To leave the profession after a few months?

[Vienettadream17]

First time poster and not sure if this is in the right
place but really hoping for some advice/support please from people who are maybe in a similar situation!
I qualified as a midwife recently, loved my training, but since qualifying I my feelings towards midwifery have changed. The trust that I’m working at are massively understaffed - to unsafe levels in my opinion. I dread every shift and cry before and after each one. I forget to document the slightest little thing and I’m made to feel like I’ve committed the worst kind of crime. The women seem utterly miserable (I understand that they probably are during covid - who can blame them!) despite me feeling like I bend over backwards for them, rarely get so much as a thank you. Rarely get a break throughout my shifts. I can’t enjoy any of my days off because I feel sick at the thought of my next shift. And I’m always paranoid something bad is going to happen and I will loose my pin. I’ve lost weight and people have started commenting that I look ill.

It’s also starting to effect my relationship now. I can tell my partner is becoming miserable because he never sees me happy anymore. He has been so supportive and has encouraged me to seek another job if I want to.

Anybody else having similar feelings?/have already left and feel much happier? Thanks x

I forget to document the slightest little thing and I’m made to feel like I’ve committed the worst kind of crime.

 Medical   negligence  is a crime.  

 The main surprise to me is  why you ever entered or  finished training.

I was a teacher for a long time before I made a career move but never liked it. I made lots of sideways moves and did additional qualifications, which eventually enabled the move into my current role (I love my new career!).

My advice would be: get an exit strategy in place. This may take a few years but will make you feel better to know there's an end point. In the meantime, get everything you can out of this situation. Move trusts (I worked in lots of different schools, all with very different cultures), explore sideways moves in your current career, do loads of CPD, specialise etc.

Now is too soon. It would look to a future employer like you lack commitment and bail at the first signs of challenge.

OP I feel for you.
It's a big change from being a student to being a real 100% professional, with all the responsibilities that holds. You will not be the only one of your cohort to be feeling this way. Don't throw in the towel just yet.

My first job on qualifying as a nurse was the pits. On my first day I was told by the ward clerk that I was making the beds wrong and it went downhill from there. I stuck it 10 months as there was a recruitment ban on and there were no other job to be had. I learnt a lot - not necessarily about nursing per se, but an awful lot about working in a dysfunctional team and how to survive in one. Set me up for life. I was taking an A level at the time to get me into uni - best motivation I've ever had was working on that ward.

So if work isn't giving you the personal satisfaction you need , you need to look elsewhere in your life for that satisfaction - good ol' Maslow was right all along. I know it's of little comfort but there are many people who just go to work to earn money so they can do other things outside of work.

So have a plan -
stay 6 months in this job (anything less than 6 months can look dodgy on the CV, during which time....
think about where you would like work next. If community is your aim - what experience / additional qualifications do you need. Once you have a clearer idea - approach managers there, requesting a meeting to discuss your career and ask what they look for in new recruits/ what the likelihood of vacancies etc.
Would you consider moving for a better job/ work abroad for a charity?

Even if you don't feel as if you have the time or energy try a new past time; brings a different energy to your life and certainly can help you stop dwelling on the disappointment of your current role.
Good luck

Same boat as you and know others who feel the same. Not in an understaffed or unsafe trust but absolutely dread going to work. The fear of litigation is real, some women/families now openly threaten it on shifts and it makes for an awful working environment. All the care we give is driven by reducing litigation or crappy management/government incentives published in glossy magazines. I have some shifts where I can keep my head down and get on with the women and feel like I make a difference, but there’s also many shifts where I feel invisible and inadequate.

I think you should move clinical area or trust. Band 5 is always rough and it did get better. I’m going through a rough patch after nearly 10 years in the job, but I can’t bring myself to leave because I know deep down I love parts of it too much.

Sorry op.

I think you should change careers. It's okay to do that and anyone that judges you is an idiot.

I had the most wonderful student midwife when I gave birth recently and we really bonded and she took the best care of my baby and followed us through. Not long after I found out she'd been having a really hard time and wasn't happy at all and she decided to take a break. Do what works for you. As a qualified midwife there will be lots of other things you can side step into. All the very very best xxx

If a job is making you physically or mentally unwell it’s time to leave. There’s no point in staying just so that you don’t have a blip on your CV!

I was a nurse. Working on a ward made me ill. It was awful. A grim old Victorian ward, I hated it! I ended up being signed off sick and then left nursing forever. At least I have a first class degree that has helped me elsewhere in life.

Oh and let let those kicking you when you're down get to you. There are always people who feel superior doing this - pity them. Their lives must be so devoid of joy.

people forget - midwives, nurses, doctors are human and have the full range of human frailities. And yes sometimes we make mistakes in career choice, but usually those who qualify have the right approach to the work. I say again - it's a big jump from student to qualified and it can take a while for you to become accustomed to your new status.

Do you have a local mentoring scheme - might be worth looking into

Sorry - that's don't let those kicking you !

The only way it will get better is if staff that work there change it from the bottom up.
Take some time to reflect on any changes that YOU could make or that you could encourage your managers to make to improve things on your ward. It doesnt have to be big things, it often the little things that are important.

Also look at your own time management and procedures. Is everyone else able to write what they need to write in the given time? Ask for advice from your mentors or seniors to see how they do things.
Dont give up your career so soon. Its such a valuable role and you are making a huge difference to so many people AND you worked hard to get where you are.

I had a baby last summer and was absolutely shocked at the rudeness of the majority of the other mothers. The staff were phenomenal and in all cases were going above and beyond. And yet the mothers were awful to them. No thank yous when they were having dinner brought to their beds. Asking for things like extension leads to charge their phones and shouting if it didn't arrive when they wanted it. Demanding not asking for things. I was so so shocked. And I'm really sorry that any health worker has to put up with this.

Thank you all so much for your kind replies! I think moving trust is an option (I don’t work where I trained because this new trust is closer to home).
I don’t want to throw the towel in because I have worked so hard to get here but I also want to feel happy again!!

My advice would be to look for another midwifery position- either in a different hospital to gain experience before moving into community or straight into community.

If you have done the three years training and got a job you clearly have the skills and passion. Perhaps the current hopsital just isn't the one for you. Can you speak to the lead midwife or another senior colleague about how you feel? They should be there to support you.

I'm a teacher and really didn't like my first job. It was in a 6th form college and on the face of it, it was the perfect job but I used to dread every day. Loved the students but the ethos of the place wasn't great.

I stuck it for a couple of years and then got a job in a school that had a sixth form. Been there ever since and absolutely love it. I've had two promotions and although there are tough days, I really enjoy it. The first place just wasn't right for me.

A relative whose lifelong ambition was to be a midwife stopped in the mid-80s. She felt patients’ attitudes had changed for the worse and that, as a qualified professional, she was getting treated with disrespect from colleagues and superiors.
She retrained to work as a NICU nurse and never looked back.

I think that’s the issue. You have to feel appreciated by either the women you care for or the team you work with. One of those can slack off as long as morale is pulled up by the other. At the moment the management just see midwives as donkeys to be worked to the bone and an increasing number of women buy into the Daily Mail driven hysteria that midwives are out to deny an epidural or injure your baby.

I get it OP. I totally get it. Can you talk to your PMA about how you are feeling? Is there a preceptorship midwife available to support you? Do your other band 5 colleagues feel like this? Is it possible that you could rotate to a different area of the unit? Eg. If you’re on postnatal (you probably are, it’s dire), you could try antenatal or birthing unit?

Some midwives just aren’t hospital midwives. I’m not. The politics, the hierarchy, the bitchiness (perceived or otherwise), the pressures and constraints... I just don’t cope. Outwardly I look like I’m doing okay for the most part but I feel shit all the time. My personality doesn’t suit it and I don’t have the resilience. I also just feel chastised and guilty all the time. My advice would be to keep your head down for 12 months, get your band 6, and get into community.

I've been in a similar position-I left at just under six months. Never had an issue finding a different job and straight out told them I wasn't a ward HCP. Was/am much happier in my new role.
It really isn't worth the stress and anxiety.
I'd look to see what's out there in terms of children's healthcare and go from there. Check out private sector too. Also, as PP have said, see about training as an HV.

Oh gosh I could of written your post but as a nurse. I left 8 years ago and don’t think I’d ever return.

Some patients and their relatives are really rude and sometimes abusive to staff. It’s tough dealing with that every shift. A thank you is rare.

As a newly qualified you should have a preceptor or someone overseeing you. How much support do you get? Did you get any supernumerary time when you qualified. I find the ones that leave are the ones that get zero support on qualifying.

You also haven’t given it a lot of time, but if you’re really miserable then look for a different job. I absolutely hated one of my rotations and almost left nursing but I stuck it out, moved onto my next ward and loved it. I wouldn’t write off midwifery so quickly, it just may not be the place for you. The first few months are always hard, the jump from student to qualified is not easy.

Documentation is important though. If you didn’t write it down it didn’t happen.

@Vienettadream17 I was you many years ago. I truly empathise.

You need a mentor even if it’s an informal arrangement. A more senior midwife that you get on with to have a regular chat with and discuss your progress. Definitely think about moving to a more supportive trust- you must have friends from your uni cohort who can suggest better alternatives?

The first year is awful for many midwives, it’s so much responsibility and the cliques among the staff can be shameful. I discovered in myself that I simply wasn’t a labour ward midwife, it didn’t suit me but I adored antenatal. So I specialised ( not an immediate option but certainly is in the medium future) and had a wonderful career.

Have a chat with your GP or get a referral to Occ Health, they often offer counselling. Also be open at work about needing support, the most senior midwives regularly double check their decisions with colleagues.

Hang on in there and it can get better. Use time off to relax and remember that this passes. ( A friend’s DD who qualified a couple of years ago was exactly the same and is now far happier and more confident, again she was badly supported).

Best wishes and ignore people on here being mean. If you’ve never experienced this you cannot understand.

OP are you on central delivery? Would there be an option to move to the anti natal clinic or post natal ward instead? How about NICU? I can imagine it would be nice to work in the community as a midwife so jobs are probably sparse. I'm a nurse with NICU and adult ICU experience so I can fully sympathise with how you are feeling. You need to talk to your manager and tell her how you are feeling. It's not acceptable for a newly qualified member of staff to be made to feel this way. It annoys me that there is such a blame culture in the NHS. People are always quick to jump on you if you forget something minor but never give positive feedback. You should be supported and encouraged.
I'm currently leaving my current role in Hospital and moving to practice nursing. Sick of being undervalued and over worked, you need to be happy and if you aren't then please don't put yourself through it. The amount of colleagues I work with that have mental health issues and anxiety is extremely worrying. 2 nurses I trained with have committed suicide.
Look after yourself xx

So nice to hear from people with similar experiences. Thank you. I have read plenty of threads on here prior to positing where people criticise midwives and I’m amazed because all the midwives I know do their absolute very best! It’s upsetting and worrying! Also when people ask “well why did you choose to do it then”? And other such remarks.... well because I DO love my job but as a human being I am allowed to feel like this! And I am allowed to think that the profession is getting increasingly more challenging in terms of politics etc.

As a midwife your other option is NICU.

I am on a delivery ward yes. And I know documentation is important, one of the most important aspects of the job. Documentation varies massively from trust to trust and my new trust does it entirely different. I haven’t had much training/support with documentation because of short staffing so I’ve pretty much been thrown in at the deep end shall we say! It was a little tick box I forgot to tick (even though i had documented it somewhere else).

You don't need to justify yourself OP, like you say you have been thrown in rye deep end. You are not a robot. X