Why am I so dumb!

[Yorkiee]

My sister is getting married. I jumped in to get my mum a dress. I ordered one and it came from another country. Just received an invoice to say duty, vat etc payment is £29.63 and I need to pay.

I did make the payment. Dressed turned out crap so I lost £80 all together. Told my sister and all she could say was oh that's not good.

Why am I so dumb? I always do this though. Any special occassion and I jump to buy something for my mum. Or buy gifts for family members. (Birthday , celebrations) but no one does it for me.

Anyone one else like me?

No. Do you have some sort of inferiority complex?

Or control issues?

Oh nooo just like to buy gifts :/

Is your mum not capable of choosing and ordering her own dress?

I don’t understand. Did your mum ask you to get the dress? Didn’t she want to try things on for her daughter’s wedding? Why did you pay? Do you normally by special occasion clothes for everyone?
So many questions.

Maybe try to choose UK websites in the future, and stick with brands you know. If it looks like a bargain too good to be true, it probably is. Nothing wrong with buying gifts for people, but be a bit wiser.

Why don't you order something from a reputable UK site so that you can return it and get a refund if it doesn't fit?

What did you expect your sister to say?

Doesn't the mother of the bride usually go shopping for her outfit with the bride and usually wears something that ties in with bridal party colours/theme??

I can kind of see why your sister might be a bit miffed......

Any special occassion and I jump to buy something for my mum
Always clothing or something random? Why would you think your mum wouldnt want to choose her own clothes? What other things are you buying for other events? All seems very odd.

I'm confused as to why you decided it was your place to choose your mums dress?

So much wrong with this.

I got married last year. I went shopping with my mum looking for something she might like. It was fun for her. It's part of the experience of a daughter getting married. I wouldn't dream of presuming to buy something for her without even consulting. It's just rude.

Why on earth are you buying things from abroad when they are so tricky to send back. Especially clothes for someone else.

Probably the weirdest thing I've read on MN.

I suspect your mum is somewhat relieved...

Wait did your Mum pick the dress and you paid to treat her or did you pick it without telling her?

Sounds like you're kind, thoughtful and a bit impulsive. Many people will make impulse purchases but maybe not something like a dress for their mum to wear to a wedding. Lesson learned about buying from overseas? Sounds like you get a bit giddy and buy things for special occasions. Maybe take a few days next time before splashing out...

That is a pretty dumb thing to do. Why didn't you think all this through before going ahead? Did your mum see the dress first and you kindly orders it for her without her knowing? That is a kind thing to do, but ordering from overseas is risky.

Is your complaint that you buy other people gifts that aren't reciprocated? Or that you spent a lot of money on something that was no good?

Picture of this dress?

Did you buy a dress for your mother without checking with her? I'd be pretty annoyed if anyone did that for me. There would be a pressure for her to wear it to the wedding even if she didn't like it. It's not actually a thoughful thing to do at all.

Next time you get the urge to buy someone a gift maybe check first that it's something they'd actually want/need/use. Alternatively, just let people buy their own stuff.

That’s really... odd.
Did your mum see the dress online and so you knew she wanted it? Or was it just a completely spontaneous purchase? I think your heart is in the right place but maybe next time just take her shopping?

Why would you buy your mums dress? It's not something you buy gifts for. You buy gifts for the bride

Also if it was Shein/Wish etc you can still return

The solution seems quite straightforward, stop doing that .
Is your question really about what motivates you to buy things like this ?
Is it an expression of affection ?
You say no one does it for you , that's a blessing though , isn't it ?

Why do you do that? Is it the appreciation? Stop doing it.

It seems like you try really hard to please your mum. Maybe to get some affection back? This is your sisters wedding let them dress shop together.

You’ll have to explain why you bought your mum a dress? Did she choose it?