to think baths are not relaxing

[LioneIRichTea]

What am I doing wrong?

I should love a bath, I can be pretty lazy, I like pampering myself, I love the peace and quiet... but I just can’t get a bath to be relaxing!

Tonight for example. DP was gaming, I ran a bath, nice music, scented candles, bubbles... even made a cup of tea to have in the bath. It was looking like a treat.

I must admit for the first 15 minutes I felt like Marie Antoinette and I almost wanted someone to come in with a platter of cream cakes to accompany my tea, but then, it happened...

It got cold.

Well not cold, but luke warm, so I turned on the hot with my left foot. Was bliss again for another 10 minutes or so and then I had to keep topping up!

This is in between constantly slipping and deciding what to sacrifice to the cold air, knees or boobs. So I’m alternating between them, never really being comfortable because IS THIS A BATH FOR ANTS?! So I mostly look like I’m giving birth with THE BEST DOUBLE CHIN.

The worst bit though is when I’m trying to get as much of my body under the water as possible to warm up and most of the bubbles have finally popped, revealing my cold goose pimpled boobs, like two sad blancmanges just asking me why I bother! I got out and had a shower!

I’ve seen you all! You instagram perfect bath women. The long legs, the wooden thing over the bath with a glass of Chateauneuf du Pape and the latest book club read. How do you do it, HOW?! Do you have a chair in there? Velcro? How do you relax enough to read, how do you not have to top up the hot every other page?! How do you not get bubbles on your hands then all over your forever itchy face!

I want to enjoy baths please help me!

Also why can’t you stretch out properly in a bath, I’m not a giant, I’m 5ft 9! Did they make doorways taller but forget about baths?! Ugh!

@tobedtoMNandfart I’m very short so can submerge all of me.

My bath stays hot for around an hour. Thoughts - it's hotter to start with, I fill it more full, it's plastic (?) so retains the heat better, the bathroom is small and warm so the exposed stuff feels warm too.

I rarely run out of bubbles. If you want more bubbles put more in - it's not like it costs a fortune.

Have no problem reading or listening to music for an hour. Don't bother with candles. Do have a drink and occasionally something to eat too!

And yes it's about the escape so the drying phase needs to be warm and unrushed too.

To solve all these problems you need it too hot to start with and top up before it is cold. Most importantly put a wet flannel over each exposed bit, keeps them warm.

🤣 finally one advantage to being vertically challenged!

@tobedtoMNandfart

Also I think you are far too tall to be trying to stay in (and warm) for longer. I'm very short so can submerge all of me.

We stayed in a country house hotel once and the bath was huge. I'm short but the bath was so long I couldn't lie in it because it felt like I was going under! I had to sit right up and it was no fun at all!

Yes I've had that!

If you've got goose bumps then obviously your bathroom isn't warm enough.

Oh it is, I’m just some lizard person who is always cold at the best of times 😄

You want one where your feet reach the end while you're sat up enough to have your head out.

Yes definitely! The only way I can get all under is if I cross my legs and sort of squash them down.

• Bath needs to be boiling hot, I sweat when I get out the bath after an hour! Book just gets wet, don't care! And a very cold drink to cool me down a little so I can persevere with my hot bath. I have a slipper bath, I can fit all in it but do like to hang my leg out as it is so hot.*

😆 Are you mr?

I have it VERY hot so can't stay in too long. After I get out my DS is offered 'Satan's bubble bath'! 🤣

Sorry I might have derailed the thread there by telling you all what mingers we are here to share baths...

me not mr

I think the type and size of bath is key. I chose the one in our old house — can’t remember the brand, but a freestanding bath — for the angle of the back, which was perfect for reading, and it was smallish and deep, so I was pretty much submerged. I used to have them every night at one point — had a grey water system to reuse water to minimise waste.

I hate a bath. It so annoys me when people try to stuff me into one to get me to "relax". I come out in a towering rage. (My DH thought it would be just the thing to help me with a medically induced hot flush once -no idea why- and I actually did it to shut him up and nearly exploded).

Where does your head go? How do you not get a sore neck? How boring is it to stare at the toilet and why is there always sand in the bath?

Everything you need for the bath turns out to be in the shower.

There is nowhere to rest a book and I feel like I'm dicing with death when I check my phone. The children come in and peer. The dog comes in and peers. It makes my hips look enormous and there is nothing else to think about except how I need to shave. I end up plucking out hairs for something to do.

My knees get cold.

The toddler gets in and then I'm just stuck in the bath with a toddler. The toddler then has a reaction to the Epsom salts I put in the bath and has to be showered so I end up in the shower anyway, like a hot, cross prune with cold knees.

Then everyone asks you if you had a nice bath, like you've been somewhere nice. Then you have to change your knickers discreetly. Oh I hate a bath.

I think the type and size of bath is key. I chose the one in our old house — can’t remember the brand, but a freestanding bath — for the angle of the back, which was perfect for reading

Yes unfortunately I have Redrow special 🤣

People who say a bath can fix any problem. No it can't when you can't get comfy.

YOU NEED A JAPANESE BATH

In my next rich life, I'm having SimonJT's bath. He posted it on a thread recently and it was a thing of warm titted beauty.

@Commentutappelles Your whole reply was pure poetry. I really need to see this bath!

Just Googled the Japanese bath, yes, yes I do!

On another point, my legs are silky soft and I’ve brand new bed covers so not all bad 😊

Personally I think the problem was you had a cup of tea and not a bottle of wine.

Omg.

I have a thing, a bath thing. It was a gift from my Dsis and it is the best. Gift. Ever.

It's a handmade wooden over bath rest which has a book rest, wine glass holder, candle holder and snack tray.

If you don't have one, get one! I never want to shower again!

If you're looking at the loo then someone made a bad job of designing the bathroom.
Seriously there is no way external bits get cold if the room is warm.
Utilise the lock if you don't want visitors.
Submerge yourself under bubbles, knees up if bath is short - knees with a sheen of water and some bubbles are usually quite attractive. Shoulders up if you're tall.
Perhaps key is that your head should be at an end of the bath where there is a wall and definitely no taps so that even if the length is not quite right your head will be resting in the wall.
Just hold the book in two hands. You don't need them until much later.

Oh and a slot to stand your phone in too.

#spoilt

Oh and a slot to stand your phone in too

Or even better ... turn the damn thing off and leave it elsewhere.

I used to hate baths until we got a deep roll neck bath, I’m 5,7 and can be submerged to my shoulders with a bit of knee bending. I now spend hours in it topping up with warm water.

I love having a bath, I don't like showers. The water stays quite hot, and the bubbles stay till I empty the bath. I don't have scented candles now, as one of my three cats always follows me into the bathroom, and sits on the edge of the bath,or walks along the bath with a swishy tail until I get out of the bath.

@MiddlesexGirl

Like this?

tinyurl.com/y6sw9p57?

I must admit I might be tempted to take up baths again if I had something like this!