to civilly ask you to use your cars less

[mosquitofeast]

My last thread was deleted because I was not being "civil" enough, I don't actually think it is a subject there is much room for civility in, but I will try!

My last post was to try and answer some questions about me. Here they are

I think I have answered these.

No I am not a strict vegetarian. I don't buy milk or dairy, but eat it in other peoples houses,

no I don't fly,

foodmiles, well, I take them into consideration, but they are not the only indicator of the environmental impact of food. Tomatoes grown in a heated greenhouse 2 miles away might have more environmental impact than tomatoes grown outside in Spain, and flown in.

I have 2 adopted children, 1 is an adult no longer living at home I currently have 3 foster children, but that is likely to change this week

Yes I have a pet, it came with one of the adopted children.

No I don't smoke

Why are we getting into the possibly invented minutiae of @mosquitofeast life and this foster care stuff?

It's a technique to create a pissing contest of "I have equally as many demands on my time but I still don't use a car".

It's just a facile form of argument. The OP is subtly putting forward a view that because she has X demands on her time, X is a value that equals or is worse than anyone else's life circumstances. Therefore anyone should be able to give up a car because they are either in an equivalent setup, or better off in terms of time etc, than OP.

Don't get sucked into this.

@allfalldown47

All you have done is clarify that foster carers CAN work.

Please give us a rough idea of the industry you're in? How far you have to travel? How your foster children get to school? What hours you work?

Only then can we decide if a stranger is in any position to judge the rest of us so harshly.

Why? I work in a school, 60-80 hours a week in term time. I live 5 miles away, I used to get the bus, but since the star of the pandemic I walked there and back ( from early February) although I have been reaching online 3 days a week from home since March. I went back to school full time in July, and walked. These children are short stay and arrived after the end of term. Apart from that, I use a local child minder and would walk children there before setting off for the bus/walk. If I have school age children, and they are staying long enough to attend school, they normally go to a school near mine, or to my school Until recently I had two teenagers at home. Now just one.

@LittleMissRedHat OP must live in a city. That's the only way it could work..

@mosquitofeast is it true that you said on your other thread that contraceptive failure is the reason you have 5 kids? If so, why are you now claiming they’re adopted or foster kids?

Haha, yes this is very true, OP did indeed say contraceptive failure was the reason for the number of children she has!

you are confusing me with someone else, I never said anything like that, nor was I asked.

Looks like you have your answer. YABU.

or somebody else might have said it on my thread, I didn't even work my way through half of it, before it was deleted

I wonder if some people have storyboard and spreadsheets tracking different life events and moments as part of their MN story.

A bit like the Eastenders or Corrie writing room. A whiteboard with lots of post-its to keep track of the storylines.

I suggest, civilly of course, that you concentrate on your own life and mind your own business about other people's.

It's the time op. Will you please just fucking concede that some us dont live in cities, have young kids, and just cant magic up more hours in the day.

I dont believe you have 3 foster kids and another adopted child and dont have at least one adult at home or working part time in your house. Sorry but I simply don't believe you.

Thank fuck. I had a horrible sinking feeling you’d switched your story to make your children seem more environmentally friendly. I’m glad that not true!

Why? I work in a school, 60-80 hours a week in term time. I live 5 miles away, I used to get the bus, but since the star of the pandemic I walked there and back ( from early February) although I have been reaching online 3 days a week from home since March. I went back to school full time in July, and walked. These children are short stay and arrived after the end of term. Apart from that, I use a local child minder and would walk children there before setting off for the bus/walk. If I have school age children, and they are staying long enough to attend school, they normally go to a school near mine, or to my school Until recently I had two teenagers at home. Now just one.

Wow!! We have Superwoman here. In her spare time she saves the world.

Why? I work in a school, 60-80 hours a week in term time. I live 5 miles away, I used to get the bus, but since the star of the pandemic I walked there and back ( from early February) although I have been reaching online 3 days a week from home since March. I went back to school full time in July, and walked. These children are short stay and arrived after the end of term. Apart from that, I use a local child minder and would walk children there before setting off for the bus/walk. If I have school age children, and they are staying long enough to attend school, they normally go to a school near mine, or to my school Until recently I had two teenagers at home. Now just one.

I hope you also cook from scratch and bake your own bread!

I'm sorry but I don't believe you.
80 hours a week? I'm an early years teacher, generally we're the last to leave the building but I have never worked an 80 hour week.

So, 80 hours a week and you do a 10 mile round trip?
Who's looking after your foster children then? Doesn't seem like a great set up for them, particularly considering the awful environments they come from?

Why? I work in a school, 60-80 hours a week in term time. I live 5 miles away, I used to get the bus, but since the star of the pandemic I walked there and back ( from early February) although I have been reaching online 3 days a week from home since March. I went back to school full time in July, and walked. These children are short stay and arrived after the end of term. Apart from that, I use a local child minder and would walk children there before setting off for the bus/walk. If I have school age children, and they are staying long enough to attend school, they normally go to a school near mine, or to my school Until recently I had two teenagers at home. Now just one

Is this you?

I feel sorry for the freed slaves the OP is fostering. Dragged around for miles and not even able to have dairy or meat as a reward.

@Desiringonlychild
Indeed, and with the doctor's / social workers etc all handily in the same vicinity and can have three appointments in a row...

80 hours a week (term time) ? So:
That's 16 hours a day? (5 day week)

So you work 5am - 5pm would be 12 hours so you work from 5am -9pm and then walk 1 hour and 15 minutes each way.
So do you leave at 3.45am to get there for 5am? and are you back by 10.15pm then? That is a long day OP, I do hope you are getting some rest over the summer. (And some help for delusions).

60-80 hours a week

So you do roughly 16 hours a day?
Are you the key holder? Don't think our premises officer would be happy if I wanted to be let in at 7am and leave after 9pm everyday.
What with that 10 mile walk everyday you must barely spend anytime at home. I'm amazed you are allowed to be a foster carer, particularly with such vulnerable children.

Absolute lies.

If you’re doing 80 hours a week you can’t be very good at your job.

Imagine working 80 hours a week and walking for two and a half hours a day!
I don’t think anyone should live like this in a developed country.

Are you Dumbledore?
His hours were shockingly long!

Do you wear a name badge so your foster children know you? Because they can't be seeing much of you and you can't really be deemed a foster parent with such very little input.

I think it's awful that children who have such complex needs are fostered to someone who is out of the house just working for 16 hours a day!

I just looked up how long 5 miles is. Basically it's like walking from my zone 3 neighborhood to zone 5. On Google maps, it's 1 hour and 40 mins walk, 25 mins on the tube.

So you spend 200 minutes a day walking??? You must be very fit.

If I want to drive I will!!!