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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

£5k on dental treatment

33 replies

Cannabeaye · 30/07/2020 22:07

DP has choice of dentures or implants. He's chosen implants and some other work on his few remaining teeth. He needs something, he barely has any teeth and struggles to chew food.
Prob is, this is a lot of money to us. We had saved up this money for a dream hol with the kids 2021/22.
I wouldn't spend this amount of family money on myself. I'd love to! Would love some cosmetic surgery, but think it should be spent on the family.
However, I do understand DP's feelings. Also understand that if NHS wasn't free, we'd be spending a ton of money on my medical needs.

Aibu?
Yes - he needs this and should have it
No - get some good quality dentures and treat the kids (in the future)

OP posts:

Nickelallergy891 · 30/07/2020 22:09

I wouldn't normally say this, but is it worth partly doing the treatment on finance (or some repayment plan), so that he can have the work done but your hard-earned savings can go on the holiday? Both are essential in my books!! 😊

Purplepie78 · 30/07/2020 22:10

He should get the implants. Dentures aren’t great. Most cosmetic dentists do a payment plan. Not sure how many teeth he’s going to get fir £5k. I was quoted £10 for 4!

My friend got hers done in Budapest and my mum got hers done in Poland. Much, much cheaper.

olivo · 30/07/2020 22:11

YABU, this is not cosmetic surgery, this is allowing him to have a normal function. That is worth more in the long term than any holiday. I know it is disappointing but his needs should come first.

Emeraldshamrock · 30/07/2020 22:11

You can get implant dentures they are much cheaper.
It is a lot of money but I imagine dentures are very uncomfortable.
Is the NHS covering a chunk too?

Emeraldshamrock · 30/07/2020 22:12

They screw into the gum.

Ilovecranberries · 30/07/2020 22:15

You can wait a bit and do it in Eastern Europe much cheaper (and the dental technology there is more advanced, in my experience) and yes, as a PP said, look at the implant dentures.

Nosuchluck · 30/07/2020 22:17

He should get the implants, I also spent 5k last year on two imp!ants and some other smaller things that needed doing. That was after years of not being able to chew properly, it's been life changing.
I've certainly never looked on it as cosmetic surgery, imagine every mouthful you eat you're thinking about not being able to chew.

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 30/07/2020 22:19

I am another one for implants. It will improve his quality of life vs a nicety like big family holiday, IMO.

PurpleDaisies · 30/07/2020 22:19

I would hate dentures unless he absolutely had no option. He should get implants. I’ve just spent a fortune on a root canal and crown instead of losing a tooth.

Fred578 · 30/07/2020 22:20

Get him over to Turkey for your family holiday... two birds with one stone

2020wasShocking · 30/07/2020 22:22

Screw in dentures? They’ll be a reaction of the cost as a pp has posted the pic already.

They seem to do the same job as individual implants. I assume less invasive too?

2020wasShocking · 30/07/2020 22:22

a fraction

ilydia · 30/07/2020 22:23

Unfortunately that is just how much implants cost, and your DP being able to eat comfortably and without pain is more important than a holiday. Even if he's not in pain, not being able to chew properly can cause other problems with the jaw down the line. It's not cosmetic surgery in this instance.

As has already been mentioned upthread, you might be able to find a good and affordable interest-free payment plan for the dental work.

safariboot · 30/07/2020 22:23

Private treatment from a good dentist is worth every penny to me.

And I wouldn't dream of trying to save a buck by going to another country for dentistry! But then for me, one bad experience could undo everything my current dentist has done to get me through my dental phobia.

VimFuego101 · 30/07/2020 22:24

Any chance it could be done at a teaching hospital? I had veneers done at Guys hospital by students several years ago - all supervised by actual dentists. Your dentist may be able to refer you.

Original poster

Cannabeaye · 30/07/2020 22:24

Yeah, I thought I was probably being unreasonable. He's getting 2. We will use the payment plan and forego the hol. Thank you for the responses and getting me outside of my selfish head!

OP posts:

Original poster

Cannabeaye · 30/07/2020 22:26

@VimFuego101 might investigate that. Thanks for the suggestion

OP posts:

Moreisnnogedag · 30/07/2020 22:26

Seriously? It’s his teeth not cosmetic surgery! A holiday is just that but you’re essentially saying you value his long term comfort less than a jolly. Dentures are tiresome and painful - I imagine that his confidence is also low because of this.

I have spent ~£3k on my dental treatments a couple of years ago and it has made a substantial improvement on my daily life.

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 30/07/2020 22:32

@Cannabeaye

Yeah, I thought I was probably being unreasonable. He's getting 2. We will use the payment plan and forego the hol. Thank you for the responses and getting me outside of my selfish head!

No, you are not selfish ☺️ At least, I don’t think so 💐

Ilovecranberries · 30/07/2020 22:33

And I wouldn't dream of trying to save a buck by going to another country for dentistry!
It is actually not that bad. I used to have dental treatment only in my home country outside of covid - I could not find an equivalent level of service anywhere in the UK. I know there are special organised tours from Western Europe there for major procedures (implants, complex surgery, cosmetic restorations). I had to have a wisdom tooth extraction in the UK just after the lockdown ended - and it was almost £1K in fees for a really, really poor experience.

Foodiefoodieyemek · 30/07/2020 22:33

İ am about to spend money on two implants and other work. DH didn't question it even though we would love a holiday and haven't been on one in 7 years! But in the long run it means i will be healthy and comfortable and not over use one side which will be harder and more expensive to fix down the line. Let him have the implants

SimonJT · 30/07/2020 22:34

I have an implant, they’re really fantastic if he is an ideal candidate. I couldn’t have mine for almost a year (rugby player) so I had a denture for a long time, it was horrible, I couldn’t eat with it in, they increase the likelihood of the teeth either side needing fillings etc, your speech is effected, stuff gets stuck underneath.

ajs88 · 30/07/2020 22:40

The health of peoples teeth (and particularly the gums and bone beneath the gums) plays a major role in how long we live for. Implants keep/replace the bone and the gums in place, where as dentures don't.

This is not cosmetic it is how long he will live for. There is literally nothing more important that you could spend this money on

titsaleena · 30/07/2020 22:40

Best dentists in the world in Turkey. So I’m told by all of my Turkish friends who have amazing teeth!

Illdealwithitinaminute · 30/07/2020 23:00

This is NOT cosmetic- the poor guy can't eat!

I spent 4k of our money on straightening my teeth, that's cosmetic and we aren't super-wealthy at all, spent far less on our holidays...but I just wanted to have straight teeth for the first time in my life. Also spent lots on kids teeth, husband had implant in his home country.

Dentistry is about quality of life and really essential IMO in a way that a fancy holiday is not.

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