the heat. I just didn't enjoy it and so I think I made it seem difficult as an excuse.

DC2 is 10 months old and because of covid we really haven't done much. The garden has no shade at all and she puts everything in her mouth. I set up some bowling pins for the toddler and looked away for seconds and she had gravel in her mouth.
I've just excepted that I'm not a fan of summer and I don't need to feel lots of guilt about not going outside every waking hour of a summers day. As PP have said, a little water play in a tub with cups for an hour an afternoon is fine.

And look forward to autumn. It's much easier!

I have a almost 8 month old ds and 5yo ds and we go out and about when it's sunny (and when it's wet haha). Yesterday we spent the morning at the park, at the playground then sat under a tree playing football and eating an ice cream. When we got home, I plonked ds2 in his jumperoo and filled the paddling pool up then in they both went. He's terrible for eating EVERYTHING in sight so just have to be extra vigilant but there's no way I could stay in the house all day because it's hot. We don't have a parasol so I use a massive blanket and peg it over the washing lines to make shade.

For crawlers, the best thing is to have a safe garden with lots of shade...Then they can be kept busy for hours just pottering about.

If there is no shade in your garden, can you create it? Sail shades, pergola, gazebo? Our garden has practically no natural shade and gets very hot, but we've hooked up some sail shades to the house and the shed that cover practically the whole garden so now we can stay outside for hours.

You need to get to Aldi and buy a baby paddling pool! It has a built in shade for 5.99!

Hmm mine is 8 months this week and I’m enjoying it. However, she naps on her own so I can get a break. I’m not enjoying the 5am morning feeds though. I’m waiting until it cools down to help her wait until 6/7am for a feed. As it’s hot at night and if she wakes I feel I must feed her so she stays hydrated etc (breastfed). Anyway, I also have two older kids 6 and 8 plus a dog. We start the day going to the park 7am with the dog for her morning walk. The baby enjoys looking at people and the scenery as we walk. I also push her on the swings. During the day if we venture out we stick to the shade mostly. But some parts I have to walk in sun, but I just pull the stroller shade over so baby keeps cool and protected from the sun.

It’s fine to take the baby out during the day in the stroller if you can find some shaded areas to walk. My baby is happy doing this. And she doesn’t get hot or sweaty from it. As outside in the shade it’s a nice temperature.

If your filling up the pool place baby on a mat on the floor to play.

Could you train to let baby sleep naps on its own? I just place my baby down at nap time and walk out. She babbles a little and then sleeps. She has now been sleeping one hour for her morning nap. I will have to wake her soon.

Could you meet up with other friends for a walk in the park or picnic in the shade? That might make it more fun.

I don’t fancy walking in the winter and having to bundle them up for walks! So annoying. And even worse if it rains!

No fun in this heat. This next next year it will all be different, it’s literally a full time job to entertain an 8 month old when their eyes are open. Abandon everything else. It should give you some enjoyment, if it’s not, ask yourself why. Are you trying to do too much?