To be totally fed up with trying to 'build a career'

[Sootikinstew]

All I want to do is be good at my job, grow, learn and develop and land better paid work to support my family into a better lifestyle.

I am so so tired of feeling like I have to fight harder than anyone else (only my perspective obviously) to try to get to where I want to be.

3.5 years iv been trying for a new role and what I am doing is clearly not working. I think my feelings are being compounded by my homeworking isolation from the workplace environment, August will be month 5 of working remotely. Iv been so resilient and usually am naturally fairly good at shaking it off, learning and moving on.

But iv just had enough. I find myself daydreaming of lottery wins and isolated homes in the country taking it easy and just doing as I please.

I can't be alone can I? A thread for a vent if anyone wants to join in.

I feel exactly the same. I ask for development opportunities, I succeed and get good feedback but I am too useful where I am to be promoted. I am so disheartened and jaded. I just feel like a right mug!

@Jammymare do you know jammy I've often wondered that as I get given all these 'development opportunities' where I manage a project or train a new team or redesign a process but never get given a role I interview for. I honestly feel like an interview these days is a buzz word tick box exercise and that I am too useful to them as cheap labour!

I'm exhausted with trying to development myself and move up the ladder. I've gone for a couple of promotions and each time they obviously have someone in mind for the role. It's so hard in my organisation to move up, especially as a woman. It's an extremely non-transparent and unfair place behind the scenes, whilst promoting itself as inclusive and diverse. I'm not bitter, there are all sorts of similar experiences I've heard of.

Lockdown has taught me to care a bit less about work and focus on my interests. I'm finding pleasure in my dancing hobby and trying to improve my fitness in other ways. I will only give so much to my job and want to focus more on being there for my son while he's young.

I am totally and utterly lost when it comes to career right now. I moved to a new country and just about got my work visa through and finished a course I'd been doing remotely and...Boom, pandemic. It has made everything really complicated for a hundred tedious reasons.

OP you actually sound very successful to me though! It seems like you have some impressive things under your belt?

It took me a full 20 years to get my foot in the door of what I wanted to do. 20 years. Even in my worst nightmares in my mid 20s when I felt I was getting left behind I never imagined how long it would take. But if I'd given up, I definitely wouldn't have made any progress. So, whilst I know all the younger people reading that will think 1) that will never happen to me (I thought that too, but it did) and 2) if something doesn't happen for me soon, it will be too late, I just really wanted to say don't give up.

@AbsentmindedWoman see, on paper yes indeed I do. But they don't want me when I interview!

It's as @ritzbiscuits says I feel they always have someone in mind for the role but interview because it's the acceptable way to promote.

I also sometimes feel that it's more of a social networking exercise than showing you can actually do the bloody job!

I think it's impossible now. As soon as you get where they tell you you ought to be, they move the goalposts. They also want full commitment for each current role, while being fully flexible and enthusiastic about every single change. Somehow it all always means you end up working more for less. It's all making retail look very attractive, if there's anything left of it. There's the problem. For all the government's twisted and manipulated figures there are fewer jobs than people who want them in a time of soaring living costs. And it's only going to get worse! What joy.

The two big steps I made in my career came from moving to a different company. I think it's easier to sell yourself as a 'grade X' to someone new who doesn't just see you as the 'grade Y' that they know.

My moves weren't by choice though, I was getting made redundant both times. If anything redundancy was an extra impetus that helped because there would be nothing to fall back on soon and I think the trick for a good career is lighting that flame in yourself without the real fear of losing your job!

@Pepperwort do we work for same place 😂.

It's exhausting and unnatural isn't it. My workplace are now banging on about bringing your 'genuine self' to work everyday and working in an adult environment where we can 'be at our best'

It makes me want to vomit.

When you say you've been trying for a new role for 3.5 years, do you mean an internal move or have you been applying for jobs with other companies? What feedback have you had when you haven't been offered roles?

@breakingthebank an internal upwards move.
I get feedback (too much to go through and not in the mood sorry) work on said feedback, apply again work on feedback and on and on it goes.

Usually the best way to progress is to move company/firm. We had a bring your whole self to work initiative a couple of years ago (complete with mandatory lunchtime sessions -bring your own sandwiches). Turns out what they meant was bring your wholeself to work, so long as the bit you bring neatly fits in one of our diversity boxes and there is no impact on you behaving like a public school alumni (not like those private school peasants).

I agree with a PP. The only way to be taken seriously is to go for other jobs. I'm in a sector that isn't particularly well paid, but I just worked out the other day I've managed to increase my pay about 30% in about four years and find nicer conditions, through some strategic moves. I have now been turned down for three internal promotions, however, so it may be time for another move!

I have only got promoted once in my 20+ years career. And that was only because my co-boss left and I got his title. Nothing else changed. Never had a development plan or anyone asking me what i want to learn.
What I did though:

• change companies max every 2 years for other type of positions that I was more interested in
• learnt whatever the hell I wanted, when I wanted and then applied it.

This build up a great knowledge base that I can use as a business analyst, project/program manager, service designer, ux designer, consultant (business/management/software) and solution architect. The downside is that when companies are looking for a eg.service designer I mostly don't even make it through the hr firm's filter as the bloody 20 year old knob sitting there can't make heads or tails of my career. Which is infuriating.

I totally agree with you.

I am at a point now where I am just trying to make my current job as easy as possible for ME. Let's face it, the longer you're in a job the easier it gets. Any streamlining /cutting corners/delegating that I can do, I will.

You do have to move jobs to get a pay rise. My current employer has proven that they shot themselves in the foot with the person who did my role previously : she knew her fucking shit did that woman and gave her heart and soul - she only wanted 10k more - they refused, she quit. And now they have me

Genuine self? What?

Defated, bored and disillusioned?

I agree with PP

From what you have described OP, there is no point in keeping on applying for internal promotions. You will have to apply for a higher level job in a different organisation.

@lockdownalli that's gonna be tricky though now right?

Covid and all that

It depends I guess. Probably just as unlikely/likely to be promotions going at your place at the moment so temporarily a moot point

Long term though, start networking and thinking about other places you would like to work.

Good luck.

Love that you’ve been asked to bring your genuine self to work. What a load of toss.

We’ve recently been told we’re not just a firm, we’re a family. Which is odd because I don’t hang around worrying about redundancy with my actual family. Someone told me they tell you you’re a family when they’re about to ask you to do stuff they don’t want to pay you for.

I read on here once and it was verified by people coming on the thread but the key to rising is to change companies every 2 years.
Also as someone who is approaching retirement I would say driving a career is hugely overrated. It’s all pretty empty in the end w

I would agree I think you need to look elsewhere. Have had the same problem where I work now, am told I am valued/highly thought of etc but don't get anywhere internally. Am on maternity leave at the moment but intended to start looking at the end if it. Not sure how good the job market is going to be at the moment OP but you could start working on interview skills/CV etc.

I definitely agree that moving company is the only way to progress sometimes both in terms of role and salary.
I’d use all those skills and the effort to develop, update your LinkedIn profile and start looking for a new role that takes you to the next level.

Not ideal at the moment due to the job market, but I found the fastest way to progress was also moving company every few years, before moving into a nice secure public sector job at a high level which I wouldn't have got I don't think starting at the bottom and working my way up in the same organisation. Also my advice to anyone would be to run if someone offers 'development opportunities', it's usually the work no one else wants to do. Do you have a review with your manager every year where you can outline what you would like to achieve etc and agree on a way to do so? Are there any related professional qualifications they can offer you? Any gaps in your experience that you could get by joining a different team internally?