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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find my report from breast clinic condescending?

477 replies

duletty · 25/07/2020 22:37

I’m 44, had breastfeeding pain for a few months and then found a large lump on the underside of my arm near arm pit.
Gp arranged a quick appointment (was three weeks when usually a two week wait)....
Any way after mammogram and ultrasound they said it was cysts and calcification, so all good.
Got letter today outlining results and it said:
“Saw the this delightful lady in clinic today”......etc etc
I find this language unprofessional and it pissed me off that it was shitty code like a child’s school report.
I have to write reports for EHCPs and use appropriate professional language do it set me on edge.
Am I being precious?

OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 26/07/2020 03:40

[quote TheFormidableMrsC]@Kaiserin I'm in a chemo unit weekly for treatment. There are several nurses in there with 30 years plus experience. There is one who calls everybody her "little darling", male and female. She is bloody wonderful, I watched her remove a picc line from somebody the other day who had had it in for many months and the actual doctor couldn't remove it without causing excruciating pain to the patient. Yet she took over, got it out with minimal angst by using what appeared to be a method. She is an angel as far as I am concerned, the gentlest of cannula inserters, user of the kindest words. It would take a special kind of prick to be offended by her language but I am sure there will be one somewhere. I'm in that over 50 age group where I've seen both sides of the coin with PC/non PC language and quite honestly, I find a few kind words, especially to older patients, is lovely and is received well. It only appears to be younger age groups that get all offended by something like this.[/quote]
exactly.
nothing weird about it.
it's called humanity, compassion, empathy.
alright, my lovely ?

(how yous a doing, mrs c. big ups to you.)

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/07/2020 04:00

I got a cc of a letter from a consultant the other day, who wrote to the surgeon, who performed my last op, which said “I saw x (insert first name)”. No pleasant / delightful.

My reaction? I think he possibly didn’t think i was a particularly nice person. I’m highly emotional as I’m only just about coping. I was rather sweary and called myself a dickhead and kept on apologising for myself. This will be surgery no 3 and major again.... or maybe he’s the first consultant I’ve come across, who doesn’t do flowery speech. Idk.

Mothership4two · 26/07/2020 04:03

Having had surgery to remove a breast tumour (fortunately benign) I would just have been thankful to have received an all clear letter. Being called a "delightful lady" wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest

YouSofunny · 26/07/2020 04:30

I was described as a 'young lady' in my last letter lol I'm in my forties.

ElaineMarieBenes · 26/07/2020 04:40

Happy to swap reports and diagnosis - the lab report on my breasts following bi-lateral mastectomy refers to my unremarkable nipples! I wish they were still attached to me.

Glad the only thing you have to worry about is being described as delightful.

Clumsyvolcano · 26/07/2020 04:41

Oh God.

In the nicest possible way, get a life, OP.

Imagine getting annoyed about a compliment and then taking time out of your day to write a thread on MN. Really?? Shock

Make an official complaint if it offended you that much and you felt it was so unprofessional. I’m sure the NHS would love to hear from you.

daisychain01 · 26/07/2020 04:53

@MsJaneAusten

So many people saying it’s code for “not a twat”, I’m intrigued... what’s code for “a twat”?
This rather challenging individual attended my clinic today .... Grin
daisychain01 · 26/07/2020 04:56

OP with the result you got, I'd be bloody over the moon to be called delightful. I'd be running around hugging everyone in sight with that news, not worrying about the words in the good news missive.

Mypathtriedtokillme · 26/07/2020 05:19

Dh and I were referred to as “delightful concerned loving parents” in a ref letter from a E.D to a children’s hospital when Dd broke her leg on holiday.

Maybe that was because they spoke to us each alone to ask how she broke her leg and we both seemed genuinely distraught and worried (I also was 28 months prego and an emotional wreak) so they wanted to let home country know they knew it was an actual accident?
She landed funny after a double bounce on the trampoline and broke her leg just below the knee.

Mypathtriedtokillme · 26/07/2020 05:22

The letting them know it was an accident was due to DD telling everyone that “my daddy was a monster who broke my leg on the trampoline”. (He was bouncing that tramp Mat standing on the ground while they played monsters)

Bubblebu · 26/07/2020 05:53

I have received many many letters regarding my breast cancer diagnosis and many of them start this way - eg "It was a pleasure to see this lady" "It was my pleasure to speak to this articulate lady today" etc

Now don't get me wrong - i look back and am sure I have been a right PITA of a patient at times but at the same time I have generally tried to be as polite as I can and co operate - so although I have not given it much thought till now, my take on it if it is similar to yours is that some patients really must be hard work to treat at times so if they get someone who is even vaguely co operative they are happy.

But equally it could be nothing - just doctors speak for how they open correspondence which as stated above is to addressed to other doctors and the patient is just CC'd in.

user1498572889 · 26/07/2020 06:00

I’ve had a few different hospital appointments over the last few years. The first time I saw the follow up letter sent to my doctor it read “ I saw this lovely lady in clinic today” I laughed and mistakenly thought I was a lovely person. Since then every letter that has been sent after any hospital visit has started similarly to that. Always makes me laugh.

CareBear50 · 26/07/2020 06:06

Personally it wouldn't bother me.

The letter was polite and, to be honest, I do think you're over-reacting a bit OP.

You were seen within three weeks and you got good news. Sometimes I think people are looking to be offended

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 26/07/2020 06:09

I can see why "delightful" might grate, given how often people use it on MN in a totally sarcastic fashion, but I think it's different out there in the real world and several people have said it's medical speak for "not a total arse" so I think it's ok.

Not necessary, mind. But better than a letter I got from one consultant to another where somehow my age had gone up by 40 years...

Trinketsfor20 · 26/07/2020 06:11

I do wonder if they would write in a similar manner about a man who was having tests for testicular cancer?

Cannot say for testicular cancer but when my male spouse needed 2 years of investigations of a horrendously embarrassing personal health problem all his consultant letters waxed lyrical about “the delightful young man” - “an engaging young IT manager” and various Such.

MedSchoolRat · 26/07/2020 06:13

What about just writing "the patient"? What is wrong with that.

Very frowned upon to say :"the patient". That phrasing would be tyreating them as a category not as an individual. I suspect 'pleasant' or 'delightful' mean "We didn't have any any disagreements."

I can't believe folk make such meals out of single benign words. I don't even read those parts of the letters.

Pobblebonk · 26/07/2020 06:31

@BarbaraofSeville

Sorry, but that's dreadful. Not professional at all. Reports on this sort of thing should be factual and medical. I do wonder if they would write in a similar manner about a man who was having tests for testicular cancer?
Yes, they do.
Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 26/07/2020 06:34

It's commonplace and you're being an attention seeker for something so petty it's almost embarrassing to read. It hasn't hurt you and yes, it's code for this is a nice patient not a twat although it seems they got yours wrong. Grin

torquewench · 26/07/2020 06:46

I used to work for a solicitors practice that dealt with personal injury claims. We'd get medical reports on every client.

The only one that I remember after 20 years is one that described the client as "a rotund, moon-faced individual".

Wecandothis99 · 26/07/2020 06:48

Crikey. I'm surprised you're not younger, you sound like one of those snowflake types

nitsandwormsdodger · 26/07/2020 07:01

I used to do admin at hospital and lots of doctors start letter in a similar way
Usually when talking about a child I would add
Ie " was pleased to see the delightful Jonny today in clinic ..." it's nice if like me you have SEN kids who attend a lot of clinics it's warm and less clinical
Maybe email the doctor themselves and say it wasn't appreciated it is a bit old fashioned to be described as delightful, was it an older doctor by any chance ?

Incrediblytired · 26/07/2020 07:19

I guess the doctor was older? It used to be really common to say “I saw this lovely lady in my clinic today” but younger doctors tend not to do it.

I get your surprise but sounds like there are bigger fish to fry...

DivGirl · 26/07/2020 07:34

@nitsandwormsdodger

I used to do admin at hospital and lots of doctors start letter in a similar way Usually when talking about a child I would add Ie " was pleased to see the delightful Jonny today in clinic ..." it's nice if like me you have SEN kids who attend a lot of clinics it's warm and less clinical Maybe email the doctor themselves and say it wasn't appreciated it is a bit old fashioned to be described as delightful, was it an older doctor by any chance ?
I agree. Email the consultant so that next time they can start the letter more appropriately with "I saw this miserable hag in clinic today".

For what it's worth I have also found it to be entirely normal and common doctor code. It's used for (and by) men and women equally.

Just be happy they haven't had to cut your tits off and stop trying so hard to be offended.

DitchinVirgin · 26/07/2020 07:35

Yes you fucking are. Jesus.

wincarwoo · 26/07/2020 07:36

I was also described similarly after having a scan for ovarian cysts. It has always stuck in my memory and I decided to be flattered. Then I realised that it was standard. I agree it's a little twee.