Summer hols and now the housework is down to me?

[SummerHolsClean]

I'm a teacher in a primary school (job change for me) and just started the 6weeks summer hols. I've still got to go in during this time and get the classroom ready for pupils (putting up new displays, labelling new school books, prepping work etc) and reading all the new stuff about supporting students after lockdown and how the curriculum is now going to look.

DH has today said that he feels I should now do more of the cleaning than him as I’m off work. At the moment we share the cleaning - he hates doing it.

I was a bit surprised at his suggestion and had to point out that my job hasn’t stopped as I’ve still got stuff to do. He acknowledged this but said he didn’t feel it was fair as he is still working hard (he’s in IT, works from home, well paid role) and the kids and I are off.

So I’m wondering if this works with other relationships - do you do more housework when you’re on holiday and your partner not?

YABU - Yes the partner on holiday should do the lions share. YANBU - No, it should still be split equally.

If you are at home and not working more than he is, you should do more jobs in the house. It is just logistically sensible.

I haven’t voted as my answer is that it depends. DH is a teacher and we do do this...not so much cleaning as shopping and cooking. I do it all in term time whilst he works silly hours but then he picks up well over 70% plus full time childcare in the holidays. Works for us.

Do a cleaning hour at the weekend everybody pitches in, including the kids. Split the tasks between you. I work term time and this is how I get through the hols. I then do bits of deep cleaning and sorting plus the more daily cleaning tasks during the week. Makes me feel less like a slave....Everybody makes the house dirty so they should all pitch in.

I do also wonder if some of you are just doing far to much cleaning.
It isn't like it takes days every week, or hour upon hour every day.

When my dc were little / needed looking after, I was a teacher, and I would manage to keep 3 of them entertained, fed, the washing done, etc and the house might never have been a showhome but it was never unhygienic either. I do think some people go looking for work sometimes.

@BackforGood

I do also wonder if some of you are just doing far to much cleaning. It isn't like it takes days every week, or hour upon hour every day.

When my dc were little / needed looking after, I was a teacher, and I would manage to keep 3 of them entertained, fed, the washing done, etc and the house might never have been a showhome but it was never unhygienic either. I do think some people go looking for work sometimes.

I have to agree. At the beginning of the holidays, it takes DH and I ages to get the house straight because we’re messy and term time is not the time to get me to do it. After that, it’s minimal time because I keep on top of it. Running the hoover round, quick dust, dishwasher and washing probably takes like 2-3 hours a week at most.

Who will be doing the childcare for the next 6 weeks?

It sounds like your DH is a lazy arse around the house tbh. If he desn't take his annual leave and when he does he buggers off to visit his parents, then he never does housework during his holidays so he can't insist that you do - in fact quite the opposite, you should get a week or two off chores and childcare like he does when he visits parents to make it even. So why should you who has to work through your "holidays" have to do more housework? He should get a cleaner if he doesn't want to do the housework that he is currently.

do you do more housework when you’re on holiday and your partner not?

put it another way:
the person who works full time when the other does not does LESS.

As above, you just need a better routine, 1 hour in the morning weekday is more than enough to keep the house. Not much left to for the one working full time anyway, you just need to share diner and cleaning the kitchen after, what else is there to do?

Tell him he won’t be able to visit his parents on his leave as he’ll have extra housework to do as you’ll be back to work. He doesn’t take much leave? Do you never holiday together he doesn’t take your kids and go out for days out etc? What’s the point in earning decent money if he behaved like this?
It’s both your homes, yes take some things off him but you’ve still kids to entertain etc Does he think you enjoy housework? He is in the home at work he could get up earlier and do some stuff or in his lunch or after work like everyone else does, I don’t think anyone just ‘works’ when they have a family they pitch in to run a home.
I’m a single parent and I do it all, there is no one else to run my house and there‘s 5 of us
He’s a twat imo

Most jobs you can't just keep bringing leave over to the new year, you eventually have to use it, so with the leave he does take does he do more? Just because you don't have plans to visit relatives doesn't really mean you should do more if he doesn't do more during his annual leave. I think doing a bit more would be fair and say you expect the say of him whilst he's on leave

DH generally takes his leave as family time, during those weeks neither of us do much more than essential housework, we're "on holiday". I use my remaining weeks as an opportunity to do the spring cleaning/decorating/garden jobs that would otherwise never happen.