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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

eBay buyer hasn’t paid

29 replies

BruceAndMarley · 30/07/2020 09:31

Hi,

Not sure where to post this but just need advise.
My husband and I have sold something on eBay, and sent the parcel off on the day it sold. Had no issues with the seller giving us his details, he said it was a business account, his PayPal and everything seemed legit. My husband has sold lots of things on eBay before and never has issues.
Anyway the parcel got sent off and then we received information of PayPal about it being a scam, and that the man we’ve sent our parcel to is a scammer and that it’s not a legit account ?
My husband sent numerous messages to the man who kept on saying ‘I will pay bu X time, I will pay soon’ etc . I got fed up and sent him a message myself saying we have a baby on the way (due next month), we have been selling things to get a bit more money behind us, not necessary but we don’t use some of the things we sold so they were just taking up room. He then sent me messages apologising , saying please don’t involve the police (?!) and he’s going to send the parcel back to us unopened by Thursday (today) . So evidently he can’t afford to pay it or he has something to hide. He rang me and begged me not to call the police or to take it any further . I have it all documented .
If we don’t receive the parcel (which I have a feeling we won’t) , where do we stand ?
I know we’ve not paid for something and not received it so we haven’t technically lost money but we’ve lost an item worth over £100 and paid for special delivery etc so we’ve lost out in a sense.

Coming to MN for wise advise !
Thanks

OP posts:
GinDrinker00 · 30/07/2020 09:34

Why did you send the parcel without being paid first? I’m sorry but I don’t think you have a leg to stand on.... you wouldn’t go to the shops and take stuff and say you’ll pay them later... Confused

Cloudfrost · 30/07/2020 09:34

Too late now, but never send off an item until you are sure it has been paid. Involve the police and PayPal /ebay now to try and get the item or money back

Buttercupsandroses · 30/07/2020 09:35

I would report to the police op

contrmary · 30/07/2020 09:38

Unfortunately you'll probably have to treat this as an expensive lesson - never send goods until the buyer has paid.

I would contact the police, eBay and Paypal, regardless of whether the goods get returned. Even if they do, the buyer needs to be flagged up.

Original poster
BruceAndMarley · 30/07/2020 09:39

@GinDrinker00 because it all went through , saying pending payment etc , it wasn’t until 3 or so hours later after we posted it that it came back as a scam! It sounds ridiculous I know but it was all so believable . But now looking at it his PayPal image etc is a white guy and when he spoke to us he was Nigerian. I know it sounds unbelievable but I promise it’s not. We are so cheesed off

OP posts:
ChippyDucks150 · 30/07/2020 09:40

I can't see what the police would do tbh, you willingly sent a high value item without receiving payment?
If you don't receive it back today, I think you need to take this one on the chin OP.

Original poster
BruceAndMarley · 30/07/2020 09:41

@contrmary Ok thank you, will do. I wasn’t sure if I could maybe contact 121 as non emergency crime or if I was wasting their time. But I suppose if he does this to a lot of people and nobody reports it then he’ll just carry on. I like to think he will return it but I really don’t think he will

OP posts:
DaisyDairy · 30/07/2020 09:43

Definitely agree with others saying never to post before payment is received.

If PayPal made it look like the payment had been sent and they've later withdrawn it as a scam, maybe you could try to contact them for help. Otherwise I think you'll just have to write it off as a lesson learned I'm afraid.

BanningTheWordNaice · 30/07/2020 09:43

I have a colleague whose white, “naice” middle class sister used to do this so let’s not go down the road of its more likely to be a scam because he’s got a Nigerian accent. Payment pending is usually an e-cheque which means it’s cancellable and I believe eBay usually tell you not to send until it’s cleared. You can report to PayPal and eBay, not sure you’ll get your money back. I believe the police were involved with my colleagues sister but usually I’m not sure they do get involved with things like this.

notfunnynow · 30/07/2020 09:44

You’ve been scammed. You NEVER send an item until you see the money in your account. Call the police. Message the person to say you are calling the police

Ickabog · 30/07/2020 09:44

because it all went through , saying pending payment etc

If a payment is pending on Paypal there's usually a message saying do not send any items until the payment has cleared.

DDemelza · 30/07/2020 09:48

Yeah, OP gets it. She made a mistake.

It's shit when you get scammed, OP. I would report the crime.

Original poster
BruceAndMarley · 30/07/2020 09:49

Lesson learned I know. It’s never happened before and we’ve both had so much on we didn’t think and were very much ‘Whilst we are out we might as well post it’ and didn’t give it a second thought.
@BanningTheWordNaice no no sorry I wasn’t for one minute saying because he sounded Nigerian that it was a scam, I meant that his profile pic was a white man but he was Nigerian to talk to which obviously stands out

OP posts:
CodenameVillanelle · 30/07/2020 09:50

I'm sorry OP
You made a mistake sending it while payment was pending. This doesn't mean payment is cleared. There is nothing you can do now.

Original poster
BruceAndMarley · 30/07/2020 09:50

@DDemelza thank you it’s so rubbish. Trying to just help ourselves out a bit, and then this happens and it just really takes the mick. We’ve learned our lesson but it doesn’t make it any easier hearing ‘Never send without payment first’

OP posts:
CottonSock · 30/07/2020 09:52

Have you tried escalating with eBay first? They are usually helpful.

StatementKnickers · 30/07/2020 09:54

I think you should involve the police. He should have been able to provide proof of posting as soon as he sent it back (if he had actually done that). Was it a UK address that you sent it to?

millymae · 30/07/2020 09:58

This is all very odd, and made worse by the fact that you posted something before payment had been received. It’s all very well being wise after the event but doing this was a schoolboy error and unless your buyer stays true to his word (which seems unlikely) then I think you’ll have to write off your £100.
However I would question why, if PayPal knew he was a scammer they didn’t have a block on the account being used.- they are quick enough to block access to money paid Into sellers accounts for goods that buyers raise a case about.

EatsShootsAndRuns · 30/07/2020 10:00

Oh dear. Expensive lesson to learn. You could phone PayPal but I feel they'll just reiterate what has been said. I'm really sorry this has happened to you. Sad

Original poster
BruceAndMarley · 30/07/2020 10:02

I’ll get my husband to contact PayPal and eBay when he gets home from work as it’s all under his account so not much I can do now I guess. Just needed some advise really. We both feel very silly . @StatementKnickers yes it’s an address in Croydon . I have his mobile number too and he hasn’t responded today.

OP posts:
Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 30/07/2020 10:04

Sorry OP - but I suspect you'll need to chalk this one up to experience and write it off.

You will be able to get your ebay fees back by raising a 'payment not received' case - that will at least mean you haven't wasted another £10 or so.

TheLastDynasty · 30/07/2020 10:04

I’m so sorry OP, that’s such a shame. Next time definitely wait until you have the funds in your account. I would also report to the police.

Original poster
BruceAndMarley · 30/07/2020 10:06

Thanks everyone for being kind and not jumping on me. Definitely is a lesson learned. Here are his messages apologising the other day, but I just know he won’t send it back. Scammers are good aren’t they ?

eBay buyer hasn’t paid
eBay buyer hasn’t paid
OP posts:
Original poster
BruceAndMarley · 30/07/2020 10:07

So I sent those messages on the day the parcel had already left our post office, and by the time we went back to see if we could stop it, the van had literally just taken it and they said they couldn’t stop it so it would’ve got to him that day or the day after . So annoying

OP posts:
Mydogisthebestest · 30/07/2020 10:08

Just go to the police and eBay.

Sorry - but don’t send anything without payment in future.

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