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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at letters being address to my partner and not me?

53 replies

bigdinolittledino · 31/07/2020 19:03

Sob
myself and my partner have decided to mortgage our property which is currently owned outright and is a self build.
The house is 50% mine and 50% his and we are unmarried.
I do 100% of the admin, sorted all the mortgage out with the broker, made sure all the documents were in on time and all emails are from my email address which is [email protected] and signed off with my name.
All the documents which have come in the post from the broker are handwritten to My partner and never to me or have me included even though they have never spoken to him before.
I kind of got used to this and accepted this might be the way the broker does things.

However, this morning in the post comes our council tax banding letter and again it's address to just him.
I was the one who used MY local council account to register which is in my name for the tax and submitted all the information but still this letter has come address to my partner, a male.

Are woman still viewed as people who are not allowed control of anything?

Why is this still happening in 2020?

I know it's a small thing to be wound up about within the current climate but I fee so wound up by it just thought I'd engage some opinions if I'm being a tad sensitive or not.

OP posts:
silverPersephone · 01/08/2020 09:39

Actually in your situation everything should have joint names especially the council tax etc as otherwise you are not on paper as 50%. Put in writing to correct it as they are treating you like you are married and that is not the case, by leaving it you are at risk of eroding your rights if anything was to happen as the paper trail does not include you.

Wanderer1 · 01/08/2020 10:10

I would speak to the broker and explain that he will loose your business if he doesn't address things to the person who is dealing with him!

NoemiaElara · 01/08/2020 10:25

I Could have written this! One of our (unused) joint bank accounts was able to be closed by my husband without the bank even asking me for my permission!

My husbands best friend recently sent their wedding invitations out. This was the best man at our wedding 6 years ago. Only my husband was on the envelope address...I got him to ring and ask if I was invited.

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