To allow a ten year old to walk home from school alone?

[hibbledobble]

She will be in year 5.

Options will be very limited as au pairs virtually non-existent due to leaving the EU and covid-19, after-school club likely not running (and pretty poor if it does), and no childminders I know collect from the school. Plus at her age she would hate being with a childminder.

She is very keen, and thinking of getting her a phone so she can call us if needed. Walk approximately 10 minutes.

It would be to an empty home though, and alone for up to 2 hours.

Sorry typo there... hes going into yr6

That’s really strange as there is no way I would let my Year 5 DC walk home alone but would have no problem with them being home alone for 2 hours.

Not judging anyone, as I’m clearly in the minority.

Get her a phone. She sounds ready for it.
I'd enlist a friendly neighbour or a nearby school mum if you can who she could run to in an emergency.
And no cooking/baths/dangerous activities whatever rules you think need to be in place.
It sounds totally fine. Many 18 year olds are unable to boil an egg and the parents are flabbergasted as to how that happens.
Gradual independence is the way to go!

It depends so much on the individual child, and you know her best. Some children at this age it would be an absolute no, others it would be fine (I work with this age group).

I would make sure she has a phone and get her to check in with you when she gets home so that you know she's got home safe. Then she can get hold of you for help at any time if she needs to. If you have reliable neighbours you know are likely to be in then make sure she knows she can go to them if she needs to.

It's perhaps not ideal but then nor is her being utterly miserable in childcare.

@Dementedswan

My 10 year old, now going into yr5 has walked to school and back home again. We started out him walking a head within earshot, got him a phone and then allowed him to walk by himself once I was confident he was sensible enough. However I still walk my youngest so see hes got to school safe and we live in a neigh our good where everyone knows everyone. I'm always home for when he gets back tho, he has to come straight home. On the odd occasion hes back before me he waits in the front garden. I wouldnt give him keys go let himself in and fend for himself for a few hours. Hes sensible but... I dont believe a 10 year old is old enough to handle emergencies.

I hate seeing children hanging around waiting outside houses after school. I always worry that they are so obviously alone it makes them very vulnerable. I'd rather mine had a key and were safely inside. Then I know my children are sensible and wouldn't do anything dangerous in the house. Possibly I'd think differently if they weren't.

I think the walk to/from school is a great idea.

2 hours alone after school a couple days a week is not ideal but OK, assuming she is responsible sensible and risk-averse! Better if you can swap days around. It doesn’t sound like there are any better options.

Make sure there is someone nearby she can go to if she needs help (neighbour, friend a couple minutes walk away, etc).

You could get her to phone you when she gets home, then you could call her later on to check in. Make sure she knows she can always phone for anything and you’ll help her out without getting cross at the daft thing she’s done.

Get a Ring doorbell so you can see that she gets in OK and no one else is around.

Agree in advance what snack she can/can’t have and what she is and isn’t allowed to do (eg can’t use the oven/grill/hob, but can use kettle and microwave, she’s not to light the fire but she can switch central heating on, etc).

You’ll need to be strict and vigilant over internet/social media use.

Personally I wouldn’t leave for two hours (I’m quite liberal, and I’ve been slaughtered on Aibu before for leaving kids for less!).

I'd be very happy with the walk home and often let my yr 5 go to the post box/Park etc.

There is no way I'd want them home alone for 2 hours regularly though. I had to do that at secondary and in the dark eves in winter it was awful getting back to an empty, cold and dingy house and having to do all the curtains/lights and get my own snack etc.

My 10 yr old goes to a childminder very happily, loves it. Why do you think yours would dislike it so much?

Like others, the walk wouldn't bother me, I think it's very normal for a ten year old to walk home without an adult. But the coming home to an empty house would bother me.

I think high school is a more appropriate age for this as a regular arrangement. But only you know your child.

My dcs school allows kids to walk home from year 5, but virtually none of them do. I think it's still quite young personally but not a huge deal if they do. Big difference between the start of year five and the end though.

Two hours at home is not ok and in winter it will be dark. Imagine if it's pouring with rain and they're wresting with their bags, trying to find their house key, then in an empty house whilst it's dark outside.

I have twins in year 5, 10 minute walk home, school doesn’t let them until year 6. They are not ready to walk - they mess about together a lot and I wouldn’t trust them to walk safely yet.
I wouldn’t leave them alone for 2 hours either. However they are competent in the kitchen and have no problem with them making their own lunch and snacks. They’re all different so you have to make the decision depending on the child.

I find it astonishing that so many children are not walking home from school at 9/10.

My son walked home from school by himself when he was ten and eleven, and was then home alone until 5.30 - 6. It was fine, although not ideal.

Do the school have an after school club, that would solve the problem, unless of course the OP is trying to save money on after school care.

You know your child.

If she's sensible then I don't see why not. You can leave a sandwich / snack for her.

I'd consider leaving her something to do, a bit of a surprise eg a new book or a jigsaw (Not the piles of potatoes I was expected to peel at 8).

Is there a neighbour / friend who could get there in an emergency?

I'm stunned so many think this ok

Our school wouldn't allow this

DS did this at just turned 11. A mike walk home, some of it along country lane with no footpaths, then home alone for an hour and a half. Only one neighbour close by who worked ft. Only did it once a week however and would have been hesitant in year 5.

Was about to write the same as @blostree.

In lower/middle/upper school area, all middle school children would be walking home alone from year 5 upwards, and no one would blink an eyelid. In fact, there would’ve more blink of an eyelid if there was a parent with them.

My dd will be year 6 in September. She walked home from school, approx 10 minute walk as part of a group with her friends during year 5. Gran could have picked her up but she wanted to walk, be more grown up etc. She walked to her Grans though, I wouldn't have felt comfortable with her going home to an empty house. We haven't actually left her alone in the house at all yet but she is a young 10 as she just had her birthday a fortnight ago.

No, not until year 6.

We have just started allowing 10yr old DSS to walk the dog alone (only round the block kind of thing). I feel a lot more comfortable with that because he's got the dog with him and tbf he actually loves it, gets excited to go!

I also don't think loneliness in the house would be my concern either as he would likely just come in and play games, I don't think he'd be bothered at all! And again, with our dog in the house I'd feel a lot more comfortable about it. Do you have one? I know not all dogs are necessarily hugely protective but I think they can often be a deterrent and it certainly makes me feel more comfortable when he's out with him.

To be honest I think it really depends on the child. Knowing DSS, I probably wouldn't leave him for 2 hours or like him walking 10 minutes from school but that's mainly because he's not really been given much independence before this so I'd feel like we had to build up to this. I think he's mature enough, don't get me wrong but I wouldn't feel comfortable just suddenly springing this on him.

However, you know your child better than any of us here.

10 years and Yr5? I assume a very early September birthday.

My dd was allowed to walk home/to school alone from end of Year 5 onwards. However she didn’t want to every day, she liked the option to walk with me. In fact on occasion she would leave but come back 5 mins later.
Like most of the pps I wouldn’t have a problem with the walk or the home alone but the two together worries me. Too many “what ifs” for a just-turned 10 to worry about.

My son is an early Sept birthday going into Year 5. He won’t be walking alone for a long time yet but there are other things to take into account for him.

I also think it depends on the child. I was in year 7 when I was 10, and had been walking home by myself for a while at that stage. The being at home alone is something only you can decide OP as you know your child, but as long as she is sensible and has plans in place should anything go wrong it should be okay.

I'd say walking home alone ok.
2 hrs alone at home ok.
BUT, the combination isnt great.
That said - you've mentioned it would only be a couple of times a week.

What happens if you try it and she decides it's not actually ok. What would you do then?