My sister is and her husband live a pretty closed off life... lovely home, he has a good job and they pretty much do everything together. Their social lives don't really exclude each other from any aspect. That wouldn't be for me, my DH like to do things together but also separate to each other (!) and have our own groups of friends. Just mentioning this for context as it's one of the things my sister thinks is 'odd'.
Recently my work has changed so that, like most people, I'm working remotely. I was furloughed for 6 weeks but since then it's been as full on as usual. DH works away so with having my daughter at home (6) it's been really busy for me trying to juggle.
Sister does not have children and is currently not working (her choice, they can absolutely afford for her not to) while she decided "what she wants to do next". She's applied for a few jobs and each time, she's asked me for help with her application which I've done, even though it's been tricky as I've been ridiculously busy.
Whenever I have asked sister to help with childcare at all. She always says no and does have an excuse. I know this might be plausible but it's literally every time. I don't ask a lot, just because she makes it so awkward. Think perhaps 4 times over the last year. During my working-from-home, I asked her to help one morning, she said no, and I've not asked since. BTW she's an ex-primary school teacher so it isn't as though she'd feel out of her depth etc.
Sister has a history of making really shitty comments to me and other family members, which everyone excuses as "she's in her own little bubble" and "that's just how she is". Things about my weight, personality, things Nan buys for her home being a waste of money etc etc. She's really upset people a few times but no-one challenges her on it.
Earlier this week she messaged to ask if I was around that day and I said yes but I was working (it was 9:30am). She then sent me a really shitty reply about not taking any time to see her, I was selfish etc etc. I told her it was 9:30am on a Tuesday and so like most people, I was working. She replied with some barbed comment about a commitment she knew I'd made with another family member for later in the week (I'd arranged to go for tea with an aunty that's been experiencing some poor mental health).
I replied that I'd made the arrangements last week, needed notice etc etc. Trying to appease her as everyone always does.
Today my Dad let it slip that sister had been to his house and told him that I "couldn't possibly be at work" as "everything is closed".,... making our like I'm some kind of bloody liar! As usual. he's then said "oh just ignore her. You know what's she's like" etc.
So, am I being unreasonable to now be at a point where I say that enough is enough? Surely the fact we're all pussy footing around her is contributing to her feeling that it's okay to be like this?