AIBU to feel put out?

[Hogpie]

I have a new boyfriend. Been seeing each other a couple of months. First time making him dinner. I went to a lot of effort and prepared and cooked for over 2 hours. When making it boyfriend suddenly started feeling very ill, said he was dizzy and exhausted and needed a lie down which was fine. When food was ready he came back but said he could only eat a couple of mouthfuls! He said it was very nice and how sorry he was, that he would make it up to me etc. After I had finished he went back to lie down. I know people get ill but this was all unexpected/out of character.

I came out of a previous relationship feeling quite under appreciated. If he were me, I probably would have eaten more food out of politeness even if feeling ill so feel a bit put out. Should I be? Or am I being too sensitive? Everything else going well.

All through the night worrying about him and yet wanting him to shove down spoonfuls of food when he was sick? Doesn’t add up.

I once had food poisoning at my exes Mums house. First time I’d met the family. Went home and had D&V all night!!

@HaudMaDug

Was it mince?

What dish did he request you cook for him OP?

Can't think of anything constructive to say beyond get a grip. If someone's ill then they're ill. Don't cook for him again if you're so easily offended

@ZigZagPlant you reminded me of a time I visited my ex’s mums house for a birthday dinner she’d cooked for me. I’d completely lost my appetite in the days before and was so confused about why I wasn’t hungry. I managed a tiny bit before I was full and felt terrible when she’d gone to so much trouble.

I realised there was something wrong with me when I woke up in the middle of the night to find I’d shit the bed spent the next 3 days with the shits and missed my own birthday party

OP. You could have two dozen kids, work 23 hours a day and spent an entire week cooking the meal, but the fact is that he was unwell.
Are you seriously lacking compassion?
You can't expect someone to eat if they're unwell and lack appetite.
To be honest I'm failing to see what having three kids and working has to do with anything.

YABU and oversensitive.

Just because you’re fool enough to eat when you don’t want to doesn’t mean everyone else should too.

It’s stupid to say you would have eaten more in his situation as you have no idea how he was feeling and whether you would have been able to eat. Give the poor guy a break, you sound pretty hard work

How does you working full time and having two kids have any relevance at all? Most of the people telling you YABU probably work full time and have 2 kids. He was ill. If you can't get over something as tiny as this you sound like you would be hard work.

*3 kids

Perhaps he was shamming (Unknown reason) and YANBU to be upset. But only you would know why/if he is likely to do this.

Or he was genuinely very unwell - if so, you would be very unreasonable to be upset.

I sense you think it was some hybrid of the 2 - that he felt a bit unwell, but could have “made more effort”. You can answer better than any of us how likely this was. The nature of the dish, whether he had ever eaten it before, how well you cooked it, how he generally copes with new food will all impact upon this.

My general observation is that unless you are a person who frequently takes offence and over reacts, then you are probably NBU in thinking that he created more drama than was warranted.

Not sure how people have been rude. You’re boyfriend of a few months (still don’t get how you met someone and formed a relationship) was ill in an evening you’d cooked a meal. I can imagine being disappointed but annoyed at hmm is a little mean surely?

Wow the typos!
your on him

You're being a bit nuts and unreasonable on this one, but I do get it! New relationships can sometimes have their fair share of anxiety and insecurity, but hopefully things will settle and work out for you

You are point scoring. You have x number of kids and spent x number of hours cooking . You were expecting y return in terms of his appreciation. Its massively unhealthy and often entitled to work like that. It is extremely odd to spend hours awake worrying. Seriously that's unhealthy. I live with my DP, we have been together for years and if his appetite had gone but was mainly ok I would be vaguely concerned but I wouldn't be awake worrying. I would seriously rethink your view of relationships.