Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To allow a ten year old to walk home from school alone?

107 replies

hibbledobble · 29/07/2020 14:46

She will be in year 5.

Options will be very limited as au pairs virtually non-existent due to leaving the EU and covid-19, after-school club likely not running (and pretty poor if it does), and no childminders I know collect from the school. Plus at her age she would hate being with a childminder.

She is very keen, and thinking of getting her a phone so she can call us if needed. Walk approximately 10 minutes.

It would be to an empty home though, and alone for up to 2 hours.

OP posts:
isabellerossignol · 30/07/2020 08:01

@MarthasGinYard

I'm stunned so many think this ok

Our school wouldn't allow this

At my children's school, and all the other schools in our area, children are handed over to an adult from P1 to P3. From P4 onwards, so age 7, they leave on their own. The teachers wouldn't have a clue how anyone is getting home, it's the parents responsibility.
ShandlersWig · 30/07/2020 08:08

Our school wouldnt allow this until year 6.

daisypond · 30/07/2020 08:11

Walking home alone is fine and would be actively encouraged by my DC primary school (inner London), but two hours alone at home isn’t so great.

Seracursoren · 30/07/2020 08:12

The walk home, is she surrounded by other children and parents? If so that would be safer than her being alone, and seen to be alone, day after day.

On arriving home how safe would she be getting into the house safely ie unlocking the door, removing the key, then opening the door, inserting the key from the other side and locking herself in before deactivating the alarm? Can she go to a neighbour or another parent if something went wrong.

The leaving a snack is the biggest issue I would have as she could choke.

TheStarOnTheChristmasTree · 30/07/2020 08:14

Not a problem at all if your DD is happy doing this OP. My DD did this from year 5 starting just before she was 10.

formerbabe · 30/07/2020 08:14

I find it astonishing that so many children are not walking home from school at 9/10

I assume then that you don't have children in primary school currently in the UK... because it's not in the least bit astonishing...and most schools wouldn't release a nine year old at the end of the school day if there wasn't an adult there to collect.

BlueBoar · 30/07/2020 08:20

My DS started walking to and from school just before lockdown (he was Y5, but still 9). No roads to cross and usually with a friend or people from our estate. I made him put his WhatsApp location on as soon as he got his phone from the office and keep it on for an hour as sometimes he was turning it off when he got home and I couldn’t see him any more. We both have iPhones so could use that tracker as well. He was great, let himself in, had a small snack - not allowed to use kettle, toaster or oven/hob and sat watching TV for max 30 mins until I got home. Obviously he has not done that for many months so we will have a few training runs before he goes back into Y6.

Not sure two hours is desirable but if it’s only a couple of times a week then maybe. I left DS on his own for two hours last week - he literally did not move off his bean bag and he was playing Xbox with his friends so one of the mums was keeping an ear/eye on him that way.

isabellerossignol · 30/07/2020 08:20

I assume then that you don't have children in primary school currently in the UK... because it's not in the least bit astonishing...and most schools wouldn't release a nine year old at the end of the school day if there wasn't an adult there to collect.

I get the impression from reading Mumsnet that it's not the UK, but England? I'm in the UK, but in N Ireland and I've never heard of a school here insisting on children being collected at the gate at the age of 10. Once my children hit P4, I never had any interaction with school staff at all except twice a year at parent teacher interviews.

SnuggyBuggy · 30/07/2020 08:22

The leaving a snack is the biggest issue I would have as she could choke.

Is that something parents are still expected to worry about with 10 year olds? When can we stop supervising their eating?

FruitLoopyLoo · 30/07/2020 08:32

The leaving a snack is the biggest issue I would have as she could choke

I wouldn't be concerned about DSS choking on a snack at 10 to be honest.

formerbabe · 30/07/2020 08:37

If we're worrying about a ten year old choking, the only logical step is to never leave anyone, even adults, alone ever

SnuggyBuggy · 30/07/2020 08:41

I was thinking does that mean when eating alone its only safe to eat soup?

Porcupineinwaiting · 30/07/2020 08:47

Y5 is fine for walking home if the route is safe. 2 hours at home alone - depends on the child.

PhilSwagielka · 30/07/2020 08:50

Has she got a group of friends she can walk with? I did at her age. Tbh I think ten is old enough.

daisypond · 30/07/2020 08:52

most schools wouldn't release a nine year old at the end of the school day if there wasn't an adult there to collect.
The OP is talking about a ten year old. And I can assure you that in the U.K. my DC’s primary actively encouraged, urged, ordered parents to let their ten-year-old DC to go to or from school alone, including on public transport. It was deemed crucial for children to start practising, ready for secondary school where most would have much longer and moe complicated journeys, many involving tubes, trains or buses - to be done alone. Parents were told to phone in to the school office if they wanted to check their child had arrived safely and in time.

TimeWastingButFun · 30/07/2020 08:52

The walk is ok if any roads have crossings, but 2 hours alone at home... too young imo.

formerbabe · 30/07/2020 08:53

@daisypond I responding to a specific comment

Thegereldine3000 · 30/07/2020 08:55

If she wants to do it let her.

CherryPavlova · 30/07/2020 08:57

No wonder children are becoming so anxious and dependent.
Of course a ten year old can walk home, make a snack or cook supper and survive a couple of hours on their own.
Just get them to text that they’ve arrived home safely.

CherryPavlova · 30/07/2020 08:59

It is not for the school to determine how a child gets home.

Tumbleweed101 · 30/07/2020 09:01

Yes, will be fine if you have a sensible and confident child who can contact someone in an emergency.

Mine has just finished Y6 so is 11 now but I’ve been letting her walk home alone and be home alone over last couple of years and she’s been fine and enjoyed it. It sets them up gradually for being more independent at secondary school too.

Porcupineinwaiting · 30/07/2020 09:01

@formerbabe but I dont think what you are saying is true. For one thing it's not something schools can have a blanket rule on (at least one that cant be challenged). The decision about travel to and from school is one for parents. If school think a particular child is being placed at risk they can involve social services but they have no legal basis for saying "no Y5 child will be released without an adult present to collect".

Stompythedinosaur · 30/07/2020 09:03

I have a dc about the start y5 - she is 9 rather than 10 though. Are you talking about a dc who's finishing y5 and moving into y6 if they are already 10?

I would be fine with the walk but not with leaving her alone for 2 hours after school. My dd still goes to a childminder, and there are kids several years older than her there too.

chillandrelax · 30/07/2020 09:04

My August born y6 will be doing this 2 days a week from September. I will see how he gets on.

TeacupDrama · 30/07/2020 09:06

Well in September they are not allowing parents on premises and discouraging hanging around gate so my guess is lots of older children will be walking home alone as parents not collecting all kids at same time. In our primary only P1-2 (YR&Y1) are released specifically to parents, older kids just leave, they walk back to teacher if they were expecting to be met and weren't 20 years ago children walked home alone at 7-8 years old, the numbers of children in car accidents has fallen since then they are in no greater danger in reality than 20years ago but perception of risk has increased the real risk has not