My gran is in the final stages of dementia and unlikely to live to the end of the year. A year or so before her diagnosis she told me she didnt want her nephew attending her funeral when the time came. She said she believed he gave my mother (his cousin) a date rape drug once when we visited. She says he had access to a lot of drugs due to his job as a chemist. We used to stay with him some summers and I was honestly surprised to hear this given her previously positive relationship with him. In hindsight I have wondered if it was due to the dementia. But she was adamant he should not attend the funeral (without telling my uncle and mother who are now her actual powers of attorney).
I haven't thought about this man in years until today, when my mum told me he had phoned her. She mentioned he had retired from his job a a chemist which confirms part of my gran's story.
She was adamant about him not attending the funeral but when the time comes what can I do? My mother doesnt seem to hold any ill will towards him.