AIBU- partner wasting time in the bathroom on his phone??

[Somanyusernamess]

DP works longish hours and has evening hobbies several times a week.
So he goes to work within an hour of getting up and gets home 1-2 hours max of our DD going to bed usually (some days she can already be asleep)
But every morning and most evenings he goes into the loo and spends between 30-45 mins in there on occasion it can be an hour and I'm not exaggerating, doing his business and then watching videos on fb etc and it's starting to drive me mad. He admits he's finished within 10 mins or so and stays in there just because he's watching vids.
Meanwhile I am lucky to find 2 mins to go to the loo alone!
But he's wasting time he could be spending with DD in my opinion, he's lucky to see her for an hour a day between working and sitting on the toilet!
AIBU to this he's taking the piss!?
P.S he has no bowel issues and he isn't watching porn 🤣 I can hear it half the time its football or stupid vids on fb.

He’s thoughtless and selfish.

This would piss me off big time too.

Call him out on his selfish behaviour.
Go in and disturb him.
Keep ringing his phone until he gets the message.
Threaten to tell your MIL

Call him after 10 mins and tell him to get off?

100% selfish

Bang on the door. Say your dd needs you. Just bloody selfish. Assuming he’s not wanking of course. Actually I’d still bang on the door.

This is sad. Not just for your girl but for him. How is sitting on the loo watching football more rewarding than cuddles, reading books, playing? He’s missing out.

Maybe next time shout through the door for him to start running a bath and tell him he can stay in there and do her bath time too?!

Tell him to think about all of the grim poo particles gathering on his phone, bleurgh.

We had this issue, but my DH also has an IBD so it was a mixture of genuine need and piss-taking.

One day I noticed how much time he spent in the bathroom recently and told him how concerned I was because his symptoms had got worse. Then he admitted it wasn't always 'need' and he was watching things and staying in there because it was peaceful.

We solved it by talking about it like adults. He wasn't doing it out of avoidance but because he had a genuine need for some solitude and wasn't getting it (our DC have ASD) unless he was in the bathroom.

It doesn't sound like your DH has a genuine reason so if it were me, I'd be desperately needing a wee every time he does it.

Ugh. Mine does similar. Drives me bonkers.

So his entertainment is of higher priority than spending time with his DD? And it’s more important than doing an equal share of raising his child?

How old is your DD? It sounds like he’s gotten into the habit of viewing his child as a novelty that is your responsibility. I would take steps to break that habit ASAP if I were you, he is being so selfish and the resentment will only build

Next time you are both there with your DD you go to the bathroom and lock yourself in with a book and a cuppa. See how he likes it.

Switch the Wi-fi off and hide the phone charger

No phones in the bog?

Mines similar. He does have IBS so if I say anything he’ll say he’s in there so long because of that and try and make me feel guilty for getting mad but I know half the time he’s lying and he’s finished but on his phone. He’s the same when he goes for a cigarette, should take 5 minutes max to smoke one outside but he takes 20 minutes each time scrolling on his phone long after he’s finished. Drives me absolutely bonkers and is the cause of many an argument especially as I’m lucky if I get 2 minutes to myself while DC are awake!

So he is just deliberating doing everything possible to not spend any time with his daughter. Or with you for that matter.

I wanna guess that your dd is quite young and dp is not enjoying her age...?

Anyway. Make it clear this is not the way to go! And that you are not having it. Break the habit now and don't facilitate this behaviour otherwise you will be making your own bed for the future.

He obviously has no interest in his daughter which is very sad. Don't have any more children with this selfish man.

Yea switch off the WiFi as soon as he goes in.

Yea switch off the WiFi as soon as he goes in.

Won't this just switch to his data? Tho' I suppose a lot depends on the sort of data plan he has (some people in my house have unlimited plans so switching off home WiFi wouldn't throw them).

She's 15 months.
Thanks for all the suggestions, only problem is the upstairs bathroom/toilet is separate so cant tell him to run the bath and do that. And we have a downstairs loo too so can't moan I need a wee. But thank god we do otherwise I'd never get a look in!
We've had 'jokey' chats about it hence why he's said he is done in about 10 mins but stays in there on the phone, think we need to have a more serious chat about it.
Glad to see others agree its selfish and he's missing out on time he could be spending with her. We certainly wont be having anymore kids!

The second he walks in the door from work, leave the house, and leave dd with him.

Similarly, on a morning, the second he gets up, leave the house. Tell him you will be back at X time (2mins before he needs to leave for work). Leave dd with him.

YANBU- he's behaving like a selfish tw#t. My husband started trying to do this when I went back to work from mat leave (I would always be home earlier than him). Tell him it isn't on and be sure to leave a lengthy chore for him to do so he understands it needs to be housework/childcare first, personal time 2nd. Just like it is for you.

YANBU, but im guilty of this lol
So is my DH and my Eldest DS.

I’d take the lock off the door and send DD into him after 10 minutes every time.

He’s selfish. Purposely hiding in there to avoid doing any childcare. I’d go apeshit.

You need to pinch his phone and change the settings so it only plays videos when connected to WiFi. Then turn the WiFi off when he goes to the loo.