Is it normal for a toddler not to sleep through?

[firedept99]

DS is 22 months (nearly). He's never slept through. He sleeps in his cot mostly but sleeps in with me when he's teething/unwell. I'm close to giving in and going back to fully co sleeping. I'm still breastfeeding which we both enjoy. He just doesn't sleep through. He has a 1 hour nap in the day which he needs otherwise is miserable. He only sleeps for 9/10 hours at night so 10-11 hours in total.

Does this sound normal? Will he just sleep through one day? Will co sleeping make it easier?

I just need some sleep as I'm up EVERY night with him trying to get him back to sleep I'm exhausted.

Sorry, not normal in my circle but very normal on MN!

However it was also normal for my friends to sleep train after a certain period of waking but not on MN!

Make sure nap is finished by 2pm.

Good portions so that he isn’t hungry.

Not too many snacks so that he eats a proper dinner and isn’t waking up due to hunger. Avoid breastfeeding too close to meals to avoid spoiling appetite.

These things really helped with us.

Try 45 mins? Plenty fresh air in afternoons, too. Good luck.

@fascinated he naps 12-1. Has a great routine. Loves his food but I have been breastfeeding a lot more since lockdown so maybe need to cut back.

You could maybe try that, yes.

I have a 5 year old that is yet to sleep through and a 3 year old that mostly does. Entirely normal.

My 26 month old wakes in the night often. He was a lot worse a while back, it was exhausting. I found going in to settle him with a phrase (it’s bed time, night night) and nothing else helped. I’d leave it a bit longer before I went in if he kept crying out and dropped the phrase and said nothing just lay back down and tucked in. After a week or so he started sleeping through mostly or crying out but once and then going back to sleep. He’s not perfect but sooo much better. I think if you can actively sleep train while he’s still quite young it will help you massively. It doesn’t mean leaving them to cry for ages. I’ve never done that. Requires effort but worth it.

Makes me feel better to know there are parents out there who have kids who are totally different despite the same parenting. Makes me feel slightly less useless! Maybe it's just the way he is.

It depends on so matter factors! There’s no normal really because everyone’s situation and child is different.

Is it typical for the toddlers I know personally, including my own - no.

But then none of them were still being breastfed at that age - no judgment, I think it’s great, but it’s for comfort so he may be relying on it as a sleep aid. The same as a dummy / rocking / white noise etc. Some babies become very dependant on sleep aids, perhaps this is the case for yours.

I feel for you, my 23 month old is a mighty sleeper, 11 hours right through, very rarely wakes up.
My younger one though not so much, I’m exhausted with it.

Quite normal in my circles. Plenty of 1-2yos not sleeping through. You can try to do something about it but it depends on the child.

I found it easier when they are in a toddler bed as they can come through for a cuddle rather than you having to go and get them. It helps if you’re in deep sleep as it’s less disturbing. Doesn’t help with teaching them to self soothe though, but I’ve had variable experiences with trying to teach that. Some battles aren’t worth fighting.

Breastfeeding at 22 months is definitely not just for comfort. The health benefits are quite well recognised.

Never slept through even for just one night?
My son used to waked up and call us to his room most nights up till his 3rd birthday. But he did sleep through occasionally after his 1st birthday.
Actually I don't know whether he sleeps through nowadays because he has basically learnt to stay quiet in his bedroom and go back to sleep by himself .
In our case, he learned to do this after one night when he was clingy and daddy shouted at him to go back to bed (and he had never been shouted at before or ever since). So I guess after a certain age it's mostly under their control (except for sickness , nightmares etc).

Seeing your last post- I have 3 kids, one slept through regularly at 18 months, one at 6 years, last one at 2.5 . All breastfed until 2+

Yes. My 6 year old doesn't reliably sleep through.

I would say normal, if exhausting! My son started sleeping through fairly regularly at 19 months which is far later than many friends’ kids. He’s now nearly 4 and is still sometimes up in the night - usually for a drink or a cuddle then back to sleep.

Oh and mine was bf till 2.5. Stopping made no difference.

Are you still breastfeeding through the night? I am still breastfeeding my 3 year old, who has never been a great sleeper, but I stopped night feeds just before his 3rd birthday. It was difficult at first, and there were lots of tears, but he has slept through since.

In my experience it's normal. My eldest was night weaned at 12 months and fully weaned at 15 months and still didn't sleep through till she was almost 2, and then sleeping through was patchy till she was about 2 and a half. My second child was night weaned at 22 months and bf until 2 and a half, and also didnt sleep through till she was about 2, and then it was patchy till she was 3 and a half. So basically yes its normal but eventually they do sleep through, consistently.

Both mine were early wakers once they slept through and would wake at 6am or earlier. Now at age 4 and almost 7 they don't get up till 7, sometimes later. Living the dream! Except am now pregnant with my third and preparing for another 2+ years of sleepless nights 😆🙈

So yes, basically it's normal, and no your child won't wake up every night for the rest of their life. It will pass 😊

Vast majority of my friends have kids that generally sleep 12 hours straight. But none of us breastfed past a year and have never coslept.

My eldest didn’t sleep through the night until a) all her teeth were through and b) I totally stopped breastfeeding. For her I think the feeding was pain relief. She was 22 months and I feel guilty now that I was bemoaning it! They are all so different. My younger two are great sleepers and also were/are breastfeeding to age two.

My eldest didn't sleep through until a few months past two. The three keys were breaking the feed to sleep association, night weaning and encouraging her to adopt a comforter (which ended up being my old pyjama top, she still sleeps with it at 4).

IME normal yes. My 23 month old has never slept through and my now 11yo didn't sleep through until he was 2.5.

If cosleeping makes it easier then do this. They don't need to do it forever. I am getting to the point with DS2 I got to with DS1 where I find them in the bed is more disturbing than reassuring. Wriggling and kicking covers off etc

You are very very close to the point where you can start explaining things to him and he will actually grasp it and understand, so don't give up hope.

Interestingly my two are different in sleep - DS1 was always a nightmare to get to sleep but once he was asleep he would sleep for fairly long stretches and very deeply. I could get him dressed and change his nappy and he wouldn't wake up. DS2 is very easy to get to sleep (unless he needs a poo ) but he wakes frequently and easily.

I've found somewhere between 2 and 2.5 they start understanding things like "I want to sleep and you're keeping me awake. Would you like to wriggle in your bed, or lie still and sleep in mine?" and "You lie there and I'll just go for a wee wee and then be back" and "No milk, milk is sleeping, wait until the morning." and even "Mummy's asleep but Daddy is here" :o

Do you know why he’s waking up?
If he wants food, night wean him as it’s just comfort. If he needs comfort get him a comforter. If it’s due to not being able to self settle maybe look at light sleep training /not cio.
You can help him sleep better. Is his nap long enough?

It actually sounds as if he could be over tired. A 1 hour nap isn't enough unless he's having a good 12/13 hours at night.
Can you encourage a longer nap.