Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you can live in a house share with a toddler?

90 replies

WhereAreAllTheTeaspoons · 27/07/2020 20:21

I start uni in September and have a toddler DD. I've posted numerous times under different usernames about useless DP who is now ex useless DP. We currently live together in a house rented in his name, it's not an option to stay here as I simply can't afford the rent alone.

In September I'll get a student loan, but I'm struggling to work out how much extra I might get from universal credit. I obviously need to call and speak to some one as online calculators simply arnt designed to take students into account, but the phone lines are always so busy I'm struggling to be able to have that conversation.

Money is going to be tight and I think I'm going to have to get rid of my car to save on money so ideally I'm going to have to live close to university. All the places I can find within the budget I'm aiming for are for rooms in shared accommodation. Is this even a possibility with DD if I found a room with an en suite or am I being completely bonkers?

OP posts:
mummyoneboy19 · 27/07/2020 20:22

Being completely honest I don’t think a landlord would let a room to you with a toddler as well.

Have you approached social housing providers?

Lookyloo · 27/07/2020 20:24

I think you'll find it very hard to get a room which allows a toddler.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 27/07/2020 20:25

From my time in house shares, I don’t think a landlord would permit it. Also, it probably wouldn’t be very fair on the other house sharers.

suziedoozy · 27/07/2020 20:26

Have you tried the university direct - they often have family accommodation although whether they have any left now for start in Sept is another question.

Good luck

gingganggooleywotsit · 27/07/2020 20:26

Even if you could get a room I think it would be an absolute nightmare for you. I would really try and think of a plan B

princesshollysmagicalwand · 27/07/2020 20:26

Being completely honest, I absolutely wouldn't want to share a house with someone who has a toddler, especially if I needed to study. I say that as a mother of a toddler. Also I doubt you'd want a toddler in a house with other students (I have seen many student houses and not one has been child friendly or appropriate).

I would also look to see if you can get on a social housing list. Good luck.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 27/07/2020 20:26

Have you tried talking to your university accommodation department? Or living slightly further away, as rents are always high around campuses.

Llamapolice · 27/07/2020 20:27

In my area of London it's not uncommon but I think it's far from ideal. You won't know anything about the people you would be sharing with and they might get pretty riled by normal toddler behaviour especially if fellow students trying to study. Have you asked the uni if they can help?

user1493413286 · 27/07/2020 20:28

I think you’ll struggle to find that and I also wouldn’t like the idea of having shared areas around my child with people I don’t know. Could you manage a studio flat instead?

ButtonandPickle19 · 27/07/2020 20:28

You would be mad to consider that - especially with students. Sorry OP, it’s obviously been a bit tough for you :(

TheRosariojewels · 27/07/2020 20:29

It would be difficult. Is there anyone you know who could flat share with you? You could then be joint tenants on say a 2 bed property, rather than trying to rent an individual room. You can’t be the only person in this situation. Could you advertise at university for someone to flat share with who also has a child?

Original poster
WhereAreAllTheTeaspoons · 27/07/2020 20:29

I suspected that would be the case Sad
I've emailed uni about housing and I've had no reply, I've emailed the student union tonight hopefully they can advise. It's a nightmare and I've no idea how I'm going to afford to live tbh, but I cant stay here much longer for the sake of my mental health.

OP posts:
Butterer · 27/07/2020 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amum89 · 27/07/2020 20:30

I had a friend in a similar situation whilst at Cardiff uni - she ended up renting a room from a single mum who had her own house, worked out quite nicely -

I wish you luck

Splitsunrise · 27/07/2020 20:31

Sorry, can’t see any way in which that work work...

Original poster
WhereAreAllTheTeaspoons · 27/07/2020 20:31

Studio flats would be with in my budget but they are few and far between, ivd been and looked at two but one had damp and the other had a lot of damage and probably shouldn't have been up for rent. Other ones are in horrendous areas and given I'm going to have to give up my car I'd rather not be out and about at night alone there especially with DD.

OP posts:
Cornishmumofone · 27/07/2020 20:31

Which town/city are you going to? Someone here might be familiar with student accommodation in that location?

1Morewineplease · 27/07/2020 20:31

As PPs have suggested , talk to your uni.
Most student rentals aren’t set up to accept infants and landlords’ student insurance might preclude an infant.
The other students won’t be happy about it either.
Sounds like you’ll have to find private rental .

AdriannaP · 27/07/2020 20:33

Could you share with another single parent?
I would absolutely push the uni again, they should be able to help you. Just contact them again, contact head of your department and explain.

TheRosariojewels · 27/07/2020 20:34

Another thought would be to perhaps see if you could find a room as a lodger, that would accept you both.

Original poster
WhereAreAllTheTeaspoons · 27/07/2020 20:36

@TheRosariojewels

Another thought would be to perhaps see if you could find a room as a lodger, that would accept you both.
Hmm perhaps if I can scrape together the money I could get a bigger place and rent out the extra room, I cant be the only one in this situation and I might find that easier ?
OP posts:
Tunnocks34 · 27/07/2020 20:36

I absolutely wouldn’t do this.

Even if the landlord allowed it, the things that go on in student accommodations aren’t really what you’d want a child around. We were constantly drinking, having parties, leaving crap around. People had different boys over etc.

Your Uni could be a good point of call, also see if there is a student group for single parents.

negomi90 · 27/07/2020 20:37

Call your uni and the student's union attached to the uni. Its much easier on the phone than by email.

Todaywewilldobetter · 27/07/2020 20:38

Eek. Speak to the Uni. I'd not have been tolerant of a toddler as a student. Or at least not considerate.
And I think we would all have fallen out! Speak to the uni about their ideas.
A general student house may not be safe for a toddler to have much of a life.

Hairthrowaway · 27/07/2020 20:39

Speak to your university as they may be able to help

I’m thinking you’re probably more suited to a studio flat than traditional student halls. Maybe your university’s endorsed student accommodation could sort out a crib/bed for your child. Not sure though.

Not to be nasty but I think you’ll struggle to rent out a room, I am in my early 20s and not long left university and wouldn’t have considered lodging with a small child. They’ll be plenty of other flats for prospective students to go for instead.