To think it's OK that DS doesn't want to cycle ?

[IHeartKingThistle]

DS is nearly 11. He's a bit cautious by nature but will happily swim and throw himself into football tackles. He just hates bikes. We taught him to ride across the park when he was 8, which he did, but he is very clear that he never wants to do it again. His point is that it's not a life skill like swimming and if he doesn't want to he shouldn't have to. I think it's something to do with having both feet off the floor but whatever, we have accepted his feelings on the matter.

He's going to stay with my parents next week and my mum has just texted to say she's got him a second hand bike to get him cycling. God knows why. He's now worried about going.

I've told her not to pressure him and she'll be fine, but it's made me wonder - has anyone else got a bike-averse child and surely it's OK not to make him do it? It would be lovely to go on family bike rides but making him do it just seems mean. I mean, I hate going to gigs so DH just goes with someone else - no one makes me! Or should I be making him try again?

@heartsonacake 8 was when DH put his foot down and went 'if you ride across the park and show me you can do it we'll back off'. We'd been trying before that but when he was really little he was obsessed with his micro scooter. He still loves scooting actually.

I didn’t learn to cycle as a child because my parents didn’t cycle (they can, just don’t). I needed to cycle at uni so I learnt then at 20, and I cycle in London now without too much drama. If he needs to do it at some point he’ll have a bit more motivation then I’m sure!

It isn't really a life skill...

I can ride a bike, but haven't for probably 20 years plus.

When he's a teenager, and all his mates are on bikes, likely he'll change his mind in due course.
I'd personally leave it, and let a bit of healthy peer pressure sort it out in the next few years.

I am like your son in that I hate the idea of riding on a bike. I know how to cycle and I’ve been on bike rides before but I never enjoy it. I spend the entire time worried I’m going to fall off, worried I’ll go too fast and not be able to stop, worried I’ll crash into someone/something, worried about falling behind the people I’m with, worried I’ll miss a turning, worried about cars and countless other things. The mere idea of getting on a bike makes me feel very anxious and sick and I’ve no desire to ever get on a bike again. Please make sure he knows that he doesn’t have to cycle if he doesn’t want to

It was only a life skill at university (not allowed cars, lectures could be up to an hour’s walk away, cycling was much faster) and even then a few people just walked because either they had no bike or couldn’t ride one. I’d leave him to make the decision if and when it’s worth it for him.

He might like it better now he's a bit older. When I got my first full size bike it was basically too big for me and I hated it and didn't use it for a year. Next time I tried it, I was tall enough and took to it much better. But I certainly wouldn't stress him out by making it an issue.

Yanbu. Everyone Is different and if he doesnt like it then it's not the end of the world. He shouldnt be pressured into something he doesnt want to do. not everyone can cycle and its fine.

Leave him be unless he decides he's into it. I hate people nag-bullying or pressuring tweens about stuff like this. They're old enough to have valid preferences and interests which should be respected- they're starting to lay down their adult selves.

In theory I can ride a bike. In practice, as a hypermobile dyspraxic, no way. I would have refused any attempts to get me on a bike anywhere but my own lovely smooth front drive as an 11/12 yo. Quite rudely and firmly if I felt pushed. I had no interest once I'd learnt - I'd proved I could do it, now shut up about it- and didn't feel safe other than on my own smooth drive without anyone to patonise me into the bargain. I wouldn't cycle now, either and I wouldn't encourage any child of mine to cycle.

DD never really rode a bike until she started mountain biking in her late teens. Like the OP, we live up a very steep hill. Fit, adult cyclists find it challenging.

I don't think it's mattered to me. Never had the desire to learn to ride. Never regretted not learning.

I agree with DS if he doesn't want to he shouldn't have to,It is a shame your parent bought a bike without asking.I don't know what you mean by your parent not pressuring him but I would tell her if he says he does not wan to ride it then to just say ok and leave it at that.

I was a total wuss as a child, never slid on the ice slides in the playground in cold snaps; never dared try to do a handstand etc.
My quite fierce grandma took it upon herself to get me cycling when she came to stay when I was about 7, she was appalled I still had stabilisers!
I don’t think she realised quite what she was taking on but she had grit and eventually I could do it. I’m so grateful to her, I’d have missed out on hanging out on bikes with friends as a child and teenager; great bike rides on holidays; and a fast and cheap commute for a couple of years when I was too skint to run a car.

I’m still not brave, I never did wheelies or skids, but I think it is okay to sometime push children a little outside of their comfort zone, obviously stopping short of humiliating or endangering them.

To me it is a life skill. I cycled regulalry to work in my previous job, cheaper then a second car,. I cycled to school. I cycled to work in London. (No licence ant the time and quicker then public transport.)
I wouldn,t force it but def encourage it.

YANBU I don’t see it as a life skill, the last time I went on a bike I was about 10 and I’ve managed the following 26 years of my life without going on one!

My eldest ds(9) isn’t interested, he had a bike when younger which we encouraged but he just didn’t like it and has never wanted a bike again despite us offering to get one and going and trying them in shops.