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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be really upset?

46 replies

GoneWild · 23/07/2020 20:55

I went to put some rubbish in the outside bins earlier (approx 3 hours ago) and two men were standing nearby. As soon as I walked past them one said, fairly loudly, “fucking fat cow.”. I didn’t confront them, mostly in shock, and only got upset once I was back in the house.

The thing is I am fat. Not morbidly so, and I’ve been working hard to lose weight - 3 stone down so far. It was just so random, and really unpleasant. More than all that is how embarrassed it’s left me feeling.

Tell me I’m unreasonable here to still feel so sensitive about it.

OP posts:

Coyoacan · 23/07/2020 22:34

The very idea that there are people in this world who take delight in making life a bit more unpleasant for random strangers is enough for you to be upset. If it hadn't been your weight, it would have been your nose or the colour of your skin. Sad sadistic bastards.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 23/07/2020 22:42

they probably have extremely small dicks.
and brains.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 23/07/2020 22:43

OP, don't let it stay in your mind - which is easy for me to say, I know. Some people are just absolute arseholes, and they rely on the shock value of saying something so nasty to get to you. I agree with @sammylady37 that men tend to have certain fallback insults for women. I got called a 'stupid fat bitch' a few months ago by some random bloke because I was keeping to the SD rules in Tesco. I am clinically underweight! Obviously that made it easier for me to laugh off his bollocks, but it just shows how meaningless those insults are.

Bloody well done on your weight loss. YANBU to be upset, but you can also be glad you're not someone who has to live with a twat like that.

Pancakeorcrepe · 23/07/2020 22:47

God, what vile bastards! Don’t let it upset you please, they are a pair of wankers.

HOkieCOkie · 23/07/2020 22:48

They are horrible nasty men!! Forget it x

Thedogscollar · 23/07/2020 22:56

Twats, the pair of them. Not worth giving them headspace.

Congratulations on a 3 stone weight loss, amazing achievement given how life is at the moment.

StoneofDestiny · 23/07/2020 22:57

It wouldn't have mattered what you looked like - if two 'men' decided to hurl an insult and laugh at a random woman on her own, you can pretty much be certain they are low life, knuckled dragging Bawbags. They'd not have dared say it to a woman with her strapping bloke stood next to her in fear they be wearing their teeth as earrings - they are just seriously inadequate cowardly oxygen thieves.

Splitsunrise · 23/07/2020 23:04

What a sad sad man. Imagine being his wife! It’s not personal OP, he’s projecting, probably insecurity about his minuscule penis.... and congrats on weight loss! That’s amazing progress

Gooseygoosey12345 · 23/07/2020 23:28

I know it's hard but don't take it personally. I got called a fat cow when I was underweight! It seems like the go-to insult to be aimed at women. He's a wanker and he doesn't define you or your worth.

Shizzlestix · 23/07/2020 23:37

Some people are just nasty fuckers. A woman said this to me in passing as I was walking the dog the other day. I just have no idea why. I also don’t need telling I’m fat, I’m not blind. I too was too amazed to respond, I angrily stormed off thinking of insults to hurl back next time this happens, but it’s only happened twice in my life, so I’m unlikely to need it!

If it’s a bloke, maybe ‘Yeah and you’re a fucking Adonis (not)’ would be a good response and to a woman ‘Yeah, but you’re ugly and I can lose weight’. Saying that, I don’t think I’m brave enough and my DH says you never know how people will react (completely love what @RunningAwaywiththeCircus said!) so maybe better to walk on by. Some people are angry and horrible enough to try to hurt you.

Poor bloke was clearly feeling extremely inadequate: feel sorry for him, OP, he’s a misogynistic wanker and has huge issues.

MadameMeursault · 23/07/2020 23:47

Well done for losing all that weight, that’s amazing. Please try not to be upset by what some random piece of shit said about you. I know it’s easy to say, but the opinion of such a wanker should matter nothing to you.

rosamacrose · 23/07/2020 23:48

You're not being a drama queen at all.
Very hurtful.
They are, as all above have said, a pair of sad pricks with nothing in their lives.
Head up love, shoulders back and walk proud.

Lisbon2013 · 24/07/2020 00:01

Congratulations on your weight loss! I had a similar experience, my friend and I were walking into the sea for a swim, we stopped to let a child toddle past us. The child looked up and said “ladies” and the woman with the child said “Yes, two fat ladies” - I didn’t hear her but my friend did. I have just lost two stone so I’m not hugely overweight but it was so rude and unprovoked, it’s hard to understand why some people feel they can get away with fat shaming. I wish I’d realised at the time, I could have told her “watch out or I’ll sit on you!”...

LioneIRichTea · 24/07/2020 00:22

The old rhyme ‘sticks and stones’ is so wrong... names hurt so much more. When I was a teenager a builder chucked a coin at me and said “get a facelift” and him and his shitty mates all laughed. It still makes me upset to this day even though I know he was a dick so I understand OP. People like this get kicks out of punching people down, they’re sad and lonely with twisted jaded souls.

AngryPancake · 24/07/2020 00:30

That’s the type of person who would go to Bournemouth beach in the middle of a pandemic, piss in the sea, and leave all their rubbish behind.

You, however, have lost 3 stone! I truly fantasise about such things but am just not good enough to do it. What you’ve done is amazing! Try to forget what that wanker said and continue your fantastic weight loss journey. Good luck!

CityCommuter · 24/07/2020 00:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

GoneWild · 24/07/2020 00:42

Sorry to everyone who has had similar things happen, it really is shitty. Given how things are panning out around the world right now, you’d think everyone would be a little nicer.

It turned out they were doing some work for a neighbour who gave their telephone number to my husband. He had a word - one or two extremely choice words - and they apologised to him for calling his wife names. It beggars belief.

Thank you also for the encouragement about weight loss, it’s definitely helped to boost me back up again.

OP posts:

Bananaman123 · 24/07/2020 00:45

Cunts op, ignore them. Its times like these you wish you said something back and get yourself more upset, they are not worth it. I like to scream into a pillow sometimes lol to get all my anger and frustration out so scream into your pillow 'fuck off you prick, at least i can do something about my weight, your fucked, cant do nowt about being an ugly cunt'.

katy1213 · 24/07/2020 00:50

There isn't a diet in the world will increase their brain power.

Titsywoo · 24/07/2020 00:51

Some people are just pathetic twats. This has happened to be several times. Always men. Sometimes I've been fat and sometimes I have been thin and they still call me fat. Their tiny little brains can't come up with anything else. Once a group of teenage boys threw stones at me because they thought I had a fat arse. I was a size 8 (admittedly my bum has always been round but i see that as a positive!).

I also find it's almost always when I'm on a diet that this happens. And i don't diet often! Don't let them knock your confidence please. Well done on the weight loss - I know how hard it can be!

Redhair23 · 24/07/2020 01:05

Big brave men weren’t they? These stories are so depressing, and to bring a child up to be a nasty bully too is proof that some people should not be parents.

At least you don’t live their miserable life op and well done on the weight loss.

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