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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to change my name?

51 replies

Changinmyname · 26/07/2020 22:09

Name change (Grin) as I think this could be a sensitive subject.

I want to change my name but I need your thoughts.

I've always disliked my name because I have a horrific past with it - It's the name I heard before I was abused as a young girl, my mother just 'chose a name' without any thought into it, I feel nauseous whenever people say my name etc.

I have a lovely name in mind and I honestly just feel like myself whenever I think of myself with it. It has a lovely connection to my family history, and the meaning behind it is so special to me Smile

But i'm in my early forties and i've known my birth name for so long. It's weird to me. I feel as if I am a different person and i've held onto my birth name for so long that I would seem strange without it.
I'm not sure how people will react.

Please share your thoughts on this as i'm not sure if it will be the right decision.

OP posts:
Wishforsnow · 26/07/2020 22:12

Go for it

Original poster
Changinmyname · 26/07/2020 22:16

You think I should? I'm not too old, am I? Grin

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 26/07/2020 22:19

Do it! Of course you're not too old. Announce your fabulous new name to everyone and get on with your life as the new you Smile

Sheenais · 26/07/2020 22:24

Just do it! You will soon get used to it and it is a fresh start. My mum changed her name quite young to a name with a long form and short version. She has been known as her birth name, her long name her short name and a nickname interchangeably. It works fine.

ferntwist · 26/07/2020 22:26

Do it! Your choice.

RunningFromInsanity · 26/07/2020 22:27

Honestly, unless you explain all that reasoning behind it, people will think it’s weird. It’s likely people will still call you your original name and refer to you as it.

But if you don’t care about that then go for it! It’s your decision at the end of the day.

InTheWings · 26/07/2020 22:27

Do it!

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Do it with pride in yourself and joy for your future. Hold a party with your close friends, champagne, cake, toast yourself in your new name, and get something lovely personalised in your new name.

newmum332 · 26/07/2020 22:28

OP absolutely go for it!
I had a colleague a few years ago who did the exact same thing. I wasn’t particularly close to her at the time but she had discussed with senior colleagues the change beforehand, we all received an email announcing name change to the office. After a day or 2 nobody battered an eyelid and most people got used to it right away. Then office gossip moved on. If it will make you happy then go for it!

Shizzlestix · 26/07/2020 22:29

I think you should do it. How lovely to change your name and I understand it isn’t very expensive to do it officially. It’s just a bit of a faff to change driving licence, bank details, passport, email, but how lovely to know that you have a new name!

EL8888 · 26/07/2020 22:29

Another vote to go for it. Life is too short

Thurmanmurman · 26/07/2020 22:33

Definitely do it

Original poster
Changinmyname · 26/07/2020 22:36

Thank you so much for the encouragement. I love the idea of throwing a little party!! I might even get something personalized. Good idea Smile

OP posts:
cuntryclub · 26/07/2020 22:38

Honestly, unless you explain all that reasoning behind it, people will think it’s weird.

Why does it matter what people think? OP is doing this for herself, not to appease others Confused

I would definitely do it OP.

Daisychains20 · 26/07/2020 22:43

Do what makes you happy Flowers

RunningFromInsanity · 26/07/2020 22:44

@cuntryclub

Honestly, unless you explain all that reasoning behind it, people will think it’s weird.

Why does it matter what people think? OP is doing this for herself, not to appease others Confused

I would definitely do it OP.

It doesn’t matter what people think, I’m just telling her honestly what will happen. Some people care about what others think.

I’m not saying she shouldn’t do it.

MiddleClassProblem · 26/07/2020 22:46

I know a few people who have changed their name in adult life. One goes by her middle name now, another has a nickname that she wanted to go by but hasn’t changed it by deed poll but it was her official name at her new job etc, and another changed his name when he was 25 by deed poll because he didn’t identify with it at all.

It’s your life, do what makes you happy. The fact that you have such a strong reaction to your name is enough alone to do it, fuck what anyone else thinks!

Aquamarine1029 · 26/07/2020 22:48

I know of two people who changed their name as adults. It might have taken a bit for some people to get used to, but from what I witnessed, people were very supportive of their choice. If this will make you feel more at peace, then absolutely do it.

Planterlifer · 26/07/2020 22:51

Go for it!!

wfh2020 · 26/07/2020 22:51

A friend changed hers in her 50's. Was tolerant of those of us who forgot and within a year her new name was "hers". Go for it

Original poster
Changinmyname · 26/07/2020 23:01

I'd love people to see me as the name I want. PP that gave me hope Smile

OP posts:
lilylion · 26/07/2020 23:02

Absolutely go for it!

Butterflyonmyshoulder · 26/07/2020 23:03

OP look at the comments and take the strength to do it for you. Good luck x

Sparklyring · 26/07/2020 23:04

I would and people will soon get used to it. It's a bit like changing your surname when you get married, people will have the odd slip up then it will become the norm.

exhaustedtomato · 26/07/2020 23:05

Do it. I wish I was brave enough to change mine, for the same reasons as you

foolishlyfoolish · 26/07/2020 23:05

My Great Aunt decided to change her name when she went into sheltered housing at around 85! Go for it Grin