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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inheritance - what's fair?

121 replies

BrittleBean · 25/07/2020 23:30

NC for this.

Relative's will stipulates that 65% of their estate be divided between three nieces / nephews and 35% between great nieces / nephews.

Niece 1 has three children
Nephew has one
Niece 2 has two

Is it reasonable that each great-niece / nephew receives an equal share or unreasonable that one family inherits a larger total share than the other two?

TIA

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 26/07/2020 00:11

Seems very fair to me for each one to get an equal share. I can't see the argument for any other way.

DeRigueurMortis · 26/07/2020 00:14

Ah cross post!

No you're not naive.

I think it's fair and tbh a pretty standard approach.

Frankly I think it's odd as to why anyone would think otherwise.

Original poster
BrittleBean · 26/07/2020 00:14

DeRigueur, I'm N2.

Glad to say no one is kicking off. If there is an inheritance (and there may not be because of care fees) all the beneficiaries will be grateful for anything they receive.

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 26/07/2020 00:14

It all sounds eminently fair. The parents, I presume, cannot use their children's money.

DeRigueurMortis · 26/07/2020 00:16

Pleased to hear it Grin.

Original poster
BrittleBean · 26/07/2020 00:18

Frankly I think it's odd as to why anyone would think otherwise

I trawled some of the inheritance threads earlier and there was a feeling from some posters that division by family group was fairer. Just wanted to hear some views.

Relative has always said how important it is to be 'fair' (having felt in the past that they were treated unfairly) and I was interested that views differ on what IS fair.

OP posts:
Original poster
BrittleBean · 26/07/2020 00:20

The parents, I presume, cannot use their children's money

No, absolutely not.

All the beneficiaries are adults. the 'children' need it more than their parents - young families, job insecurity, etc.

OP posts:
Thisismytimetoshine · 26/07/2020 00:26

All the beneficiaries are adults.
So why on earth would anyone consider dividing it by family to be fairer than allocating the same amount to these independent adults? Confused
I assumed the children in question were actual children, still living in the family home.

Purplepie78 · 26/07/2020 00:26

Each niece and nephew should get a share. My grandparents left money to all of their great grandchildren, My sister has more kids than anyone and all the kids got the same.

Original poster
BrittleBean · 26/07/2020 00:31

Thisismytime

I don't know why but some people clearly do (my friend's sister thinks it's completely unfair that one family 'benefits' - her word - more than others) which was why I wanted to hear alternative views.

OP posts:
maddening · 26/07/2020 00:32

Nephew does not have to spread their money between multiple dc and their dc will receive 100% of their parents' estates though.

Splitting between the individuals rather than families seems fair Imo. I say this as a parent of 1 dc whose dsis has 3dc, and one who would love a second dc but is tied financially.

Purpleartichoke · 26/07/2020 04:36

I personally would specify my will so shares went equally to families and then were divided by the members of any given generation. So yes, if one family has 3 kids and the other has 2, the pair get a larger amount, but the total to each part of the family lineage is the same.

Others take a per person approach and that is fine too.

SD1978 · 26/07/2020 04:56

Completely reasonable each individual is treated as an individual, regardless of how many children each niece/nephew has had. Same set up in my family and I don't care- I'm the one with one child, sister has 4. They will get 'more' but each individual won't. Also- grateful that they may receive anything And how that happens is their choice. Their won't be much- a few thousand each at most. Still trying to persuade my parents to go stuff it and spend it first.

Penners99 · 26/07/2020 06:05

What is written in the Will, is fair.

PeanutButterKid · 26/07/2020 06:17

Only on MN have I seen strong insistence on equal division is what happened or will happen. Rarely seen this actually happen IRL.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 26/07/2020 06:29

It's very kind of your aunt or uncle to leave money to nephews and nieces at all. I assume this means s/he has no children and grandchildren. Plenty of people in that position would have left money to charity. The will seems very fair to me. No guarantee that the GNs will inherit anything from their parents, so this way they do get something.

AlternativePerspective · 26/07/2020 06:37

Yes completely fair. My eXH’s grandparents did the same, left an amount to each of their children and then the rest was split for the grandchildren. MIL had two DC where’as her sister had one, they all got an equal amount.

TBH the entitlement some people have towards other people’s money never ceases to amaze me.

If I discovered that people were falling out over the contents of my will before I had even died I would disinherit the lot of them and leave it all to a dog’s home...

Jocasta2018 · 26/07/2020 06:44

With the need for self-funding care fees, you can no longer guarantee that there will be any inheritance for anyone!

This will ensures that each Greatnieces/nephew will definitely receive a chuck of money, rather than their parents receiving it all then it having to be spent on their care meaning the great nieces/nephews receive nothing.

The money should be divided equally between individuals - it has been left to each great niece/nephew not each nieces/nephews family.

Also worth bearing in mind, leaving money to the great nieces/nephews means it only goes through one lot of IHT. Money left to the nieces/ nephews will go through the original IHT then when they die, it will go through another lot of IHT before the great nieces/nephews receive it!

YinuCeatleAyru · 26/07/2020 06:50

it seems perfectly reasonable to me that the family comprising of more individuals should get a greater portion of the estate. each great-niece and great-nephew should get an equal amount.

once the middle generation have all passed on and assuming each parent leave their share of this inheritance to their own offspring, with the plan as outlined in the OP, the Only Child offspring of the nephew will have a total of 28% of this estate, whereas the 3 children of niece1 will only have 13% each and the 2 children of niece2 will have 17%. some testators might consider skewing the amount they divide between the nieces and nephews to give a bit more to the ones with more offspring so as to even this up a bit, but I think the original plan is reasonably fair. it would certainly be unfair to skew it in the other direction as suggested in the op - an equal share to each family would leave the only-child of the nephew being 3 times better off than their cousins once they inherit their parents share.

CountFosco · 26/07/2020 06:53

When my childless great aunt died she left everything to one line of the family. No family arguments, why would there be Confused. Just because some families are awful and greedy doesn't mean all are.

Tinamou · 26/07/2020 07:12

I think the reason it's fair and no one is kicking off is that more than half the money is split evenly between the first generation nieces/nephews. There might be ill feeling if all the money was split evenly between all the beneficiaries.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 26/07/2020 07:15

Sounds fair to me. One relative suggested to me and my sister that they split an amount 50:50 between us, and we use it for our kids. Trouble is, dsis has one more child than me. So we told them to split it 40:60 to her, so each child gets the same when they are old enough to inherit. (As we've both finished having children I think relative should rewrite their will go directly name the children and the sum, rather than passing it to us to pass on.) Especially as relative is not likely to die any time soon, hopefully.

Whatthebloodyell · 26/07/2020 07:27

Urgh. Sometimes I’m glad that I come from a family that doesn’t have inheritance to leave!

AdoreTheBeach · 26/07/2020 07:35

The sill leaves part of estate in % to various individual people, Depending if their niece/nephew or great niece/nephew not to family groups. So this is fair to each individual person

Also, inheritance is not a human right. It is up the to person making their will and what they decide. That’s what is fair.

claireyjs · 26/07/2020 07:37

It's the choice if the person whose will it is. Personally I think equal amounts for the kids... its not about the families, it's about the individuals

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