To think it's rude when people put me on loud speaker on the phone without telling me?

[Nickelallergy891]

DM always does this! One minute I can hear her, the next I can hear pots and pans and my own voice echoing (and knowing her DP can hear every word).... Sometimes I've even heard her weeing in the background! 😳🤣

Not just DM either - Some friends do this too.

I rarely put people on speaker phone but if I do I always say "Do you mind if pop you on speaker for a mo as I'm just doing XYZ".

I feel like this one is going to divide the crowd!
AIBU in wanting a heads up?

I think it's fine if they warn you though, unless you can't hear them on speaker.

I find that cultivating a reputation for sweariness dissuades people with children from putting one on speaker without warning.

My dad and step mum do this even if they have visitors - and they don’t tell me someone else is there. They also do it with others when I am there so I go into another room until they’ve finished. I hate it.

I hate it because the sound quality back from them speaking at a distance is atrocious - and the people who do it only bark louder when you say you can't hear them properly because of the 'background' noise and that they are apparently shouting from inside a chest in a cupboard three offices along from where the phone has been carefully placed inside a metal wastepaper bin filled with treacle

So I say there's a problem with the line and we'd better do this by email/bye/hang up on them. Which normally sorts them out, as they're the sort of people who never seem to want a trail or proof of anything they've said for some reason. And if they do pick up the handset for a change, I'll say 'Oh, the line's much clearer today, I can hear you'.

They are aware I have Tinnitus. They choose to ignore it.

I don't mind if they are alone and pottering at the same time. I bloody do mind if they have someone else there that can hear me. To be fair I'm not really sure why I am not generally of the inclination to be mean about people randomly but who knows , I might want to share random information about a dog I saw on the street 3 minutes ago and I prefer to hide my slightly odd butterfly mind from most people.

I only ever use speakerphone. Why tie myself to the phone when I can have both hands free?

But then again I live alone, and probably wouldn't do this if there were others around.

I always have people on speaker. But the only people I call are my mum, my partner and my health visitor, and it’s usually to do with my baby - so no issue really!

I currently have to put everyone on speaker as my earpiece doesn't work so I can't hear anything otherwise. If there is anyone else with me, I will always tell the person on the phone though.

@Keha Oh, that made me cringe! The horror of being unexpectedly forced to socialise on someone else's phone conversation (I promise that's sincere - the introvert in me is shuddering!) 😱

On a related note, I used to play a prank on my sister where I would ring our grandma - who talked for England - and then before she picked up shout "SISTER! Grandma's on the phone!", throw her the phone and then they would both be pulled into an unexpected conversation Quite a mean trick for a 10 year old!?

Not rude imo.but people going to the toilet whilst on the phone with you is disgusting and 50 shades of wrong 🤢

I always use speaker now as my phone seems to kill the call otherwise. My ears seem to turn the torch function on and the call ends. It's also the only way I cen get through a convo with my lovely mum these days as its so repetitive.

Oh gawd my Mum does this. Rattling away and then I’ll hear her chatting about something that makes no sense and I’ll say “Mum you talking to me?” “Oh sorry your Dad just came in and wanted to know xyz” (something pointless like is it the recycling bins tonight) and I just think it’s so rude.

I think it’s courteous to give someone a heads up if other people can hear what they’re saying.
It’s like on conference calls at work - it’s polite to let those on the phone know who is listening in the room.

I don't think being on speaker is an issue pre se, but they should not do it if there are other people in the room, without giving you the heads up / asking if you are okay with it.

I have my workphone on speaker most of the time, as it means I can then be typing up the information as it is given, but I wfh so there is no-one else to hear it.

Yanbu at all, I hate it.

Ds2 puts all his calls on loudspeaker and default and if I am there I always make sure I say something to make it obvious I am present, because it seems so rude to me not to tell the person on the other end who can hear them.

Hate this. I also hate when my aunt forwards on my private emails to her to other family members

Also hate when adults "share" an email address

It's a huge breach of privacy IMO. If I'm talking to someone on the phone, I assume I'm speaking only to them, and my conversation reflects that. I don't expect to be eavesdropped on.

Yes rude they should tell you because it normally means they are busy doing something else so why not just offer to call the person back
In saying that though if someone calls me when i am driving it automatically goes through the car speakers but I always let them know they are on my car speakers

My mobile phone calls come through my hearing aids. So to the caller it sounds like it’s on speaker but it isn’t. Could this be happening?

I hate it too. I don't mind being in speakerphone at all as long as I know I am, but some people don't get this at all! I ruined a birthday surprise for DS as when I phoned my ex to discuss it, he put me on speakerphone without bothering to tell me (DS was in the background and heard every word).

Worst of all though is when my kids Skype people without telling me first! I'm not trying to stop them communicating with people, but I'd like to have warning so I don't walk into the room in just a towel. Had to have words about that with DS2 as he started excitedly skyping Grandma and her bf regularly, often just when I was getting dressed or getting out of the shower, or having a shout at DS1 in the background!

Also hate when adults "share" an email address

Oh god, yes. Or a FB account. Why? There's not a limited number of email addresses per household! I don't want your husband reading every word I send too!

Can't get worked up about it, it's their phone they can do what they want with it.

People share a Facebook account?! Ick!

With me it's either speaker phone or my wing nut ears have a great time randomly hanging up mid conversation. I do live by myself though. If I'm at work it's only manners to let people know who is in the office if you put them on speaker.