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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be relieved that my MiL has just left after a fortnights visit.....

41 replies

Rach35 · 30/09/2007 15:46

She has stayed with us after birth of DD (who is now 3wks) and I have found myself in tears at frustration with her. She came to stay to 'help out' and I have cooked for her every night, she has hardly done a thing, she has left dirty plates and cups on the side for me to clear away into the dishwasher, I have asked her for help with things and then she hasn't done them (eg asked her to get some apples from supermarket which is 5mins walk away - she goes out and comes back empty handed AN HOUR AN HALF LATER - having been chatting with people - no apples cos she went to corner shop instead of supermarket and then didn't think to go to supermarket). She professes to be an expert on everything inc bf - so I ask her how long she bf my DH and it was 4 DAYS!!! She talked constantly about herself, never asked how I was post birth. She probably thinks I am the most surly DiL because I really struggled with her company towards the end...... Argh even DH claims to not understand her. But rant over ..... I have peace, DD and house to myself.... Any other MNers with MiL woes willing to share and make me LOL?

OP posts:
RubySlippers · 30/09/2007 15:47

2 weeks
good god woman, you are clearly made of sterner stuff than most

Original poster
Rach35 · 30/09/2007 15:49

but I have wept, oh yes I have wept.....!

OP posts:
Mercy · 30/09/2007 15:51

Just saw your post on the 'What's for dinner' thread and guessed this would be you!

Fortunately my MIL lives in a different country so I've never had this problem, although she manages to make up for it in other ways.

But YANBU - at all!

DUSTIN · 30/09/2007 15:52

No way could I have had my MIL staying after the birth. Mine lives in a different country and stayed for 6 weeks during my pregnancy. I think she was hanging on hoping I would go into labour whilst she was staying with us

Original poster
Rach35 · 30/09/2007 15:53

I live in a different country from my MiL too! I moved to bloomin' France! Defo up for that McDonalds though Mercy ...... I am not cooking for the next few nights!

OP posts:
edam · 30/09/2007 15:58

You are either a saint, or crazy. Or both. Blimey, I had a hard enough time putting up with my own mother staying after ds was born.

LIZS · 30/09/2007 16:21

so the next time there is a "Will I regret having the PIL's to stay after the birth" thread you'll be ready !

brimfull · 30/09/2007 16:25

You deserve a fucking huge medal!!!

Jacaranda · 30/09/2007 16:28

Well done you! My MIL has just promised all my reusable nappies to BIL as apparently I don't need them any more!!!! So pissed off, they weren't cheap and I wasn't planning to give them away! Little does she know that am sat here waiting for DH to come home with a pg test!

glitterchick · 30/09/2007 17:02

Fair play to you - 1 day with MIL and I wanna jump off a cliff. Congrats on new baby by the way.

Tommy · 30/09/2007 17:06

well done Rach - on the baby and surviving your MIL

Mine came to stay for 1 days after DS3 was born but, to be fair to her, she did everything (I was really ill ). Even though, we were glad when they went home - you need to get on with being your own family now

Tommy · 30/09/2007 17:06

she came for 10 days

sorry - my 0 key doesn't work very well!!

Original poster
Rach35 · 30/09/2007 17:37

Ha Tommy - thought you were going to say that 1 day was enough! My own mum came for 6 weeks - but my mum is great fun and v like a friend so we had shopping trips and outings together and the time went really quickly. MiL felt like she had been here 6yrs..........

OP posts:
Saturn74 · 30/09/2007 17:41
Twiglett · 30/09/2007 17:43

holy cow Rach .. you are a saint

Original poster
Rach35 · 30/09/2007 17:52

The 2wk thing was tricky Humphrey - she wanted to come the week I was due as well but I managed to explain to DH that there was only so much I could take. I did go utterly ballistic on DH about the apple scenario though (why is always the tiny things that light the fuse?!). You should have seen me storming through a French market - thinking I could rant away in English about my MiL - when I realised the elderly couple in front of me were English too. Let's just say I swore lots.....

OP posts:
Skyler · 30/09/2007 18:01

I totally agree you are an utter saint. What was she thinking of??!!!
Well done you.
My Mum, let alone my MIL would never come for so long. Even when we were living overseas they only came for a week at a time and if they stayed for two they got a villa.

andiem · 30/09/2007 18:05

you deserve a blardy diamond necklace from your dh not a medal I would last 2 days

Blu · 30/09/2007 18:13

OMG, how awful! Sorry your prescious time with your DD was strained by all that.

Did you think she would help before she arrived?

Elasticwoman · 30/09/2007 21:24

Sorry you've had this depressing experience. If you have any more babies, you'll know whom NOT to invite. My mil and own mother have always been as helpful as they could be when I had my children, so now they are both in their 80s I am happy to help them in their old age. I doubt you will feel the same about your selfish mil. Sorry if that's harsh. Your dh should have got rid of her earlier, once her complete lack of use was established.

nurseyemma · 30/09/2007 21:38

Have not read all of the thread but I think you must be a himan incantation of an ahgel for putting up with this. It's AWFUL she came for those first precious few days and didn't contribute anything but stress. Those first couple of weeks are so special.

I have FAR to many MiL horror stories to tell on here. 4 HOURS is my limit, seriously. Sometimes when my MiL comes I have to go to another room and cry, her whinging, her inability to work out when she may have outstayed her welcome for example!!!!

What a nightmare for you, hope you have some specila time togehter as a family now she has gone.

Flibbertyjibbet · 30/09/2007 21:46

TWO WEEKS!!!!
Give that girl a medal.
I just spend half a day in the company of the outlaws, haven't seen em since May and am now having g&t to de-stress!
Not even a 1,000 post thread would be long enough for me to put all my grievances against that woman
They stay at bils who have larger house. Only two bedrooms at ours and I every time I think of moving somewhere bigger, the thought of her packing to come and stay has me perfectly happy where I am.

Flibbertyjibbet · 30/09/2007 21:48

TWO WEEKS!!!!
Give that girl a medal.
I just spend half a day in the company of the outlaws, haven't seen em since May and am now having g&t to de-stress!
Not even a 1,000 post thread would be long enough for me to put all my grievances against that woman
They stay at bils who have larger house. Only two bedrooms at ours and I every time I think of moving somewhere bigger, the thought of her packing to come and stay has me perfectly happy where I am.

moondog · 30/09/2007 21:50

Two weeks.
You operated above and beyong the call of duty.
I loved my MIL but 48 hours was enough for all of us at a time.

Flibbertyjibbet · 30/09/2007 21:50

See, half a day with my mil and I can't even do my mnetting posts right!

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