To ask how can I lose weight without dieting?

[fieldsofdaisies]

I am so fed up of being on the diet-binge cycle. I have tried several "diets" including calorie counting, intermittent fasting (5:2), trying to eat mindfully/intuitively. It lasts maybe 4-6 weeks and then I go back to eating how I always eat which is large portions of unhealthy food with evening comfort eating of crisps, chocolate and ice-cream. I measured my BMI and I was shocked seeing that I am now classed as obese. I knew I was overweight but I didn't think I was obese!

Whenever I think about losing weight it always creeps into being too restrictive and strict which perpetuates the diet-binge cycle. I am so bored of being on this cycle.

Has anyone managed to lose weight in a sustainable way? I want a complete lifestyle overhaul.

Personally ... the calories in/calories out philosophy simply doesn't work for me. I find I am so, so hungry that it just isn't sustainable as I'll end up falling off the wagon in a spectacular manner. I end up thinking about food (how much, when, what) every single second of the day. It's so miserable.

Low carb, and IF fits with my lifestyle. I don't calorie count, it doesn't feel like I'm missing out/making a huge sacrifice, and I'm slowly losing weight.

I know how hard this is OP. I was doing the same thing and managed to lose a lot of weight last year and so far am keeping it off. I'd been going to the gym for ages but never really changed my eating habits before then.

I realised that the only way I was going to lose anything was to cut down my eating, the exercise, whilst important never made as much difference as the eating did.

I started small by literally just having soup every day for my lunch instead of my usual sandwich, crisps, chocolate bar and mug of tea. It was easier because I was in work so would just take soup with me so I couldn't have anything else. I appreciate it would be harder if you're in your house over lockdown as you have the distraction of other things. If you have an M&S near you though they do a really lovely range of soups.

Once I'd got into a routine of doing that (and I was already losing weight just from that!), I started trying to tidy up my snacking and changing it to fruit instead of crisps, chocolate etc... I don't really have any other suggestion other than pure will power and as you are doing already, stopping or cutting down on buying the shit stuff so it wasn't in the cupboards to tempt me and replacing it with fruit. I found if the chocolate wasn't in my cupboard but some strawberries were in the fridge, I was too lazy to go to the shop for chocolate and would just settle for the fruit which i actually found really enjoyable.

I also started trying to cook healthier meals. For a while I stopped having chips/mash/whatever carb with my tea so instead of meat, mash and veg I'd just have the meat and veg however that grew a bit dull after a while so I did revert to having the chips or mash or whatever it was again but a much smaller amount than before and trying to eat it last too so I often found I was too full to finish it whereas before I'd have been too full to finish my veg instead

It really is hard though, and I definitely had and still do have days where it all goes to pot. Those are just some of the little things I did which really seemed to make a huge difference. I lost two stone from doing that in under a year which I know you can do quicker but it was all I needed to lose and I still felt I was eating and not on some fad diet which helped with the motivation to carry on.

Cut out processed sugar from your diet. I have lost about 4 pounds just by cutting out all the biscuits, choc, cake etc. I have abused my body by binging on sugary crap for years. Am showing signs of insulin resistance as putting on belly fat (and there's a huge amount of diabetes in my family.) Am reaching the point where I have to take serious action otherwise I am going to make myself ill.

Have been off sugar for 5 weeks (not perfectly - have had a few minor slips) but I feel a lot healthier for it. My skin looks brighter, my gum disease has improved and I'm no longer have constant sugar crashes. Am aware that if I don't make a serious go of this, diabetes is coming for me, so determined to be strong this time.

@JinglingHellsBells

Yeah I agree all that info is already out there for free or cheap. I suppose some people are happy to pay for it to be all packaged together and put across the way they do. I don't have much time to devote to reading psychological research and nutrition articles, and would much rather just click through some facts and short articles for a few minutes every day in the easy to digest way they present them.

I agree that long term calorie counting isn't sustainable but some of us are unaware of just how much we are consuming or where all those extra calories and pounds are coming from, so I do think calorie counting short term can help to reset how we view our diet and educate us.

It might not work for everyone, but my thinking was that the first 2 weeks are free and after that it was still about a third of the price of my old gym membership so I'm happy enough.

I’ve been using the NHS recommended App calorie counter by nutra check to see what I’m eating and where I can make changes. I Log all my food and drink honestly each day. It’s really easy to use pictures to select etc and it’s helped me to understand portion sizes and what’s actually worth eating what’s not. Nothing’s off limits but if you log it you can see what effect it’s having on your daily energy intake. It’s not a quick fix weight loss but as you adjust what you want to eat 1-2lb a week comes off.

Here’s my two pennies - as someone who adores food and can’t diet! I come from a family in which virtually everyone is overweight, several female members morbidly, all of them dieted their entire life. Growing up, Sundays used to be about eating a huge lunch, then snack all afternoon. I remember at one point as a teenager, I decided I never wanted to feel the ache of an over-full stomach again and started thinking about food as nutrition, nourishment and fuel - eat until no longer hungry, include lots of fresh veg and fruit, drink lots of water and do some exercise (in the form of something I enjoy so it doesn’t feel like a chore). I managed to break the family pattern and maintain a healthy weight without ever dieting - that includes the occasional half jar of Nutella

I love pasta and have it often but I make sure that I weigh it before cooking and make my own sauces, make pizza from scratch, bread from scratch. No sugary drinks of any kind (my teeth thank me for that too) and I don’t put sugar in my coffee anymore (that took a few months getting used to but I find the taste buds adjust). I always have breakfast and I’m rarely tempted to snack before the afternoon (discovered overnight oats recently and they fill you up and keep you going until lunch just beautifully).

I read somewhere that for a nutritious meal, you should strive to have 5 colours on your plate and this too works for me well - it means half of the plate is various veggies and if you fill up on the good stuff, the body is less likely to panic over not receiving enough nutrients and go DING DING DING SEND MORE FOOD.

Eating out of boredom and eating your feelings is the toughest one to address Evenings are the worst, I always make myself a big jug of herbal tea after dinner as I’m less likely to dive into the sweetie cupboard with a cup in my hand. And if there is nothing in the sweetie cupboard, even better...

Generally I find that once the body is fuelled and exercised properly, the mind starts to feel clearer and happier and food becomes less of a focus.

@ChooksAndBooks Yes I hear you. It's great it worked for you. Years and years ago when I was a young teen and was getting chubby, I used a cheap tracker (I'm talking 50 years ago- I'm that old!) where you could eat whatever you wanted to but anything on the 'counted list' had to be clocked onto the tracker (this was not an app of course- it was simple handheld plastic box!) So, loads of 'free foods' were fine, but other things had points (maybe Slimming World is the same?) and you could go up to 10 points a day.
Obviously a bar of choc might have all 10 points.

I think the issue for many people and the OP is comfort eating.
There are plenty of tips around on this mainly distraction activities- like cleaning your teeth, phoning a friend, going for a walk.
They say that if you can delay the urge to gorge on something for around 30 seconds, you will get past it.

So you think- visualise yourself as slim- keep that image in your head- and walk away from the chocolate or whatever.

It IS a type of addiction, the same way that smokers need a kick from a fag if they are stressed or alcoholics reach for a drink if they are stressed.

But if it's sweet foods people crave, you can find healthier options like fruit or even 1 square of good chocolate grated on some yoghurt and fruit.

Not saying it's easy but in time you can educate your taste buds to find sweet stuff not so nice!

@JinglingHellsBells

Yes, it's little tips like the visualisation and setting yourself smaller more attainable goals that noom is really big on. I find it's very positive and builds up your confidence and equips you, rather than just saying stick to 1200/1500 calories a day by hook or by crook.

The food logging is a small part of it.

But I hope you find something that works for you OP.

Thank you again for all of the replies. Sorry I can't reply to every comment individually - I didn't expect to get so much help and advice so thank you.

Regarding diets which involve calorie counting or point counting, I find they just don't work for me. I end up saving up all of my calories or points for my comfort eating. Occasionally it would get bad enough that I would skip all of my meals just so I could eat a whole pint of ice-cream (for example) so that it could fit into my calorie allowance.

I know the relationship I want with food. I want to eat nutritionally, satiating food rather than empty carbs. I want to be able to eat dinner and the occasional dessert and then stop eating for the evening. I still want to be able to go out occasionally for a coffee and a cake with a friend or to have the occasional takeaway with it being part of a normal, balanced lifestyle.

I have started a food diary as I think being more mindful of when, what and why I am eating will help. Yesterday for example I had what I thought was a relaxing evening - I went for a walk in the countryside, spent time in the garden, etc. It got to around 9:30pm and I started craving junk food and it was only when writing in the food diary that I realised I felt agitated and tense. I have never noticed that before. Tonight I will try and purposefully relax with yoga or a bath and see if that can calm me instead.

The food diary sounds good.
I'm willing to bet that if you just tackle the evening junk food eating, without changing anything else you'll already start to lose weight and feel better.

I had insomnia last night,normally i get up and make toast and coffee.I didnt,but it meant i had to break my fast earlier.

So i had hard boiled eggs and wholemeal toast.

But the good news i weighed myself and ive lost 3lb already.Im delighted with myself.

@SittingAround1

The food diary sounds good. I'm willing to bet that if you just tackle the evening junk food eating, without changing anything else you'll already start to lose weight and feel better.

I agree with that.

@LaLaLandIsNoFun The book you have recommended, is it largely for exercises to do at the gym? With access to equipment etc

Yes thats a great start i think...recognising when you have a craving for junk food rather than real hunger. And it is about breaking habits which is sooo hard.
I have been trying other things to give me that dopamine hit.. a long bath usually helps. But sometimes i just go to bed! Or at least go upstairs after my dinner just to break the cycle. So when i finish my plateful i will get up and leave the table instead of just keeping on eating.

And the evenings on the sofa I have just had to think "well i would LOVE crisps and or wine right now- but it's only a thought, i don't have to act on it " and it passes. If it doesn't then u have a drink of water or a comforting hot cup of tea, or even a glass of fizzy water in a wine glass. Then it usually passes.
It's about recognising the thought and knowing that you don't necessarily have to act on it.
It helps me anyway.

I’m not sure if anyone has said this yet but I’ve found intuitive eating extremely helpful - it’s reset my relationship with food and I’ve lost weight and exercise more, feel much better overall.

I used Paul McKenna’s book (I Can Make You Thin, cringe title ) but there are loads of others out there. He combines intuitive ideas with a bit of (self) hypnosis which I found really effective.

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit - a lot of it you can improvise/adapt. There is plenty in there that also uses your own body weight too but to really really get results you’re going to need a gym at some point

I highly recommend the following for getting emotional/comfort eating under control.

toomuchonherplate.com/

shrinkyourself.com/

I've just read up about intuitive eating. So much of it rings true to gow I've been thinking. @fieldsofdaisies it might just be what you're looking for too if you want to get off the dieting rollercoaster.
I just quickly read the 10 steps of intuitive eating. I might explore it more for support.
Thank you to the PP for mentioning it.

Agree with a lot of the other posters. You need more nutritious and indulgent real meals - salads, curries etc

Instead of thinking of diets as hardship - why not go the other way and make healthy eating indulgent. I love Gousto for trying different meals and getting variety. If I only lived on toast and plain sandwiches, my body would crave food as it isn’t getting enough nutrition. They have some great veggie recipes which feel a treat.

In the evening, how about a Pukka tea? They are relatively expensive herbal teabags and satisfy that need to have something while watching TV. The Three Mint and Cleanse ones are good. Replacing one action (eating crisps) with another (drinking tea) makes it easier as you are still doing something. And the expense makes it feel indulgent.

Can i ask how many calories do i need to lose a good bit of weight.Im on 1800 at the minute

It really depends on your size and lifestyle @rayoflightboy have you checked different calculators for tdee? I would recommend using few different ones as results may slightly vary. I am on 6x1400 (but usually have 100 or 200 left over) and 1x3000, losing a kilo a week. Fat as fuck still but losing...

One thing. Don't go too low. Not only it's not good for your body, but you are also more likely to give up.

@SchrodingersImmigrant I'm 14 stone ATM.I want to lose 4 stone.
I would rather lose it slow and keep it off.

It is much better for long term and for your mind to go slower, so that's good! Check out the calculators and try few different numbers over the weeks. I played with it for a month or so to figure out the best combo so I could have a day "off" too.
You can do it😁

If you struggle with evening binges then can you try eat later so that you run out of time?

I’ve lost almost 3 stone using my fitness pal and a fitbit to always check my calories are under, I was really struggling with evening snacks though so I now have my breakfast at lunch time, lunch around 3 and then evening meal at half 8!

As soon as I’ve eaten I go for a walk or run, and buy a snack while I’m out to have when I get in, rather than having loads in the house I can’t resist (usually a dairy milk) then shower and go to bed when I get home!

I found it difficult to avoid huuuge evening meals so I started buying hello fresh and just not buying other food other than lunches and breakfast and it’s helped so much. Plus I have a takeaway once a fortnight. I am quite active (bootcamp, swim, yoga and run) but I put it all down to my diet.

Please don’t diet and restrict. I’m on the lowest end of healthy weight, but I know plenty of women (overweight or healthy bmi) that will restrict food all day and then binge at night because they’re hungry and craving something.

Eat 3 satisfying meals a day, make habits that you will actually maintain. Or else you’ll yo-yo.

I don’t diet and I don’t fast/eat within a strict time frame.