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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be really upset?

46 replies

GoneWild · 23/07/2020 20:55

I went to put some rubbish in the outside bins earlier (approx 3 hours ago) and two men were standing nearby. As soon as I walked past them one said, fairly loudly, “fucking fat cow.”. I didn’t confront them, mostly in shock, and only got upset once I was back in the house.

The thing is I am fat. Not morbidly so, and I’ve been working hard to lose weight - 3 stone down so far. It was just so random, and really unpleasant. More than all that is how embarrassed it’s left me feeling.

Tell me I’m unreasonable here to still feel so sensitive about it.

OP posts:

Nottherealslimshady · 23/07/2020 20:59

Some people are just wankers. You didn't even need to be fat, they'd have called you it anyway or something just as bad.
Congrats on the weight loss, dont let those pricks knock you down.

AntennaReborn · 23/07/2020 21:00

You're not sensitive OP, it's normal to be upset when confronted by such utter wastes of human skin!!

Who do these men think they are? It really boils my piss, people who think they can just be hurtful to people like that. Wankers.

Sorry you had to hear it OP, I know it's easier said than done but try not to give these vile men too much head space, they don't deserve it

PurpleRiverIsland · 23/07/2020 21:00

Yanbu that would really upset me too and I’m not sensitive about my weight in any way. Just the idea that someone felt they could be so rude and unkind while I’m quietly going about my own business next to my home would upset me!

Mrsbclinton · 23/07/2020 21:03

Well done on your weight loss.

Of course you are right to be upset by people calling you names, but please remember they are the ones who should be embarrassed not you.

What kind of a person does that? They sound like complete knobs. who get their kicks by belittling others. Please dont let them get to you 💐

LuluBellaBlue · 23/07/2020 21:04

What a horrible person :( I’m so sorry you experienced such a nasty outburst, they must be twisted full of self hate to throw abuse like that at strangers

Dreamersandwishers · 23/07/2020 21:06

Well done on 3 stone weight loss - that’s amazing!

Don’t waste your time thinking of them, they were ignorant & rude. And probably fugly too.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 23/07/2020 21:08

Some people are just arseholes. Nothing to do with you or anyone else; they'd be arseholes if Gisele walked past, too.

Their behaviour is theirs; don't let it stay with you. Keep focussing on the things that make you feel great, focus on the times you've felt good about yourself and let those arseholes go back to wanking angrily into their socks because some woman dared to rebuff their advances 13 years ago and they've hated every woman since.

MNX42 · 23/07/2020 21:12

Their comment had nothing to do with you being overweight, it was because you are female. They would not have insulted a man in the same way. Years ago two teenage boys called me a fat bitch when I was 9.5 months pregnant and carrying very little extra weight that wasn't baby. Many many men just hate women. Well done on your weight loss, and don't give them any more attention than they deserve.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 23/07/2020 21:14

let those arseholes go back to wanking angrily into their socks because some woman dared to rebuff their advances 13 years ago and they've hated every woman since.

OP - I’ve no idea what makes some people think it’s a good idea to randomly insult strangers; I’m sorry you’ve had to put up with that crap. Next time shout back, ‘I can go on a diet - there’s no diet for your face’.

BubblyBarbara · 23/07/2020 21:16

Why are men such absolute creeps

Blackdog19 · 23/07/2020 21:18

I voted to say YANBU to be upset. However they were being arseholes and they’d have said anything to upset. Wouldn’t have mattered if you were a size 0, it would have been something else. Well done on your weight loss.

Laks0007 · 23/07/2020 21:19

Horrible men. But are you sure they were talking about you? They may have been having a conversation..

Original poster

GoneWild · 23/07/2020 21:26

Thank you for all the kind replies. I know I need to get over it and stop being a drama queen, I was just mortified!

Yes, it was definitely to me. They didn’t speak before that, and the comment dropped after I walked by. The friend laughed.

Absolute arseholes, just wish I had told them! I still can’t get over how embarrassed it left me feeling, very bizarre!

OP posts:

Sparklesocks · 23/07/2020 21:32

Nasty fuckers.
Happy, confident people don’t feel the need to shout abuse at strangers. It’s probably some sad git trying to impress his mate.

I know it’s easier said than done but people like that are not worth your effort or time.

RunningAwaywiththeCircus · 23/07/2020 21:35

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

TrainspottingWelsh · 23/07/2020 21:40

Yabu. They're wankers, it's obviously a compliment that they insulted your appearance, imagine how offensive it would be if a pair of knobrots like that had complimented you.

It's their Henry hoovers I feel sorry for, I dread to think of the comments these fuckwits shout out during sex.

WonderWebbs · 23/07/2020 21:47

OP I understand that you are upset but these men are just mean unpleasant dicks. You on the otherhand have lost 3 stone which is amazing. You can continue to lose weight and feel fabulous whereas they will always be dicks. Hopefully karma bites them on the arse one day.

Almostfifty · 23/07/2020 21:51

I bet neither of them were oil paintings OP.

PumpkinPie2016 · 23/07/2020 21:53

Well done on your weight loss.

I can understand you being upset -he was vile for absolutely no reason. People like that only behave the way he did because they are unhappy with themselves in some way so they need to try to make themselves feel better.

I pity the people they are/have been in relationships with.

for you.

PrtScn · 23/07/2020 21:56

Next time say something like "at least I can loose weight, but you'll always be ugly"

IwishIhadaMargarita · 23/07/2020 21:57

Were they gorgeous specimens? I bet not.

ScissorsBike · 23/07/2020 22:04

Earslaps · 23/07/2020 22:16

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. They do- they are utter misogynistic wankers. Idiots like that love to insult people they know won't answer back to bolster their pathetic egos or to try and look big in front of their mates.

Just remember, if they were happy people and felt comfortable in their own skins, they would just go on living their lives and leave you alone. I choose to pity idiots like that, partly because it would piss them off

Your weight is your business and yours alone. Eat and exercise to be healthy and feel good, not because of what those idiots say- their opinion of you is worthless.

tinkerbellla · 23/07/2020 22:20

Ugh what kind of sad fucker would be pathetic enough to say that. Imagine what sad, shitty lives they must have. Just so tragic. Well done on your weight loss!

sammylady37 · 23/07/2020 22:25

I remember reading an article once about the ways in which some men belittle women. If they’re name-calling, it tends to be one of fat, slut, slag or psycho, or a combination thereof. Because most women would be hurt by these names.

Easier said than done, but try remember it’s not personal, and it says far more about them than it does about you.

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