Inheritance - what's fair?

[BrittleBean]

NC for this.

Relative's will stipulates that 65% of their estate be divided between three nieces / nephews and 35% between great nieces / nephews.

Niece 1 has three children
Nephew has one
Niece 2 has two

Is it reasonable that each great-niece / nephew receives an equal share or unreasonable that one family inherits a larger total share than the other two?

TIA

Oh yes, sorry Fifthtimelucky

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g oh if only that was the case!!

My uncle is the eldest son and in our culture what he says goes. The seven children did not sit down and agree on it, it was just accepted that was the way it was. In fact he distributed my grandmother's possessions to the family, excluding ours, including my dad's jewellery. My dad did not say anything at the time so that ship has passed. It would not have occurred to my grandmother to make a will.

I completely agree, if you want your money/ possessions to go to specific people make a will.

Gosh, @bestofme21, that's messy! Was this in the UK? Inheritance really does seem to bring out the worst in some people.

Yes fair. The family is composed of individuals so each individual within a generation should be treated equally and get the same amounts imo.

My grandparents left their money in equal share to their children (x3) and grandchildren (x6), so we each received 1/9 of the estate. Their DS1 has one child, DS2 has two, and DD has three (so an unequal split of grandchildren between their own children). As a beneficiary I think this was a really fair way of doing things - it was a life saving sum for me and paid for an extension on our old house. For my parents’ generation it would have made less difference as they were in their 50s when it happened, but I’m really grateful to my grandparents because they could have left it all to their children and we would still be waiting another 30 years for money when this is the time it is needed. A couple of my cousins have bought investment properties to rent out (one is in the forces so has accommodation paid for), some have used money as deposit for their own homes, one is still under 18 so it is in trust for them, and I’m not sure what the final one has done because she lives overseas

Reedwarbler

You are cogitating on what you might get, you are even discussing it with your friends sister as to what is fair. This person isn't even dead! I would be horrified if I thought my relatives were talking about my demise in terms of my value when dead and gone. I honestly think it is vulgar and undignified to have these conversations about 'what I'm getting and what you're getting', like vultures hopping round a dying animal.

Have you actually read what I wrote?

I am not 'cogitating' on what I might get and haven't discussed anything with anyone. A friend happened to tell me that she has fallen out with her sister when the sister found out about a similar arrangement in their parents' wills and I realised that some might view my relative's wishes as contentious.

At the end of the day their wishes are the only thing that matter. In this case the inheritance is likely to be small because the person is not wealthy and likely to need most of their assets to pay for care. It's nothing to do with salivating over who gets what, it's trying to understand what people deem 'fair' and why.

Don't judge others by your own standards.

Thank you everyone for your replies. It's been interesting to catch up this morning.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

It's very kind of your aunt or uncle to leave money to nephews and nieces at all.

Yes, very kind. No children / grandchildren of their own but that generation have been like grandchildren to them, and they are all close. None of them know they are mentioned in the will. If they receive a gift from the will it will be a lovely surprise.

My sdad has left both me and my brother some money in his will.
He actually wanted to leave it to the GC but I have 2 dc and my brother has 3 so he didn’t think it was fair to me. I don’t agree but it’s his decision
Thing is there is no way my brother will give the money to his dc when sdad dies anyway, I suspect sdad knows this which is why he’s done it that way.

What is fair is following the wishes of the deceased. The inheritance isn't by family but by individual.

That's a lovely dynamic, @BrittleBean. My family aren't as close as that but as it happens everyone in my parents' generation and my own generation had children, and I think that changes things.

How many children you have is your lifestyle choice.

Your relative can do whatever she likes (and this sounds like a fair arrangement) and to question it just sounds grabby

Inheritance is as fair as a free lottery. If you win money great, if you don't you haven't lost something that wasn't yours.

I think the receivers should be grateful they getting anything. The elderly relative could easily have donated to charity. Be grateful rather than arguing what is fair it not fair. There will always be issues regarding fairness but why not be grateful you getting something

It's fair. All the GNs get the same.

My DSS's GP left a large sum to be held in trust for GC's, but there was only one GC at the time of their death. By the time he got to the age that he could access the money, it had shot up to £125k.

Then, there were 3 more GC's but the money all went to DSS.

Malice Nobody is questioning it.

Pisces If anyone receives anything they will indeed be grateful.

Alpha Yes, no one is entitled to anything by way of inheritance. I've never inherited anything but from things I've read on here and IRL I know it can cause difficulties in families.

The money will be part of that but I wonder if it's also the symbolic value and interpreting what the decisions around bequests actually mean....the implied value over relationships and worth.

I think my relative was in that situation many years ago and was trying to do what they saw as 'the right thing' for their family when they drew up their own will.

OP I am a Probate lawyer. The division will depend entirely on what the will actually says, eg "in equal shares" means per capita, ie one share to each individual, whereas "per stripes" means that the division is to each family unit. There is no point in you and other lay people speculating about something that will be easily determined when the sad day comes.

That should have read"per stirpes". Autocorrect!

@Mangofandangoo

I have a brother and a sister who each have two children, I only have one. I would be upset if I got less that them, unless it's stipulated specifically in the will then I think it's immoral

You wouldn't be getting "less", the amount to each individual would be the same.

65/3 and 35/6

Of course that is the only way to do it.

My parents have skipped me and DB and left their estate 50% to his kids and 50% to mine.

I have more DC, I am hurt that they are seen as lesser :(

If they wanted to skip us fine but then divide it equally after that. The value is negligible as we both have several DC and there may be nothing to inherit but the sentiment is hurtful.

Obviously I have said nothing their money, their choice.

@RandomMess

My parents have skipped me and DB and left their estate 50% to his kids and 50% to mine.

I have more DC, I am hurt that they are seen as lesser :(

If they wanted to skip us fine but then divide it equally after that. The value is negligible as we both have several DC and there may be nothing to inherit but the sentiment is hurtful.

Obviously I have said nothing their money, their choice.

Presumably that's to allow for possible future children? If the beneficiaries were named, any "extras" at the time of inheritance would be excluded.

Jamestown

I'm assuming you haven't read my other posts......?

No one is speculating. The division is equal shares. The testator has been explicit about their wish to 'be fair'. I happen to think this is a fair way of dividing assets and in their shoes would probably do the same but what I think is irrelevant. They are perfectly entitled to leave their money to whomever they wish and nobody would argue.

It’s threads like this which mean my estate will be split across where I went to school and university.

It’s the choice of the person whose estate it is how it gets shared out. Nobody else’s views matter.