to think baths are not relaxing

[LioneIRichTea]

What am I doing wrong?

I should love a bath, I can be pretty lazy, I like pampering myself, I love the peace and quiet... but I just can’t get a bath to be relaxing!

Tonight for example. DP was gaming, I ran a bath, nice music, scented candles, bubbles... even made a cup of tea to have in the bath. It was looking like a treat.

I must admit for the first 15 minutes I felt like Marie Antoinette and I almost wanted someone to come in with a platter of cream cakes to accompany my tea, but then, it happened...

It got cold.

Well not cold, but luke warm, so I turned on the hot with my left foot. Was bliss again for another 10 minutes or so and then I had to keep topping up!

This is in between constantly slipping and deciding what to sacrifice to the cold air, knees or boobs. So I’m alternating between them, never really being comfortable because IS THIS A BATH FOR ANTS?! So I mostly look like I’m giving birth with THE BEST DOUBLE CHIN.

The worst bit though is when I’m trying to get as much of my body under the water as possible to warm up and most of the bubbles have finally popped, revealing my cold goose pimpled boobs, like two sad blancmanges just asking me why I bother! I got out and had a shower!

I’ve seen you all! You instagram perfect bath women. The long legs, the wooden thing over the bath with a glass of Chateauneuf du Pape and the latest book club read. How do you do it, HOW?! Do you have a chair in there? Velcro? How do you relax enough to read, how do you not have to top up the hot every other page?! How do you not get bubbles on your hands then all over your forever itchy face!

I want to enjoy baths please help me!

Also why can’t you stretch out properly in a bath, I’m not a giant, I’m 5ft 9! Did they make doorways taller but forget about baths?! Ugh!

baths are boring

A jacuzzi bath is your friend. When we rejigged our bathroom B&Q were doing a deal on bathrooms so we thought why not? It was shorter and wider than the one we removed (useful as I am broad of arse).

Run the bath as hot as possible.
Add bath salts or bubble bath.
Get shower attachment down from the wall (our taps are the retro style with a lever that changes the flow from taps to shower).
Get in bath.
Put the jets on
When the water starts to cool, place the shower head next to the intake for the jacuzzi and turn it on. Water will then come out of the 6 or so jets.
When the bubbles reach maximum height, then get a bar of soap and create a lather. It will dispel the bubbles.

FWIW - no food in the bath. I once tried pizza and dropped it in the water.

You need a big bath, the it’s bliss!

I think you can have too big a bath, though @isadorapolly -- I once stayed in an expensive boutique hotel with a giant bath and my feet just kept floating up because I was nowhere near able to touch the far end with my toes. Which was not at all conducive to reading and drinking.

@SimonJT

I’m here with my famous bath 😂

Attached is the catalogue picture of my bathroom, I have that tub but as I’m a greedy bather mine is square rather than rectangular. You can comfortably fit four rugby players in it 😂

1. If its cold after ten minutes it wasn’t hot enough to start with, when your butt first touches the water it should be so hot you lower yourself in slow motion while pulling weird faces.
2. You need it nice and deep, this will also keep it warmer for longer.
3. Get a decent bath pillow, you can get ones with suckers if you need one for the inside of the bath for lumber support.
4. Supplies, you don’t want to be hungry or thirsty!
5. Share a bath, its one of the best places ever for a cuddle, we go for the ‘sled’ cuddle and he uses me as a personal pillow. Sled as in how two people sit on a plastic snow sled on laid back onto the other.
6. Make your bath buddy do the work! I usually read in the bath, as he is laid on me I make him read my book out aloud to me while feeding me snacks 😂
7. Have a wee before you get in, you’re guaranteed to need one in the first ten minutes, farts however can be saved for the bath, they make a great rumble and the person sharing with will definitely appreciate it.
8. A playlist, you gotta prepare, we have a spa music type playlist.
9. No harsh lighting, candles/low level lighting.

10. Give the cat some treats or she’ll spend the entire time scratching at the door.

That bath does look rather nice, it might be enough to tempt me

Sadly, I'm in a rented house right now, but I have it on my list of things to consider when I get my own place.

My obsession with baths is what made me choose water births and it was ace.

As Flanders and Swann said, after a couple of happy verses from a song about bathing:

Then there comes that dreadful moment when the water's running cold,
in the bath, in the bath.
When the soap is lost for ever, and you're feeling tired and old,
in the bath, in the bath.
It's time to pull the plug out,
time to mop the bathroom floor.
The towel is in the cupboard,
AND THE CUPBOARD IS NEXT DOOR!!