Is it normal for a toddler not to sleep through?

[firedept99]

DS is 22 months (nearly). He's never slept through. He sleeps in his cot mostly but sleeps in with me when he's teething/unwell. I'm close to giving in and going back to fully co sleeping. I'm still breastfeeding which we both enjoy. He just doesn't sleep through. He has a 1 hour nap in the day which he needs otherwise is miserable. He only sleeps for 9/10 hours at night so 10-11 hours in total.

Does this sound normal? Will he just sleep through one day? Will co sleeping make it easier?

I just need some sleep as I'm up EVERY night with him trying to get him back to sleep I'm exhausted.

I agree with putting them in a toddler/single bed (if you think they won't fall out) and encouraging them to come to you rather than you going to them. This is what got DS1 to sleep through. It's tricky with DS2 because we live in a flat now so I can't just block off the stairs. He could get out of the front door, into the bathrooms, living room, even onto the balcony potentially so I don't want to encourage him to walk around at night even though I think he would probably just come straight in to us.

I also think DS2 is nearly at the stage I could try feeding and then sleep, rather than feeding to sleep, so that's my next plan. He doesn't follow a story yet unfortunately but I'm sure he will soon, his speech and understanding is getting better all the time. I tried this the other night, reading to him only if he was lying down on the pillow, stopping if he got up and reminding him gently to lie down. That worked, but he gets bored of stories consisting of more than one sentence on a page, and reading the same book six times isn't really lulling into sleep sort of territory.

I think it's linked to breastfeeding or having milk still at night. Mine both slept through the night when I stopped night feeds. For one child that was BF the other I was giving milk in bottles and I managed to swap for water in a bottle which then gave me confidence to see it wasn't real hunger.

It's up to you but if you are suffering then I think milk in the night has to completely end

There is not normal or not normal , but if you want him to sleep them prob give up on the breastfeeding .. not necessary anymore at this age and could just have become something you both rely on for comfort.

Which also is fine.but if you want him to sleep ...

At 22m mine would have napped 2 hours from 12.30 to 2.30 then slept 7 til 6pm.

This was normal among everyone I knew but then I dont know anyone in RL who co-slept past age 1.

I breastfed both of my kids until 2+ and my youngest slept through from 4 weeks. Eldest like I said, 5 and still wakes up! Nothing to do with breastfeeding and feeding has lots of benefits still.

Anecdotally my friends who have breastfed in the night past 12 months have had much worse sleepers.
There are obviously many benefits to breastfeeding though, even for a toddler.

I don’t have any advice but wanted to add another voice of solidarity and support. My son is 20 months too and hasn’t slept through once. He’s also breastfed. Lately he’s been starting the night off in his cot and wakes up anywhere between 12 & 2 and typically comes into our bed and will go back to sleep.

I did worry half co sleeping half not would cause him to refuse going to bed altogether but he goes to sleep by himself in his cot most night still so hasn’t had an affect and just taking him in with me once he wakes up helps us all get more sleep overall.

I'm still cosleeping at 2.5 years. There's nights I think he has slept through but my husband will tell me he woke to feed. I'm completely oblivious though.

There still are some very obvious developmental leaps around 2 years and 2.5 years that a bit of sleep disturbance isn't a massive surprise.

We had a first the other night, my son got out of bed and clattered down the landing to the top of the stairs, I waited at the bottom and just told him back to bed, and off he went and fell back asleep! Hang on in there and do whatever makes it easier on the pair of you.

Not normal with my toddler or my friends toddlers, but none were still being breastfed at that age.

My dd has slept through consistently since we dropped the last night feed at around 4/5months.
Every child is different though, sounds like maybe they are waking for a comfort feed?

Dd1 slept through at six months
Dd2 slept through at just turned three
Dd3 has just about cracked it bit sometimes climbs in my bed in the middle of the night and she’s 4 in October.

My friend still give her dd2 ‘boobie’ till she was 4 and that’s when she started sleeping through.

If you're still breastfeeding at night it's not surprising that would be detrimental to his sleep. Nothing wrong with breastfeeding in the day as long as you like, but if he's still eating in the night, you're not doing him or yourself any favours in my opinion. With both of mine, night weaning has been the single thing that had the most dramatic and positive impact on their night sleep. I continued to breastfeed them for many happy months after night weaning.

Sorry if it's not the case that he is still eating in the night, it's not totally clear from your posts.

But night weaning doesn't always cause them to sleep through and some children will sleep through before they stop breastfeeding. DS1 breastfed until he was 4, but he was consistently sleeping through long before then.

I don't believe children wake purposefully thinking I would like milk, I will get up in the middle of the night to have it. But I can believe that they may wake and look for the comfort/reassurance of mum and for many breastfeeding toddlers the comfort/reassurance side of mum is strongly linked to milk.

DH reckons "mimi" is a totally different person in DS's mind to me :o

As in, if you look on breastfeeding specific support groups and ask for advice about nightweaning - some will say OK I nightweaned, but my baby/toddler still woke up at night.

It can help in some situations but it is not a magic bullet and also, it might not be the right time/OP might have other reasons to want to continue BF at night.

Mine have always worked up for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I didn’t know what the reasons were until months or years later when they were able to express or explain and then it made sense.

The one who was BF at 2 didn’t sleep through until 3 and a half, the one who was weaned at 10 months didn’t sleep through until age 8, and if you’d given me Bf back at 2 as a magic settling bullet I’d have taken it like a shot.

Reasons my children have woken repeatedly through the night - sensory issues relating to what is being worn at night, and suddenly having to strip naked as too hot or being unable to bear sheets on them. Then an hour later waking because they are freezing, furious and need helping into layers, rinse and repeat. Skin problems with perpetual itching, bloody sheets and the very angry, upset child that came with it. Needing a wee, but not being able to say so - being unable to wee whIlst sleeping but simultaneously not ready for night training or able to take themselves to a toilet. Chronic constipation and withholding. Being a light sleeper and woken by a sparrows fart then needing hours of resettling. Night terrors - awful.