Would even trying to get pregnant again be irresponsible?

[PaperCastle]

I have 2DC and the last 2 pregnancies have ended up being ectopic. I don’t feel done and want to try again. DH thinks I’m insane. The chances of another ectopic at this point are higher again. I have DC to think about. Would it be worth the risk? Or is it just irresponsible?

I wouldn't in your position. Not sure about where you live but many friends that have been pregnant during covid, even those who are normally consultant led have had most appointments via phone call initially rather than being seen physically. I realise this will vary in different parts of the country but as someone who is consultant led too I would be very worried if I didn't have 'proper' assessments. X

I don't think you're listening to your dh at all. He thinks it's insane and stupid, and he'll go along with it if you really really want to. Does that sound like a man who wants another baby? Do you really want to have another child with someone who doesn't actively want it?

It sounds like you're picking out what you want to hear. He doesn't want to do it because of the risks. Let's face it, if something god forbid did go wrong, he would be the one left behind to look after your existing two children - all for the sake of a hypothetical baby that doesn't even exist. Having another baby isn't likely to make your losses any easier to bear.

I know nothing about the medical side or the stats, but in general I don’t think that a couple should have a third baby if one of them wants to stop at two (for whatever reason).

Yes I would go for it, you are aware of the risk you have so you can be extra vigilant, you know to get medical treatment at the very first sign of anything wrong and you can get a scan to check the location as soon as it is possible, all of that I would think would minimise the risk even further than the stats.

I wouldn’t, your DH would only be going along with it to pacify you and that’s not a good enough reason to agree to a child. Not to mention the health risks you already have and the fact that there’s a pandemic going on.

Given two doesn’t appear enough for you, what if three isn’t?

If you do go for it, and it’s another ectopic, will you keep trying?

I guess it’s just that the risk seems so tiny. 0.2%. And DH does want a third child. He’s just worried about something bad happening to me.

But I think I am going to put the idea on ice until coronavirus is over and then reassess how we both feel. I might look into getting some kind of counselling as well in the mean time.

Id say counselling is a really good idea op.