Be the big person or .. not?

[Whathewhatnow]

Ok, I'm completely throwing myself open to the mumsnet jury here.

I had a short 3 month relationship with someone who I loved. I was vulnerable but not helpless. Am a closet badass. He was a bit of a shit.
He dumped me on valentines day evening

Incredibly stupidly I went back to him.

Reader... do I really need to tell you what happened next? He dumped me. Again.

Begged me for friendship after. Adored me apparently.

Until now. When he doesnt really want to keep in touch because I dont understand him. Apparently.

I am very bitter. I gave him a great deal of practical help whilst going through a difficult time.

I have his login details for a site he values because he cannot manage to administer it himself:

Yabu, leave the site alone
Yanbu: change his password and take the bastard down ;)

No pressure.

OP I would have done the same don’t care if it’s childish or bitter. It probably won’t heal you longer term but meh...feels good for now. As long as there can’t be any ramifications for you?

No ramifications. Thanks all. I need to sleep. Tomorrow will be another day and it will be the a day free of this shenanigans. I'm damaged but I'm not stupid enough to let this blight my life going forward.

You don't need to defend yourself OP.
How dare he use you like that the egotistical shitbag.
He probably won't learn anything from it as he doesn't sound too bright.
Don't say sorry.
Also he's lost someone that clearly cared about him.
Move on

It just makes you look pathetic and desperate when you do stuff like that.

He does not get to take what he needs from me and leave me high and dry
How dramatic.
It was a 3 month relationship. You chose badly. You also chose to go back to him.
From your posts, I can see why he dumped you tbh

Do it.

Doooo Ittttt.

He may consider you as fair prey OP.
The vulture he is and all.
This should be about you and not him.
Do it right for yourself. Never lose face.

Fuck him. Change his password.

Bit too over dramatic for a three month relationship.
Even the way you write is dramatic and a bit cliche.

Love your name @Proudboomer and I like your post and I agree! Wish there was a like button haha

He does not get to take what he needs from me and leave me high and dry.

How have you been left high and dry? I genuinely don't understand.
Had you lived with him and he told you to leave immediately (or in a timeframe not reasonably enabling you to find somewhere else). Did he borrow money you could not afford and now you can't pay for essentials? He told you he didn't want to be with you anymore, which to be fair is a common occurrence world over every day, but how has this actually placed you in a difficult situation?

👍 to Inappropriatefemale
And in what way are you inappropriate?

What? You sound abusive.

Respect his boundaries.

He is allowed to dump you. He isn't property. He is allowed to not be your friend. Those are his choices that he gets to make and you should respect.

And now you're planning to abuse the trust he placed in you to hurt him just for fun.

What a shock that he didn't want to keep you in his life. You sound awful.

You sound childish and immature. And that 'Reader ...' shtick is plain irritating.

I am SICK of always being the better person.

I have learned in life that "being the better/ bigger person" is synonymous with "being a doormat".

I've been this person in the past - never again.

Shoot him down in flames! He deserves it and he might think more carefully about treating someone badly the next time.

Don't do anything illegal, though - he isn't worth getting yourself into trouble for.

It’s an offence under the Computer Misuse Act, apart from anything else, to access someone else’s online accounts without their permission.

OP has permission. She's the site administrator .

@SchadenfreudePersonified

There is a place between being a complete loon and being a doormat.

Which is why I suggested no illegality.

It could be easy for OP to go right to the other end of that see-saw.

Obviously op has been given permission, there’s no illegal access issues. Go on do it
OP, let it burn.

@SchadenfreudePersonified but when you do stuff like that, no one thinks "wow she showed him", they just think he had a lucky escape

Just give him the password and tell him you’re not doing it anymore.

You’ll be told that you should keep your dignity on here. However, when I’ve done similar in the past, the memory of it doesn’t make me feel undignified...it makes me smile. Terrible I know ..but true.
I’m not talking about going out of my way to wreak a revenge, but maybe just a slight nudge down the hole that they have created.

Take the twat down, he has treated you like an idiot and needs to suffer.

Apart from dumping you a couple of times in a short on/off relationship, what exactly has he done? And how exactly have you been left high and dry?

If he's determined to be a twat then give him the password to the site he "can't manage himself" and let him get on the path he's chosen. You are not responsible for his shortcomings.