To think it's OK that DS doesn't want to cycle ?

[IHeartKingThistle]

DS is nearly 11. He's a bit cautious by nature but will happily swim and throw himself into football tackles. He just hates bikes. We taught him to ride across the park when he was 8, which he did, but he is very clear that he never wants to do it again. His point is that it's not a life skill like swimming and if he doesn't want to he shouldn't have to. I think it's something to do with having both feet off the floor but whatever, we have accepted his feelings on the matter.

He's going to stay with my parents next week and my mum has just texted to say she's got him a second hand bike to get him cycling. God knows why. He's now worried about going.

I've told her not to pressure him and she'll be fine, but it's made me wonder - has anyone else got a bike-averse child and surely it's OK not to make him do it? It would be lovely to go on family bike rides but making him do it just seems mean. I mean, I hate going to gigs so DH just goes with someone else - no one makes me! Or should I be making him try again?

I'm 60+ and have never owned or even tried to ride a bike. I suppose in retrospect I wish I had but situation has never arisen. It's not had a negative effect on my life.

I'm 29 and I can't ride a bike as was never taught as a child, I've tried to learn so many times as an adult but I just can't grasp it.

Honestly, I have found it so limiting as it's not a commuting option for me, I can't go on group bike rides with friends when on holidays etc - and frankly it's embarrassing being an adult who can't ride a bike.

I don't want to say force him, but he really will regret it when he's older.

Idon't want to say force him, but he really will regret it when he's older

The DS has been taught, and can ride a bike though. He just doesn't want to.

I would just leave it. If there comes a point where having a bike is part of his social set then he will just get on and do it.

Tell your parents that biking is not his thing.

As he’s not missing out socially, I agree it’s better not to force the issue. It’s not necessary to be able to cycle.

He doesn’t like it. Stop pushing the issue.

I'm with your son - can cycle, don't want to. Leave him be and he'll be fine. Not wanting to go on boring bike rides hasn't held me back

I have always hated cycling. It's only literally been the last few months when my company started a cyclescheme to get people to ride to work that I started cycling. I now love it and use my bike to go everywhere whenever possible, and my son has started to come with me which is brilliant. But I'm in my 30s and this is the first time I can honestly say I really like it. As a kid I did it, but I was never a massive fan.

Don't make him do it, and tell your mum that she can suggest it as something to do, but if he doesn't want to, she's not to push it, or he won't want to come and stay again. And that would be a massive shame.

I learnt to ride a bike as a child but I really wasn't confident and I hated it. Had a nasty fall off that completely put me off. My parents were seperated and every time I went to see my dad he'd pressure me into trying again and it really put me off going, and made me feel a bit inadequate. I really wouldn't push it - he's tried, he doesn't like it, he can try again in the future if he fancies it.

I have tried a couple of times as an adult. That thing about how you never forget how to ride a bike - not true! So I'm happy to remain a non bike rider! I think DH would like it if we could go for family bike rides but he is welcome to go by himself or with friends and we have lots of other activities we enjoy as a family. Hopefully once the DCs are bigger he can go out with them and I can have some quiet time!

I have 2 boys that loved their bikes from the age of 3, i have one that didn't learn until he was 14 and one who is nearly 19 and has never been near a bike. Your Son will survive life if he doesn't learn to cycle. Let him choose

If you are the sort of family that enjoy family bike rides it's odd that you didn't push him to get over this when he was younger, especially as he's proved that he's physically capable. Some children take to cycling from the start, but most of them need firm encouragement and lots of reinforcement/practice when they're little and first learning! But at 11, it's a bit late for that. If he doesn't want to cycle at his grandparents, it's not their place to try and make him. He may have cycling friends at secondary school and peer pressure will do the trick, but it's not the end of the world if he never gets into riding a bike. He's the only one that will lose out.

Your work is done. He knows how and always will (it's just like riding a bike...) And if he never wants to, like others say, so what.

I learned as a child but never much enjoyed it. Got back into it in my 30s when my own children learned and now love it. But that's mainly because I live in the 1970s now and everyone cycles here so it's fairly safe and easy.

My nine year old is scared of riding her bike, so doesn’t. She’s never fallen off and has never ridden without anyone pretending to hold on. She used to love her bike and trike when she was tiny. She’s been and had lessons to learn to ride and was left feeling very untrusting of grown ups when it comes to bikes. She cried most of the time. So, the bike’s just there waiting for her to be ready for it.

@Didiplanthis that's interesting, he ticks a lot of the boxes for dyspraxia and I'm hoping to get him tested.

When DS was 3 we bought a second hand balance bike. Big mistake! He got on it, got his foot caught, fell off and hasn't wanted anything to do with bikes since. He's now 8 and has no inclination to learn how to ride.

Given he can ride his bike, and you don't need him to do so regularly, I'd leave it. And I say that as someone who will probably cycle further than I travel in a car this year (and we own a vehicle). We've chosen to live somewhere where cycling is how you get to places - e.g. we went to the library this morning, the one that's open is 2 miles away which is a fair walk, and it would have taken longer to drive plus parking in the city centre is expensive. When DH moved here, he hadn't ridden since he was a young child. But he could ride, and also cycles everywhere now - if your DS needs to cycle in the future, he'll be able to pick it up again.

I was like this as a child, people kept on at me thinking if they persisted I'd magically be able to ride a bike and it was miserable. I still can't (did try as an adult just to see, but nope). Whatever I've got is hereditary as my eldest son is just the same. Works ok for us, husband and other son go bike riding and we do something else.

My husband never learned to cycle as a child, no idea why, benign neglect probably. At 18 he had to very quickly learn how as his summer job working with kids involved a bike trip! He then bought a bike in his mid 20s and is now really into cycling.

I shouldnt worry, if its important to him at a later date he'll learn.

I'm bike averse myself. I'd consider it if there were more segregated cycle lanes but I cycled on the road once and would never do it again as I didn't feel safe. I doubt my DC will even learn as there aren't a lot of safe places to cycle round our way.

I rode all the time as a kid until I went over the handlebars of my bike and split my head open. I tried riding again a few years ago but can't seem to balance anymore and kept falling over. Can't say not cycling has ever caused me many issues.

No kids round here have bikes, or at least they don't ride them around

Didn’t you teach him to ride when he was little? You know, a lot earlier than 8?

I think it's important to try to encourage him but not to the point of pushiness. Mine both like to cycle and often ride to the river for a swim (with us) - the 12 year old sometimes cycles to his friends houses or the park. But probably if your son has a friend into cycling at some point then he'll want to do it too!

My DS learnt to ride a bike at a similar age to your DS. He was not a confident rider and probably still isn't to be honest. We did encourage family bike rides to encourage and support him to be more confident.

He then got a paper round that required him to ride his bike, which he did for two years. Once he finished his paper round at 16 (he is now 20), he has never been on a bike again.

I'm pleased we persevered with encouraging him to ride with us. We never did long rides and made sure they were enjoyable. If we hadn't done that when the opportunity for the paper round came up I don't think he would have been able to take it if I'm honest.

He also had a couple of summers aged 14-16 where he went for bike rides with friends. I'm pleased he had that option.

If his friends are all going out on their bikes that will be the best motivation

@heartsonacake we tried to encourage my DS to ride earlier. I cannot tell you the hours spent holding onto the saddle and letting go!! He just couldn't seem to grasp it. My DS was 7 maybe 8 and I dedicated a summer of daily practice for him to master it.

My DD total opposite. Went to her nursery parented eve when she was just 4. They went through her list of achievements and one was riding a bike!! I had no idea l, she still had stabilisers on at home. I took them off when I go back and off she went, no support from us.

All children are different and have different abilities/skills.